Some things are better left unsaid: "Is that the only shirt you had?" "Are you pregnant?" and my personal favorite from Father of the Bride, "He's just like you, Dad, except he's a genius."
But there are tons of things better off said. And on this Mother's Day I'd like to say a couple of them to and about my wife:
"When I was nearly lost, maybe forever, God used your love to turn my heart to his."
"Without your character I'd be way too willing to settle for good enough and gray."
"Thanks for balancing our checkbook for 20 years without 'pleases' or 'thank-yous.' Without you we'd have even less money." :0
"Thanks for couponing, shopping deals and buying off brands that I have learned to like."
"Thanks for your willingness to hear and respond to the voice of Jesus calling you to die. The life you now live in the flesh glorifies God. You look more and more like Jesus everyday."
"Thanks for carrying our children inside you while I sat around and made stupid and unfunny comments about baby weight. You did everything in bearing our children. All I did was run to White Castle for sliders (true story)."
"Thanks-you for enduring the body changes, stretch marks, ill-fitting clothes, stupid remarks and especially the pain of childbirth. You graciously and miraculously made it look pretty easy. I'm astounded"
"Thanks for loving, nurturing and understanding the baby years. If it were up to me the children would have received one diaper change per day and I would have constantly done what was needed to stop the crying. You made crying babies into little men through appropriate love, firm guidance and regular diaper changes."
"Thanks for teaching our children, well, everything. They know about this world God made because of you. They tie their shoes because of you. They learned to count because of you. They learned the alphabet because of you. You literally taught each one of them to read and write and rhyme and think. You have passed more than life onto our children. You have given them legacy."
"Thank-you for helping our children to know God. We both do some things, but you do many if not most of them yourself. Daily Bible reading with them, understanding, explanation and most importantly, constant modeling. They have seen Christ in you and been changed because of Him in you."
"Thank-you for your sensitive and emotional heart. Without you I would not understand a grieving heart, the deep places of the human soul or the extent of the glorious victory that Christ achieved for each sinner at the cross. I would not understand the depths of my own heart, my own feelings and my own grief if I didn't learn from you. Though I do not usually display it well, my emotional heart has been dug-out more fully and is more able to contain joy because you showed me how deep it really is."
"Thanks-you for sharing your life--your very soul with me. I always desire that you FEEL that it is safe to trust, and yet sometimes when you trust I hurt you."
So on this Mother's Day, 2011, these are just a few of the things about you that I am thankful for. In every corner of my heart there is another dark place that God has used you to help me discover and surrender to Him. I love you. More.
Showing posts with label my amazing wife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my amazing wife. Show all posts
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Nikki turns . . . one year older
So I won't tell you how young my wife is--I guess it's none of your business. But on October 14, 2009 I can tell you some things about her life. It's been a life of commonness and miracles.
Commonness is boring? I don't think so. Nikki has never taken drugs, struggled with substance abuse, robbed banks or been violent (unless you count the way she pounds a lump of dough). She has never flunked out of school, been arrested or gotten a tattoo. It's funny because when people are young they often pursue the things that they think will make them happy (partying, momentary highs, education, friends, money, etc.). From the beginning Nikki has pursued what will bring real happiness (Christ, Scripture, truth-telling, faithfulness, loyalty, family and for some reason yet to be understood, me). It's ironic to me that our world has made the pursuit of immediate gratification "normal" (expected), and the pursuit of that which will bring true happiness "abnormal." Nikki didn't buy in. Her pursuit of real happiness in Christ is extraordinary--and it has changed my life.
Miracles? Where would I start to explain to you the miracles that God has done in and through Nikki for me? Nikki has shown me what character is all about. She has been non-negotiable on the most important things in life and has been pliable in areas where she has needed growth. She has silently prayed for me when I have been a jerk and has offered input when I've been ready. She has displayed submission and a quiet spirit fearlessly. She has carried silent burdens for herself and others to the throne of grace. She has wisely helped me raise children--and so much of their character is owed to her countless hours of discipline, education and patience. Her life has impacted my life, the life of our children and our church and community for Christ--for eternity. That is miraculous.
And she looks miraculous.
She's not perfect. Since this is my blog, I choose to emphasize the best in her, not just because it's her birthday but also because I love her. Love rejoices in the truth, and "covers" faults. The fact is that her love for me has done the same (covered my faults) exponentially. We're two very imperfect people rejoicing that "we are not yet what we will be, but, by God's grace we are not what we once were."
