Under the circumstances

I have decided to never be under circumstances.

Circumstances seem to build-up, so don't get me wrong. I am human, and being human requires that I feel the weight of bills piling up and children growing up. I'm not old enough yet to be obsessed with my cholesterol or colon, but as I listen to my friends' conversations I am increasingly disturbed by the frequency of words I hear that end in "oscopy" and "ectomy." I am not immune from circumstances.

My oldest son will soon be given permission by my state to drive a car without my supervision (and another bill goes up, along with my blood pressure). We all went through this passage, and it seems easy enough, but this is different. This is my son, and my life (and my car). I have a picture in my mind of other new drivers cruising narrow snow-covered streets and dodging snow plows while responding to text messages and trying to choose a new playlist on their iPod. At least the impact will be absorbed by his Venti Strawberry Frappuccino. I am not immune from circumstances.

And worse than snow plows, there are girls out there. Has anyone else held off temptation and relationships with careful vigilance only to find the weight of them come crashing in on the whole family on the same day? How will they drive cars while trying to impress girls at the same time? This seems a feat of scientific impossibility. It's a wonder any insurance company avoids bankruptcy while extending policies to students. And I am not under the circumstances.

My list could go on. Circumstances that pile-up on 40-somethings will crush the flesh of mere mortals. You could add your sad sack list of complaints alongside my own.

But I am withdrawing my list of "Under-the-circumstances" complaints permanently. I am emboldened to teach my sons self-control and wisdom and to text only after you arrive (and maybe at the red light). I am not afraid of doctors with rubber gloves and my own fluctuating BMI. If oscopies lead to ectomies then I thank God for research and technology. And when there are no more parts to functionally remove then I shall really live.

"Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them."

My days in this world have been numbered (Psalm 139:16, quoted above) since before I lived any on them. And when those days are gone then I shall truly be alive. The troubles of this world are real, but fleeting. Heavy, but disappearing. Present, but not permanent.

So the circumstances of this life are reduced to a molehill by the reality of the next life. I am left to weigh something other than circumstances: how many of my circumstances (molehill) are eternal concerns (mountain)? How could I focus on my sons' iPods (molehill) when the central dream of my life is their character and passionate pursuit of Christ (mountain)? How I effort to beat my body into submission (molehill) but not to wrestle with God in prayer over the eternal state of my Christless neighbor (mountain). While wrestling to amass treasure in this world (I have to eat, right?--molehill), do I have even an ounce of concern for treasure that is in heaven (mountain)? This life is really passing away (and it's a very real molehill), and there's an old song on a tape somewhere that reminds us "only what's done for Christ will last" (mountain).

Though I am fully human, I am not under the circumstances.