So "real"

Did you ever have someone say that to you or about you? "You're so real." And in our postmodern world of touchy-feely, "real" has somehow become the most-valued characteristic that exists.

Now I'm all for "real." I am all for an honest evaluation of where one really is spiritually. I don't want pretense or church game-playing. That's all a waste of time. But many times, people go beyond this idea of real and embrace something much more earthy than honesty.

Examples? They abound: "Please do not . . ."

• "Hold me accountable to get victory over my sin issue, instead, tell me that everyone struggles with sins like that . . ."
• "Tell me to stop gossiping, instead, take my side in my dispute . . ."
• "Show me the victory in Christ, instead, tell me that you understand how hard it is for me . . ."
  
• "Hold back the details of your problem (Proverbs 25:2), instead tell all the juicy details . . ."
• "Expect me to rejoice with those who rejoice (Romans 12:15), instead, I will choose only to mourn with those mourning . . ."

"Being real" is SOMETIMES code for loving juicy details, living in bitterness and even living a life of self-absorption--there, I said it. (And this comes from a guy who is way "open-book" with his feelings and experiences.)

I value being honest and sharing life. I am a HUGE community guy who emphasizes "being" over "doing"--sometimes to a fault. I love being together, sharing one's heart and coming clean with people. But I also know people who are so "real" that they never change. In fact, I sometimes use the "real" excuse to excuse my own selfish heart. Do you ever struggle with that?

Here's an alternative or two:

• "Before speaking my mind on a subject, examine Scripture thoroughly." Sometimes it's me who needs to change, sometimes my words should be stopped and sometimes my opinion should simply be kept to myself. God sometimes calls real, "disobedience."
  
• "Before speaking of someone else, examine Scripture thoroughly." God WANTS US to "CONCEAL" matters sometimes (Proverbs 25:2). He does NOT value sharing all my juicy details just because the world around me has become enamored with failures and problems. I'm not saying we LIE, I'm saying that sometimes we should take our troubles straight to God and leave them there--alone. God sometimes calls real, "unbelief."
  
• "Before speaking at all, examine Scripture thoroughly." God sometimes calls real, "complaining."
  

God does not understand my sin, my constant failure and my unwillingness to change. He doesn't. He never will. He doesn't idly twiddle his thumbs while I share my constant failure with my "real" friends. God's love and grace has provided forgiveness and a way to change. Christ is the victory through faith.

So I love "real" people. People who USED TO gossip as a way of life but have found victory in Christ and are changing (though they're still not perfect), people who USED TO be lust-addicts as a way of life but have found victory in Christ and are changing (though they're still not perfect), people who USED TO be angry as a way of life but have found victory in Christ and are changing (though they're still not perfect), people who USED TO be bitter as a way of life but have found victory in Christ and are changing (though they're still not perfect), and people who USED TO lie as a way of life but have found victory in Christ and are changing (though they're still not perfect).

When Paul wrote about his past in Philippians 3, he didn't write much about the real details. He emphasized the "ideal" truth that he lived for gaining Christ, having the fellowship of Christ's sufferings and even becoming like Him in His death. Is that "real?" Absolutely.

Next time someone is "real" with you, ask yourself, "Are they (am I) using God's grace as a means to continue in their (my) sin?" (Hebrews 10:26; Romans 6:1-4; 1 John 3:6-9). If so, be real enough to challenge them, in love, to change.

So, be "real," but REALLY CHANGE! Otherwise, Christ's sacrifice is trampled underfoot and we make his cross and grace a mockery. Let's glorify his cross and grace by really changing into His image by His Spirit.

I want more!

Sounds pretty American, doesn't it? More square feet, more horsepower, and more french fries in the value meal. More of everything!

But more of almost anything has always left me empty. More money? More friends? More days to live on this earth? I don't know. Is that what I really want? I definitely want to stay and experience life with family, love my wife, raise our kids, and stay "here," don't get me wrong.