So today I celebrate the common and miraculous in Nikki! One day she will write a book, probably have her own business, and continue to turn this world upside-down with her love of God and me. If there are no books or her own business, it'll be okay--the miracles remain. Her life has incredible significance because she is willing to embrace being a wife, mother and humble servant of the most high God. My soul glories in this woman.
I wish I had words in my to express the way Nikki has impacted my life and loved me. I don't. But this I say: I'd rather have Nikki than all the riches of this world, silver and gold. I have found a good thing.
Happy Birthday, Nikki! I love you! You are my life in this world!
Commonness is boring? I don't think so. Nikki has never taken drugs, struggled with substance abuse, robbed banks or been violent (unless you count the way she pounds a lump of dough). She has never flunked out of school, been arrested or gotten a tattoo. It's funny because when people are young they often pursue the things that they think will make them happy (partying, momentary highs, education, friends, money, etc.). From the beginning Nikki has pursued what will bring real happiness (Christ, Scripture, truth-telling, faithfulness, loyalty, family and for some reason yet to be understood, me). It's ironic to me that our world has made the pursuit of immediate gratification "normal" (expected), and the pursuit of that which will bring true happiness "abnormal." Nikki didn't buy in. Her pursuit of real happiness in Christ is extraordinary--and it has changed my life.
Miracles? Where would I start to explain to you the miracles that God has done in and through Nikki for me? Nikki has shown me what character is all about. She has been non-negotiable on the most important things in life and has been pliable in areas where she has needed growth. She has silently prayed for me when I have been a jerk and has offered input when I've been ready. She has displayed submission and a quiet spirit fearlessly. She has carried silent burdens for herself and others to the throne of grace. She has wisely helped me raise children--and so much of their character is owed to her countless hours of discipline, education and patience. Her life has impacted my life, the life of our children and our church and community for Christ--for eternity. That is miraculous.
And she looks miraculous.
She's not perfect. Since this is my blog, I choose to emphasize the best in her, not just because it's her birthday but also because I love her. Love rejoices in the truth, and "covers" faults. The fact is that her love for me has done the same (covered my faults) exponentially. We're two very imperfect people rejoicing that "we are not yet what we will be, but, by God's grace we are not what we once were."
So today I celebrate the common and miraculous in Nikki! One day she will write a book, probably have her own business, and continue to turn this world upside-down with her love of God and me. If there are no books or her own business, it'll be okay--the miracles remain. Her life has incredible significance because she is willing to embrace being a wife, mother and humble servant of the most high God. My soul glories in this woman.
I wish I had words in my to express the way Nikki has impacted my life and loved me. I don't. But this I say: I'd rather have Nikki than all the riches of this world, silver and gold. I have found a good thing.
Happy Birthday, Nikki! I love you! You are my life in this world!
Monday, February 16, 2009
2009: Be My Valentine
Okay, so this pretty personal, I guess. This is more or less an open letter to my wife. Read on if you dare.
I see Valentine's Day has come and gone for 2009. Valentines Day began with you and I having a cup of coffee together and considering the demands of day two of the "Sweetheart Banquet" at church. We went out together as a whole family to re-load your supplies for the evening banquet. From noon on you prepared at church while the boys and I took care of some picture developing and then went home. I returned to church around 4:00. Then you and I stayed at church until 9:45 together. You basically spent the whole day (from 11:30 a.m. to 10:00 p.m.) ministering to other people's marriages and providing an opportunity to share the Gospel with many couples (by the way, a whole team of people also did this with Nikki--thanks everyone!).
As I encouraged everyone else to honor their Valentine, the reality is that I didn't do ANYTHING on that day to honor you.
For a while, I made the argument that everyday is Valentine's Day in our relationship. I know I'm really short-sighted to say that. Now that I see it in print it's somewhat embarrassing that it even crossed my mind. Sorry.
You are my everything in this world. God has used you to strengthen me, to challenge me and to truly spur me on to a greater love for Him and greater works in this world. You provide for me friendship, love, knowing that no matter how celebrated or misunderstood I feel in this world that you'll be there at the end of the day to share it all with me. You are an ever-present reminder and expression of God's grace to me. To throw out wordy expressions of love seems somewhat trite and insufficient. You are me--and there truly is no me without you.
You know. I love you.
