I LOVE church

You hear it all the time, don't you? "I love God, but I hate church." Can I tell you quickly before you stop reading that that statement is self-righteous and hypocritical. It's ironic to me that people who hate church usually hate church because of the self-righteousness and hypocrisy they see "at church" when they are participating in their own objection by making the judgment.

I LOVE church. I love people who have a strong preference for music because they always have an amazing story of how God worked in this world (usually about the time that their favorite music was popular). I love mistakes during the service because it reminds us that God will be satisfied with no pre-packaged, rote presentation. I love when the projected words are on the wrong screen because it gives a chance to improvise. I love when an older woman's wig moves on her head during a service because it reminds me how much she cares about what she looks like today and how much I don't. I love when the person in front says "greet someone around you" and I get to shake the hand of someone I never met, and I love it more when I shake the hand of someone who knows I'm a jerk (and maybe has even "judged me") but now we worked out and he still loves me. I also love it when I see the person across the room whom I have hurt shaking someone else's hand--it reminds me that I have work to do. I love conversations in the hallway with the neediest person (again)--the one whose been living all week off the stuff we talked about last week. I love when kids cry out during the service because children are a blessing from the Lord. I (usually) love it when some of my plans are interrupted with a surprise--an urgent need--because when I look back at things later, it is so often the hand of God which seems to be interrupting. I love brokenness because it so often leads to healing. I love open and far-reaching confession because faith and repentance are required for salvation. I love the bad coffee that churches are famous for because it reminds me that church should stick to Scripture (and community) and let Starbucks make the coffee. I love the huger pangs I get during the third point because it reminds me that man shall not live on bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the Word of God. I love (most) confrontations because it gives me (or the person being confronted; or both of us) opportunity to change and grow. I love giving grace to others because I love receiving it from them. I love singing that one praise song 3 weeks in a row because then I know the heart of the song leader better (that's his favorite right now). I love how diverse and unique all the people of the church are because it provides ministries to all sorts of different people. I love Saturdays because I can't wait for Sundays. I love walking with friends through their dark valleys (this is one of the greatest privileges about leading in a church); I love when friends walk my dark valleys with me. I love the Word of God because it does not change.

So, ya. In a week of unbelievably heavy circumstances and troubles (in the church!!), "I love the church!" And I am so glad that Christ loves her more.

If you have been hurt in a church, welcome to the club. I wonder if we would each ask the better question, "Who have I hurt through or at church." Since you are a priest in Christ, and therefore a "church leader," I implore you to ask that question before you miss another week of fellowship. If you are "in Christ" then you are the church. We are all hypocrites who have been forgiven and are being changed into the image of Christ. One cannot "love God" but "hate" his bride.

I LOVE church!!

Summer

Summer is a roller coaster of highs and strange lows. No matter how I try it's in the summer that my schedule is interrupted most, my focus most challenged and my intentions to spend more time with my family tested. I usually start in mid-May telling my adoring wife, "after graduation things will let up." Then, as graduation approaches I tell my sons, "after the summer missions trip things will get better." And then, in mid-July, I tell myself that the summer is almost gone and nothing has changed (do I hear the "American Dream" song by Casting Crowns playing in the background?).

I used to take summers very hard and very personally for other reasons. Summer was also the time when I would notice how "my" former high school students were struggling to put and keep Christ first in their lives. I'd see some struggle with apathy, some with longing for acceptance and seeking their identity OUTSIDE of Christ and some, well with some I'd simply completely lose contact altogether.

That part of the roller coaster, with God's help, is actually different now. Several college and post-college students are making amazing progress in their faith and trust in Christ and I realize (mostly) what a buffoon I've been to feel like a defeated failure when they'd fall. That is as stupid as me trying to take credit when they soar on wings like eagles.

Our former students are sinful saints like me and Nik. I take no credit for anything they're doing. But I've spent the last several hours unbelievably humbled and captivated by the way many of them are walking with Christ.

• One young man tours the country with his wife as they perform music to reach college students for Christ on campuses. They were in Egypt earlier this year evangelizing college students! I'm praying for you, Ryan and Holly.
  
• One of my best friends in all the world began helping me (with his sweet, sweet wife) and my wife in youth ministry 10 years ago. After a decade full of God's leading and grace, he and his wife moved to Alaska where he serves as "Pastor of Discipleship" in a Christ-exalting church. Torrey & Clare, you're setting the pace!
  