But this life, broken and finite, doesn't offer anything that truly brings undying satisfaction. Even the sacred Christian answer, "relationships," don't bring satisfaction just because you have "more." I am reminded that Jesus wept when he had learned that Lazarus died. Why? As I've said in other posts, He knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead in like, 3 minutes. Why weep? Maybe because he knew that even if he did a MIRACLE, raising the dead to life, Lazarus was going to die AGAIN in a couple years. Maybe Jesus wept because he knew HE was going to have to die. I don't think so, though. I think he wept because sin and death were NOT the original plan. As Plantinga says it, this is "Not the way it's supposed to be" (check out his book, A Breviary of Sin).

My point? This world has NOTHING in it that will bring satisfaction to your heart and soul if you get more of it. More life? Paul said, "If I stay or go, it's all good" (my paraphrase). If I stay (he said), it is going to mean MINISTRY. Serving. Giving. Dying. Suffering. Building up the church.

One day we will see Him face to Face. No more weeping. No more jealousy, anger or pain. No more bitterness. No more misunderstandings, racism or selfishness. No more pride.

And so that's what I find my heart LONGING for today. More giving! More Dying! And that only takes place as I give Christ more of my fallen, broken, finite heart. Give it over to Him! Want what He wants! Less of me and more of You!

So this is what I want more of today. I want to give more of me away to God by pursuing a knowledge of Him and participating in the fellowship of suffering so that Christ will be glorified.

Why am I so BAD at this?

It's the only "more" that is "living water"--a fountain--inside me. It's the only "more" that satisfies.

Help me pursue You today, Lord!

God chooses

I have recently enjoyed some lively discussion on the concept of God's free will and man's. The debate comes down to this: In the end, who is sovereign: God or me? You may not like to see it that plainly, but that's the debate. Did Jesus die just hoping that someone would trust him alone, or did he know who his atoning work would justify? I will make a few brief comments here and then copy a note I wrote to a friend after that.

Objection #1: "If God chooses then there is no reason for World Missions."
This argument says, "Hey, if they are going to get saved no matter what then I have no motivation to go." To that I say "Huh?" Motivation #1: God told us to go! Motivation #2: It's not just wishful thinking to think there are people in Genovia who will come to Christ (if I work hard enough and say all the right things)--no! God has WILLED that people of every tribe and tongue come to him. I go tell them in faith, not in my flesh. The great motivation to GO commit our lives to missions is that God has chosen some of every tribe and nation. Woooooo.

Objection #2: "If God chooses then why pray?"
This argument goes like this: "Since God has chosen those who will be saved and it is determined, why pray?" To that I say, "Huh??" If God allows uncle Jimmy to be sovereign over his salvation (by having the final say regarding if he is going to come to Christ or not), then I'd see your logic. Since Jimmy has "free will" and will ultimately decide to choose to follow God or not--don't pray. The logic: "God will not act decisively in any way to save Jimmy." Therefore, your logic is correct: pray to Jimmy not for him. But if God can act decisively and save jimmy, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! God is sovereign. Woooooo.

Okay, here is my response to my amazing friend. Feel free to comment.

Hi Aaron, great note, and great thoughts. I'm not fond of everything he does, but RC Sproul has a great synopsis of this concept in "Grace Unknown." I'm editing this note as I go to make it fit--sorry for my brevity . . . 1. Though God is not "willing" that any should perish, that does not mean that he has chosen everyone to be saved. There are different meanings to the word "willing." The first is God's determined will (like "every knee WILL bow")--this is a fact. The second is God prescriptive will (God wills that none should bear false witness--but we ALL do). The third, and I believe the meaning Peter has in mind has to do with his desires. God doesn't WANT anyone to go to hell, but that doesn't mean he has chosen everyone. For instance, you don't WANT your amazing new baby to face pain and wars and disease, but you know she will. 2. God himself tells us that the majority of people will not come to be with Him in heaven--which rules out universalism. Jesus said in Matthew that "many" walk the broad road to destruction, but "few" will walk the narrow way to life. "Many" will say to him "Lord, Lord," and he will reply "Depart from me."