I see Valentine's Day has come and gone for 2009. Valentines Day began with you and I having a cup of coffee together and considering the demands of day two of the "Sweetheart Banquet" at church. We went out together as a whole family to re-load your supplies for the evening banquet. From noon on you prepared at church while the boys and I took care of some picture developing and then went home. I returned to church around 4:00. Then you and I stayed at church until 9:45 together. You basically spent the whole day (from 11:30 a.m. to 10:00 p.m.) ministering to other people's marriages and providing an opportunity to share the Gospel with many couples (by the way, a whole team of people also did this with Nikki--thanks everyone!).
As I encouraged everyone else to honor their Valentine, the reality is that I didn't do ANYTHING on that day to honor you.
For a while, I made the argument that everyday is Valentine's Day in our relationship. I know I'm really short-sighted to say that. Now that I see it in print it's somewhat embarrassing that it even crossed my mind. Sorry.
You are my everything in this world. God has used you to strengthen me, to challenge me and to truly spur me on to a greater love for Him and greater works in this world. You provide for me friendship, love, knowing that no matter how celebrated or misunderstood I feel in this world that you'll be there at the end of the day to share it all with me. You are an ever-present reminder and expression of God's grace to me. To throw out wordy expressions of love seems somewhat trite and insufficient. You are me--and there truly is no me without you.
You know. I love you.
Monday, October 13, 2008
everything
My wife turns, well, the next year older tomorrow, October 14. To try to put into words what she means to me and how much I love her is impossible. I trip over my own words and never capture things correctly or beautifully enough to do her justice. I want to say what she means but it is like trying to draw the Grand Canyon when you live at the top of it. The grandeur of the real thing is real and immense and your drawing is quickly dwarfed.
Nikki is my strength, my joy and my life. She has defined my thoughts, my conscience and my breath. The thought of her impacts everything from which socks I wear (I really don't care if they match what I wear or each other) to wanting to give her reputation (I praise her in the gates). She is my dream and my best friend. She has nothing to live up to and she can fall from no pedestal, yet she is my all and impacts how clearly the sun shines on me. When things are right between us there are no clouds on earth, and when things are not right I search in vain for light. With her by my side I can persevere through tumult, and without her I can't imagine why I would keep going. She has grown sweeter to me with each passing moment.
God and His Word has brought us to this point. I do not worship her. Yet she has changed all that I am.
May I grant to her a portion of who she is to me, that in everything Christ might be glorified!
Happy Birthday, my love!
Nikki is my strength, my joy and my life. She has defined my thoughts, my conscience and my breath. The thought of her impacts everything from which socks I wear (I really don't care if they match what I wear or each other) to wanting to give her reputation (I praise her in the gates). She is my dream and my best friend. She has nothing to live up to and she can fall from no pedestal, yet she is my all and impacts how clearly the sun shines on me. When things are right between us there are no clouds on earth, and when things are not right I search in vain for light. With her by my side I can persevere through tumult, and without her I can't imagine why I would keep going. She has grown sweeter to me with each passing moment.
God and His Word has brought us to this point. I do not worship her. Yet she has changed all that I am.
May I grant to her a portion of who she is to me, that in everything Christ might be glorified!
Happy Birthday, my love!
Monday, February 11, 2008
The Gift
My wife is my best friend. It has not happened this way because we have personalities that click perfectly all the time--sometimes we can irritate each other. I love the fact that our personalities do mesh amazingly, but if that's our only criteria for best friendship, we will be best friends only for a season. After that my sinful will takes over, demanding too much and giving too little.
We have grown in our friendship a ton recently because our friendship has had to move way past the mutual compatibility test. Since our flying colors on that test change from day-to-day, we had to be best friends based on the covenant test. This test says, "I promise to do what is best for you all the time; even when I don't feel like it and even when I have to sacrifice to do it." Nikki is better at it than I.
Case in point: Sweetheart Banquet. Our church hosts a BIG couples' event (it's a big event, not an event for big couples . . .) every February. Our students sing, dance, serve, set-up amd tear down the whole event in order to provide parents the opportunity to relax and enjoy each other's company. We also strongly encourage these parents to invite their friends and this Banquet has become one of our student's avenues for outreach into the community. It's a big deal and my Nicole makes all the food happen for this two-night banquet. So when my favorite Pastor's Conference in the world (the Bethlehem Conference for Pastors) was being held in Minneapolis only days prior to Sweetheart Banquet, I was conflicted. I had resigned myself that it was simply not going to happen this year (or any year moving forward because since we moved the Sweetheart Banquet to a weekend earlier for 2008 [and liked it], it appears this calendar conflict will now be the norm). But Nikki all but insisted that I go.