• One young man recently accepted a position as a pastor of youth at a church in Pennsylvania. First he's going to spend the summer helping me with a college Bible study and then I'm going to perform his wedding to a wonderful and godly young woman who will walk with him all of his days on this earth. I'm praying for you, Bennet and Holly!
  
• One young man continues to help lead his Campus "Cru" ministry at UW Whitewater. Go John!
  
• One young man has fallen head-over-heels in love with a woman who is helping him keep his eyes fixed on Jesus Christ. I'm holding you up, David.
  
• 11 young people (yes eleven!) are mentoring junior high students right here at our church this summer. That is one of the greatest sentences I have ever written. I am praising God for Jason, Danielle, Kyle, Alissa, Maggie, Grace, Sama, Eric, Joe, Craig, Heather and some of those mentioned above.
  
• Several former high school students are dedicating their entire summer to serving Christ in a camping ministry setting. How many hundreds will they impact?? Keep your eyes on Christ, Steph, Kirsten and Cooper.
• One young couple is considering full-time camping ministry as they serve God in amazing ways at their home church in Pennsylvania. We love you, Josh and Lauren.
  
• One high school student is teaching my son to play bass (thanks Si!) and another is helping me coach another son's baseball team (the Lewis boys have come to the rescue).
• One young lady is going to the Dominican Republic to teach at a Christian school. Go Kari!
• One young lady was hired by our own church to coordinate our entire contemporary music ministry. You are doing a great job, Charissa.
  
• One young lady served as a missionary RN in Cambodia for several years and is now considering her next steps. Way to go, Anna! Another young lady is serving Christ as she gets two years of nursing experience in St. Louis before looking to take her gifts and skills to the mission field. Move safely and keep your eyes on Christ, Sarah!
• Another young woman is serving the Lord as a full-time missionary to Muslims with her husband. We're upholding you in prayer, Matt & Kate!
  
• One amazing couple who served with us for several years in our Junior High ministry is finishing up their formal training in just one semester before raising money to go full-time and permanently to serve the Lord as missionaries. Have fun in Cali, Ryan and Melissa. Can't wait to see you soon!
  
• One young couple is completing their medical education in Arizona and may someday be full-time medical missionaries. She's a PA and he's an MD (soon). We're praying for you, Paul and Allison!
• One couple is serving in their church (the young man as an ELDER!) in inner-city Chicago. We praise God for Pete and Hana.
  
• One young couple is raising their amazing one-year-old son as they minister to the people of East Boston. I am so thankful for you, Matt and Pam!
• One couple serves in amazing ways at a boys ranch in Arkansas. We love you Jeff and Leigh Ann!
• Another young man has recently begun to think about the possibility of serving in the US Armed forces as a chaplain. Keep your eyes on Jesus, Zach!
  
• One young man is using his music to glorify God profoundly. Oh, make that three young men. Keep honoring Him, Zach and Nick and John (and Liz).
• One young lady has been a full-time missionary in Mexico for several years. Her sister is following in her footsteps! We love you, Carmen.
• There's another couple in Arizona seeking to raise their kids in the ways of the Lord. Keep it up, Zach and Sarah!
  
• 40 of us are going this summer to serve Salt Lake City, Utah for a week.
• Many former graduates from our church in Columbus, OH walk with the Lord! Three are serving the Lord "full time" (Ric, Brianna and Stacey!!).
  
• Shall I mention all of the others who are walking with Christ in such a way that AMAZES ME??? I named some and then realized that there was no way to get everyone.

So like I said, I take ZERO credit for any of this. Maybe this is just a reminder to me that when someone is struggling I must simply leave it with the Lord. When someone is succeeding, that is of the Lord. May we burn out for Jesus Christ!!!!

1 decade later

My wife and I moved to the city in which we live 10 years ago. Together we prayerfully accepted an offer for me to be a pastor to students. We have now served in this position for an entire decade. We have experienced some amazing milestones through the years: the birth of our third son, the coming of age of our understanding of what real "ministry" is all about (and it still grows), our tenth and fifteenth wedding anniversaries (among others), an earned Master's degree, and best of all, struggling through hard stuff in life gladly with the people of God. We love it here! Unless God does some kind of miraculous moving of our hearts, we may never leave (count this a threat!).

I read the statistics all the time about youth pastors and their tenure. They used to say that youth pastors stay in a church for about 2 years on average. In recent days I have read that their stays are actually briefer than that--some statistics now say a year or less.