3. As you are implying, if we accept the concept of a limited atonement, we aren't saying that Jesus' atonement was not SUFFICIENT for every sin of all time (of course it IS!), but that it is not EFFICIENT (or intended) to cover every sin of all time. In the end, limited atonement simply teaches that Jesus did not die in vain, merely hoping that someone would believe, instead, he knew going in that his atoning work would accomplish exactly what he intended it to accomplish. 4. About works, we must work. No one can say that Christ has made him or her alive but not work--otherwise, James says, their faith is dead and useless. So here we simply come to a logical sequence. The only sequence that makes sense is God quickens (gives spiritual life), we respond with faith and subsequent works. The great illustration: (Ephesians 2 and) Lazarus. What did he contribute to his "life"? Nothing but his corpse (which God supplied). How did he come to life? Obeying the voice he heard AFTER HE ALREADY WAS MADE ALIVE.

5. Logical contradictions. Since it is ALL of grace and all who are genuinely saved MUST work, we are here at an impasse that none of my college profs or favorite philosophers want to rest. I take great delight to rest here. These two concepts are not resolved in Scripture, nor in any writings from the dawn of time until this one (and I won't even try). And we simply accept that they are both true: it is all of God' grace and we must work if our faith is genuine. In closing, let me encourage you to re-consider one phrase you used above. You said some are destined to heaven and some to hell. Let us remember together that we have all first chosen hell. We have gravely and selfishly rebelled against God in his heaven with our selfish and hateful ways. From the outset we have all chosen to hate God and to be doomed with Satan to everlasting judgment. So for each person who receives grace upon grace to understand and repent from his self-destructive shadow of a life, all the glory goes to Christ. He has graciously chosen to redeem SOME, and that is the fuel for my undying passion and love for him! I can love him only because he first loved me. I love wrestling these things with you! Jon

The Rush

Everyone wants a new experience. Some want to see the world, some want to climb a mountain, some want to sky dive or drive fast or master a trick on a skateboard (seriously), or "feel" something by drinking or smoking or snorting. Hey, that's the world you live in. You and your student struggles with this at some level. To experience, to feel is to be. Incidentally, this is also why young people have such a hard time overcoming sexual temptations--but that's a post for another day.

But, as Huey Lewis pointed out 25 years ago, we "want a new drug, one that does what it should." All of the benefits with none of the side effects.

God intends for you to have a "rush" in following him. Illustrations:

• Your neighbor stops in for a chat over coffee. You've been praying for an opportunity to finally speak eternal words to her and she just shared how empty her life feels since her mom died. You feel the endorphins kick-in and know this is an opportunity from God: RUSH.
• During the Sunday sermon last week you were convicted that your anger towards your teen aged son is sin. Your impatience is completely self-focused and based upon your expectations of his performance. You were reminded in that quiet moment that God's expectations of your behavior are often met with your own willful disobedience. Now it's Tuesday night and the trash is definitely NOT out yet. Will you boil over (again) or bring your thoughts back to Scripture?: RUSH.
• You can't think of the word "father" without flashbacks and your heart beginning to race inside. You've told yourself that you've forgiven him, but this summer is another reunion that you're dreading. The dread grows everyday, and those closest to you are the ones suffering because you get more irritable and harder to understand all the time. Discussions about the reunion always end in anger. You know that Scripture helps you understand that forgiveness is a conscious decision to no longer hold something against someone, and that you are only enabled to do that because God has forgiven you so much. You are faced with a reality: forgiveness is a choice that must be chosen again and again. Will you?: RUSH.
• You know that your relationship is inappropriate. But it feels (old drug) good. The way you make each other feel must be right! But every time you make the choice you live for hours and days knowing that you are showing the world around you that you really don't take God seriously. In the quiet moments you make the decision to clean things up--and this time for good. You'll see each other tonight (again). What you gonna do? RUSH.
• If your spouse just did things your way, and in your timing, your marriage would get so much better right? Peter could not have been serious (could he?) when he said that a godly wife will make headway with her unbelieving husband if she just lives out God's grace and learns to take her objections to God instead of her husband. He's planning another summer of softball and boating. RUSH.

You get the idea. What if the big RUSH of the day for me had little to do with beating another level in Guitar Hero and had more to do with allowing the fruit of the Spirit to be tended and nurtured in my every choice? What if I were so consumed with this goal that it caused me to see again how far I am from that goal and how much I need God to work in my spirit in order to feel the rush? What if the people around me began to see little changes that show that there's less of me and more of him? What if my desires toward spending money (and giving it to others) were challenged as I ordered my life to live simply and give generously? What if the most exciting thing that happened this week was that I remembered to pray for my wife because I knew she had a hard day coming up? What if I left work early one day to go home and talk to my kids?