She sees how the Conference rejuvenates and encourages my heart and wants that for me. Isn't that amazing? It is to me. In her most busy days of the year, as she takes care of the household, homeschools the children, and carries out her normal responsibilities, she adds a major, two-night, high-impact event and probably would have made the phone call for me to the Pastor's Conference had I not (not too grudgingly) done it myself.
Then, just days prior to these events I got ANOTHER phone call. A planning team I am on which plans and executes details for a 3,000-person student conference was having our evaluation and planning meeting at the venue we may move the conference to in a couple years. It was being held the weekend before the Sweetheart Banquet. The calendar result would have been my being tied up out of town 5 of the 7 days leading up to Sweetheart Banquet. I mentioned the planning meeting to Nikki after work one day. Her response? "Jon, you have to go. I've got things under control. Go for it."
Now I take no credit for this next decision. My woman has freed me up to do whatever is needed and would even cover aspects of MY leadership that was necessary for our Banquet. Even a dolt like me can see when he's about to make a grievous choice. There was no way I could attend both of these out-of-town events the week before our major outreach event. I chose to opt out of the planning meeting.
And so it is that Nikki is a blessing from Christ as she frees me up to whatever I need (or want) to do for the furtherance of the gospel (and plenty of my own stupid whims). The result? Her liberty makes me aschew lots of opportunities because I'd rather be at home with her. I want to be careful to not abuse her sweet liberty towards me. I want to do what is truly necessary and beneficial and then RACE home to her.
While the Sweetheart Banquet was a raging success no matter how we measure it (special thanks to my leaders Nikki, Brenda, and Lyn), my most blessed gift is not recognition from many of the banquet's success. My gift is my Sweetheart, herself. I celebrate Jesus Christ and His cross, which gives Nikki and me the power and the example to live out Jesus' love to one another. We'll never master it, but it's fun trying.
She is my Valentine.
We have grown in our friendship a ton recently because our friendship has had to move way past the mutual compatibility test. Since our flying colors on that test change from day-to-day, we had to be best friends based on the covenant test. This test says, "I promise to do what is best for you all the time; even when I don't feel like it and even when I have to sacrifice to do it." Nikki is better at it than I.
Case in point: Sweetheart Banquet. Our church hosts a BIG couples' event (it's a big event, not an event for big couples . . .) every February. Our students sing, dance, serve, set-up amd tear down the whole event in order to provide parents the opportunity to relax and enjoy each other's company. We also strongly encourage these parents to invite their friends and this Banquet has become one of our student's avenues for outreach into the community. It's a big deal and my Nicole makes all the food happen for this two-night banquet. So when my favorite Pastor's Conference in the world (the Bethlehem Conference for Pastors) was being held in Minneapolis only days prior to Sweetheart Banquet, I was conflicted. I had resigned myself that it was simply not going to happen this year (or any year moving forward because since we moved the Sweetheart Banquet to a weekend earlier for 2008 [and liked it], it appears this calendar conflict will now be the norm). But Nikki all but insisted that I go.
She sees how the Conference rejuvenates and encourages my heart and wants that for me. Isn't that amazing? It is to me. In her most busy days of the year, as she takes care of the household, homeschools the children, and carries out her normal responsibilities, she adds a major, two-night, high-impact event and probably would have made the phone call for me to the Pastor's Conference had I not (not too grudgingly) done it myself.
Then, just days prior to these events I got ANOTHER phone call. A planning team I am on which plans and executes details for a 3,000-person student conference was having our evaluation and planning meeting at the venue we may move the conference to in a couple years. It was being held the weekend before the Sweetheart Banquet. The calendar result would have been my being tied up out of town 5 of the 7 days leading up to Sweetheart Banquet. I mentioned the planning meeting to Nikki after work one day. Her response? "Jon, you have to go. I've got things under control. Go for it."
Now I take no credit for this next decision. My woman has freed me up to do whatever is needed and would even cover aspects of MY leadership that was necessary for our Banquet. Even a dolt like me can see when he's about to make a grievous choice. There was no way I could attend both of these out-of-town events the week before our major outreach event. I chose to opt out of the planning meeting.
And so it is that Nikki is a blessing from Christ as she frees me up to whatever I need (or want) to do for the furtherance of the gospel (and plenty of my own stupid whims). The result? Her liberty makes me aschew lots of opportunities because I'd rather be at home with her. I want to be careful to not abuse her sweet liberty towards me. I want to do what is truly necessary and beneficial and then RACE home to her.
While the Sweetheart Banquet was a raging success no matter how we measure it (special thanks to my leaders Nikki, Brenda, and Lyn), my most blessed gift is not recognition from many of the banquet's success. My gift is my Sweetheart, herself. I celebrate Jesus Christ and His cross, which gives Nikki and me the power and the example to live out Jesus' love to one another. We'll never master it, but it's fun trying.
She is my Valentine.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Wife's Day
A day for my wife. It sounds good. Everyone gets up to make the day special. Breakfast in bed and homemade cards. A gift that is meaningful. Ahhh.
But I got up 30 minutes later than I wanted to. I basically hadn't seen the boys for over two days (That's actually an excuse. I had 45 minutes with them on Saturday which I did not use wisely.). I got the two paper route boys up late, and it was their first Sunday paper delivery without dad. The potatoes burned, the eggs dried out while the bacon schnibbles were frying (it felt like we were eating bacon bits) and the toast had been popped up for about 25 minutes before anyone ate it. I went upstairs to awaken Nikki for her feast, but because of bad timing we had to eat without the two oldest boys (still on the paper route). I hadn't reminded the boys enough to make their cards (only 6 times), so only the youngest had his card ready (including me!).
At least the grape juice was good (but grape juice is not exactly her favorite).
Sigh. We did get her one sweet shirt that I think she really liked.
The rest of her day will be devoted to doing what she always does: consider the needs of everyone else. Let's get to the restaurant to honor her grandma and mom (and she loves to do that!). Let's not forget my mom (and she loves her like her own!). And such is the plight of this young mom. She's the one who honors others with thoughtfulness and time. She is honored only by a house full of guys--in their procrastinating "guy" ways.
So it's here that I tell the world that I need to keep getting better at this. To make her a meal that she loves. To make sure her table is full of all of us when it's time to eat. To make sure that the cards are PLANNED ahead of time. To make sure that she knows that we love her.
At least the coffee was good.
To my sweet woman, this man trasformed (transforming) says: I am not what I once was, but I am not yet who I will be. I am committed to becoming more Christlike. To think less of me and more of you. I long to love you with a better love that is dependent on more of him and less of me.
To you men out there: don't accept the status quo. Don't believe that you cannot change. Don't stop striving for less of you and more of Jesus Christ. Even if it seems you have miles to go. I'm right behind you.
Happy Mother's Day 2007!
But I got up 30 minutes later than I wanted to. I basically hadn't seen the boys for over two days (That's actually an excuse. I had 45 minutes with them on Saturday which I did not use wisely.). I got the two paper route boys up late, and it was their first Sunday paper delivery without dad. The potatoes burned, the eggs dried out while the bacon schnibbles were frying (it felt like we were eating bacon bits) and the toast had been popped up for about 25 minutes before anyone ate it. I went upstairs to awaken Nikki for her feast, but because of bad timing we had to eat without the two oldest boys (still on the paper route). I hadn't reminded the boys enough to make their cards (only 6 times), so only the youngest had his card ready (including me!).
At least the grape juice was good (but grape juice is not exactly her favorite).
Sigh. We did get her one sweet shirt that I think she really liked.
The rest of her day will be devoted to doing what she always does: consider the needs of everyone else. Let's get to the restaurant to honor her grandma and mom (and she loves to do that!). Let's not forget my mom (and she loves her like her own!). And such is the plight of this young mom. She's the one who honors others with thoughtfulness and time. She is honored only by a house full of guys--in their procrastinating "guy" ways.
So it's here that I tell the world that I need to keep getting better at this. To make her a meal that she loves. To make sure her table is full of all of us when it's time to eat. To make sure that the cards are PLANNED ahead of time. To make sure that she knows that we love her.
At least the coffee was good.
To my sweet woman, this man trasformed (transforming) says: I am not what I once was, but I am not yet who I will be. I am committed to becoming more Christlike. To think less of me and more of you. I long to love you with a better love that is dependent on more of him and less of me.
To you men out there: don't accept the status quo. Don't believe that you cannot change. Don't stop striving for less of you and more of Jesus Christ. Even if it seems you have miles to go. I'm right behind you.
Happy Mother's Day 2007!
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