I want more!

Sounds pretty American, doesn't it? More square feet, more horsepower, and more french fries in the value meal. More of everything!

But more of almost anything has always left me empty. More money? More friends? More days to live on this earth? I don't know. Is that what I really want? I definitely want to stay and experience life with family, love my wife, raise our kids, and stay "here," don't get me wrong.

But this life, broken and finite, doesn't offer anything that truly brings undying satisfaction. Even the sacred Christian answer, "relationships," don't bring satisfaction just because you have "more." I am reminded that Jesus wept when he had learned that Lazarus died. Why? As I've said in other posts, He knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead in like, 3 minutes. Why weep? Maybe because he knew that even if he did a MIRACLE, raising the dead to life, Lazarus was going to die AGAIN in a couple years. Maybe Jesus wept because he knew HE was going to have to die. I don't think so, though. I think he wept because sin and death were NOT the original plan. As Plantinga says it, this is "Not the way it's supposed to be" (check out his book, A Breviary of Sin).

My point? This world has NOTHING in it that will bring satisfaction to your heart and soul if you get more of it. More life? Paul said, "If I stay or go, it's all good" (my paraphrase). If I stay (he said), it is going to mean MINISTRY. Serving. Giving. Dying. Suffering. Building up the church.

One day we will see Him face to Face. No more weeping. No more jealousy, anger or pain. No more bitterness. No more misunderstandings, racism or selfishness. No more pride.

And so that's what I find my heart LONGING for today. More giving! More Dying! And that only takes place as I give Christ more of my fallen, broken, finite heart. Give it over to Him! Want what He wants! Less of me and more of You!

So this is what I want more of today. I want to give more of me away to God by pursuing a knowledge of Him and participating in the fellowship of suffering so that Christ will be glorified.

Why am I so BAD at this?

It's the only "more" that is "living water"--a fountain--inside me. It's the only "more" that satisfies.

Help me pursue You today, Lord!