RUSH.

Natural and Supernatural

Everyone of us wants to be someone's Superman. From the moment we figure out how to ride a bicycle with one hand (or climb a tree or do a penny-drop off the monkey bars) we have been calling out, "look at me, look at me." We said it to anyone who would listen, but we saved our loudest shouts for attention for our parents; "Look at me, Dad." The truth is, many of us live our whole lives with that particular phrase still calling out of our subconscious.

And then we have a family and every eye is on us at all times. What will dad do? How will he act? How will he react? How well does he support the family? Can I spend any time with him? Does he live by what he says he believes? And the dream has finally come true. Someone is watching--all the time. They are "looking at me."

As a man transforming I am trying to keep several things in mind as they watch. Here's a couple of the highlights:

• They care more about what I am doing when I DON'T ask them to watch me. When we were kids we would get the stunt ready and then ask for people to watch. But my wife rightfully cares a lot more about what I do and how I live in between stunts.
• If I am not transforming they will not be transformed. In other words, if it's all about talk, nobody will change. They need to SEE the change in ME before they understand what change is all about.
• The most supernatural powers are in my everyday character (as Jesus shines through). Who cares if I can provide a good living if I can't play with my kids? Who cares if I enter some Hall of Fame if my kids never really knew me. Who cares if I affect change at the corporate level if I wasn't patient with my wife? Nobody. But everybody important to me is watching. (In 1 Corinthians 13, Scripture says (paraphrased) who cares if you can move a mountain (like Superman)? What people really need is for you to move a mountain WITH LOVE. Then you have something.)
  

It's ironic to me that many homes are broken or hurting because all eyes are finally on the boy wonder (sorry, I didn't mean to change metaphors). As all eyes are on superman between stunts pressure mounts. Then some go looking to be superman for someone who is not looking so closely. Some come to the conclusion that they can be someone's saver if others just don't expect too much and don't look too closely. Maybe that's why Superman was always making a getaway after the save.

I want to invite the people closest to me to examine me more closely and know me better.

So one of my goals for this summer is to focus on my own submission to God in the area of my character. I want to talk less and listen more. I want to think less of my own needs and really think about the needs of my wife and kids and neighbors. I want to make time for celebrations of others--not just myself.

If I give less and less of my own attempts to impress this world, maybe this man transforming will be somebody's superman.

All of this poetry, of course, hinges on the one thing: the one and only Savior truly living in me to make me a man transformed.

Man Transformed--An Introduction

So why call this blog "Man Transformed"?

I've always heard that a leopard will never change it's spots, and you "can't teach an old dog new tricks." And I work with people all the time who acknowledge that they need to change. Some of us need to learn to work harder, some us need to lose weight, or stop an addiction. For some of us it's life and death issues like choosing to forgive, or identifying how selfish our anger is.

So I figured that people (and men in particular) need to understand that change is not only possible, it's necessary (required, commanded). Many of my posts will be about obeying the principles of Scripture--and I am going to try to frame those principles in stories and inspiration. But make no mistake: death brings change; and change brings life. I'll keep coming back to that concept as we go.

For today, I am planting the seed. You are not a leopard or an old dog; neither am I. We must change. Some men (in particular) move through life thinking and often saying, "that's just the way I am." And our wives and our children suffer through our pride. Some of them live a death in this world at the whims of their unchanging men.

It's not that you can't change (or shouldn't). The truth is, "I won't change." Say that out loud with me! When I use any excuse to remain the same as I've always been what I am really saying is "I will not change. I like the misery and selfishness that I live with more than the humility and hard work that a change would produce. I am afraid I won't know how, or I'll fail (again). So why try?"

It would be better to die right now (literally) than to go through life as you and I are without changing for the next 20, 40 or 60 years. Think about that. But, it would be better still to choose to change today.

Stop saying (as I have said, and still often find myself saying), "I can't change." At least be honest. If you will not change, say, "I refuse to change. I refuse to see the needs of others around me. I ultimately refuse to obey God. I will not change."

This will be the key concept around which this blog is organized. I must change. I must be a changed son, changed dad, changed worker, changed husband, changed man.

You and I are called to be a man transformed.