The Gift

My wife is my best friend. It has not happened this way because we have personalities that click perfectly all the time--sometimes we can irritate each other. I love the fact that our personalities do mesh amazingly, but if that's our only criteria for best friendship, we will be best friends only for a season. After that my sinful will takes over, demanding too much and giving too little.

We have grown in our friendship a ton recently because our friendship has had to move way past the mutual compatibility test. Since our flying colors on that test change from day-to-day, we had to be best friends based on the covenant test. This test says, "I promise to do what is best for you all the time; even when I don't feel like it and even when I have to sacrifice to do it." Nikki is better at it than I.

Case in point: Sweetheart Banquet. Our church hosts a BIG couples' event (it's a big event, not an event for big couples . . .) every February. Our students sing, dance, serve, set-up amd tear down the whole event in order to provide parents the opportunity to relax and enjoy each other's company. We also strongly encourage these parents to invite their friends and this Banquet has become one of our student's avenues for outreach into the community. It's a big deal and my Nicole makes all the food happen for this two-night banquet. So when my favorite Pastor's Conference in the world (the Bethlehem Conference for Pastors) was being held in Minneapolis only days prior to Sweetheart Banquet, I was conflicted. I had resigned myself that it was simply not going to happen this year (or any year moving forward because since we moved the Sweetheart Banquet to a weekend earlier for 2008 [and liked it], it appears this calendar conflict will now be the norm). But Nikki all but insisted that I go.

She sees how the Conference rejuvenates and encourages my heart and wants that for me. Isn't that amazing? It is to me. In her most busy days of the year, as she takes care of the household, homeschools the children, and carries out her normal responsibilities, she adds a major, two-night, high-impact event and probably would have made the phone call for me to the Pastor's Conference had I not (not too grudgingly) done it myself.

Then, just days prior to these events I got ANOTHER phone call. A planning team I am on which plans and executes details for a 3,000-person student conference was having our evaluation and planning meeting at the venue we may move the conference to in a couple years. It was being held the weekend before the Sweetheart Banquet. The calendar result would have been my being tied up out of town 5 of the 7 days leading up to Sweetheart Banquet. I mentioned the planning meeting to Nikki after work one day. Her response? "Jon, you have to go. I've got things under control. Go for it."

Now I take no credit for this next decision. My woman has freed me up to do whatever is needed and would even cover aspects of MY leadership that was necessary for our Banquet. Even a dolt like me can see when he's about to make a grievous choice. There was no way I could attend both of these out-of-town events the week before our major outreach event. I chose to opt out of the planning meeting.

And so it is that Nikki is a blessing from Christ as she frees me up to whatever I need (or want) to do for the furtherance of the gospel (and plenty of my own stupid whims). The result? Her liberty makes me aschew lots of opportunities because I'd rather be at home with her. I want to be careful to not abuse her sweet liberty towards me. I want to do what is truly necessary and beneficial and then RACE home to her.

While the Sweetheart Banquet was a raging success no matter how we measure it (special thanks to my leaders Nikki, Brenda, and Lyn), my most blessed gift is not recognition from many of the banquet's success. My gift is my Sweetheart, herself. I celebrate Jesus Christ and His cross, which gives Nikki and me the power and the example to live out Jesus' love to one another. We'll never master it, but it's fun trying.

She is my Valentine.