God has truly been good to us to provide for us a place we love, people we love, and people who love us. So I begin this post by stating two things clearly: God's grace has sustained us and God's call on us has not changed. Some pastors truly are "entrepreneurs"--they start ministries, get them off the ground and then move on (biblically, these people have the gift of evangelism, I would say). So you hear me, right? We are the kind who has been called to stay, and, in particular, called to stay HERE.

So people ask questions about my role here all the time. Some of the questions are too silly to even write here, but one of them recurs regularly: "What is the key to staying in one church for a long time?" I start with the above answer ("We are made to stay, and have been called to stay HERE."), but they sometimes ask me to elaborate. If you want to stop reading here, feel free. If you care to see my responses, read on . . .

1. Plan to stay. Sounds a bit ridiculous, doesn't it? We have always spoken of staying. We made long-term plans and goals within our church community. We used words that communicated with the people that we are staying (get rid of any conception of "us" and "them" in your vocabulary as soon as humanly possible--it's just "us"). Don't pick fights over lame topics of the moment, or choose sides haphazardly, use words that will stand in 10 and 20 years. Choose the side of wisdom and Scripture, not who happens to be your best friend (right now).
   
2. Connect with people from every generation. I believe the biggest mistake that youth pastors make is prioritizing their relationships with students in the church above their relationships with the student's parents. That's a recipe for a short stay. Older people in the church often think the youth pastor is the one who acts goofy, dresses too casually, turns the music too loud and spends way too much of the church's money on stuff that is passing away. The truth is, we earned that stereotype, guys. With persistence, patience and sound character, we can forge a new stereotype.
3. Serve the parents first, not the students. Obviously, we are serving Christ first. We are serving the elders and senior staff who oversee us second. We are serving the parents third. We are serving the students fourth. For my purposes here, I want us to see that we must serve the parents before we serve the students. Set your program around the family's time and money concerns. Pursue relationships with dads. If you influence a generation of parents you will have significant, Christ-honoring influence over their kids for years to come (and isn't that your passion?). If you serve the students first you will not last long, and your influence for the kingdom will end the day you leave your post.
4. Pick your fights. No method (not even yours) is worth fighting over. If you think "it will work" but your boss doesn't, submit. I think it is quite ironic that we teach the students to obey their parents (I hope we still teach this), if we ourselves refuse to submit to (Romans 13:1) the authority over us. How two-faced and hypocritical we can be. And it leads to a short stay in ministry. If there is doctrinal error to fight to correct, make sure you have a specific chapter-and-verse (along with the correct interpretation) and then go in humbly and gently.
5. Change your expectations. Paul had a list of expectations that was a mile long--of himself. The list he had for the churches (regarding meeting his needs) was very, very short. If you have tons of expectations of "the church," you probably won't last real long--not at the church you are serving now, and not a the next one, either.
   

Seems pretty trite and simplistic, doesn't it? There's nothing too profound.

To the flock God has called Nikki and me: we love serving alongside you. God has been gracious to call us to you and with you. Thank-you for your gracious patience, your prayerful support and your helpful insights. May God continue to light our way and powerfully build His church through and in us. We love you!

The problem with the church

That's a hefty title isn't it? Here's my thought for the day (inspired as I was reading my brother-in-law's doctoral dissertation): with all of the shortcomings of her, the church is dramatically and totally loved with the everlasting love of the Son of God. Christ didn't die for my neighborhood or me "alone." (By the way, if I hear the statement that "if you were the only person on the face of the earth, Jesus would have died for you anyway"--where did anyone ever get that and why do we say that?? it's ridiculous because it's hypothetical and not supported by Scripture.) He died for His bride, the Church.

The problem with the church is that I don't love her enough. With my every desire to redeem her, to build her, to love her, my love for her is not enough. It pales in comparison with the love I should have.

I'm through treating the church as if she's optional. I've been through for a long time with poking my embarrassing critical remarks about her. I love Christ's bride with all my heart. I will use my weak giftedness to build her up, teach her and proclaim the gospel in her midst in obedience to the Lord's command. To love Christ is to love His bride.

Where she falls short, pray for her. Where there is sin cover and rebuke it in love.

My friend, love your Christ-exalting, Bible-saturated, ministry-minded, Spirit-led, service-loving gathering of believers--shortcomings and all. Christ does.