The sins of your youth

Second and third generation Christians often struggle mightily in their faith. I suppose there's a boatload of reasons for this, but the most important reasons seem to be what was allowed and approved of in their youth by the child's parent and by the child himself.

This is why an adult who comes to faith in Christ is often at an advantage in some ways in terms of their passion for Christ. Their family life was often a mess, but at least if their parent made no claim of faith in Christ they can understand why their childhood was so disappointing and/or painful. So they come to Christ as an adult and reason, "My parents never knew God." And they are often free to pursue God whole-heartedly.

But when a child is raised by parents who believe God, but who are "lukewarm," the child will develop their own sins (in their youth) that are developed AFTER their profession of faith. This is a huge problem. If they see their professing dads or moms walking in defeat in terms of anger, immorality, narcissism, addictions, unforgiveness, bitterness, joylessness, apathy, anxiety, meanness, harshness, gluttony, materialism, gossip, lying, and purposelessness then they will say in their hearts, "God is insufficient to meet the longings of my parents' hearts. I will therefore need to meet the needs of my own heart outside of God."

And they will take the bents of their hearts and develop "sins in their youth." The trouble with this is that these habits grow up with the individual. The child--even after this supposed conversion--makes room for sin. And the longer this sin is left unattended it grows and progresses to maturity. JC Ryle said that a boy could bend an oak sapling, but 100 men cannot uproot a mature oak; and so it is with the sins of our youth.

All sin is death to the soul, but the minimized and accepted sins of our youth are growing up with us, potentially WITH our faith or maybe INSTEAD OF our faith. What to do?

Parents: seek the Lord hotly with all of your heart. Read and meditate upon and memorize and love and live God's Word so that your children see the integrity of your life in Christ. This is no perfect guarantor, but it is certainly the crying need of the children in families that claim to seek Christ.

Children: do not minimize and justify and accept the idea that "boys will be [sinful] boys," or that we must lower standards for children. If you accept this behavior in your youth (especially after a profession of faith), you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of difficulty in uprooting the behavior or lie. Again, it is Ryle who said that true repentance is never too late, but late repentance is rarely true. Repent today, while God's grace is available, and live a life of repentance.

Missing out? Yes you will miss out on what the world around you seems to be enjoying. The deceit of "personal freedom," the prison of grudge-holding, and the paralysis of randomness. But the life you want--leading a family sacrificially, peace with God, and purposefulness--is a life that casts off those things. You will miss out on allowing your oak to grow crooked. That's a good thing to miss.

For those of us who still have "sins of our youth" that developed habits in us--habits that we are still un-learning. There is hope!


Psalm 25:7
"Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord."