You really didn't expect things to "stay the same" did you???

It is so cliche to say what I am about to say: "everything changes." Examples? Stop reading for just a minute and think of examples from your own life. Some changes are hard to figure: I used to skip breakfast altogether, and then I went through the oatmeal phase; right now I'm on a big toasted bagel with peanut butter kick. I used to hate (almost like in an unhealthy way) stores like Aldi, now I'm a regular there. When Starbuck's first came out I religiously avoided it; it has grown on me. My family (in my growing up years) was devoted (seriously--actual DEVOTION) to Coke products, "Miracle Whip," and Heinz Ketchup. Now? As long as it's not "Diet Rite"--who cares?

Some changes are funny. I remember the process from hating to loving the mini-van. I am so much cooler than min-vans. But sometimes you have to get the whole family someplace without squishing, sweating and scowling. I love our mini-van. I make it look cooler.

One day my children will grow up and move out of the house (this is the subject line of this entire post--feel free to read that again). I am certain that it will not be "like a band-aid--one pull, right off!" It will be a series of gradual movements that lead toward adulthood, responsibility, embracing their own faith in Christ and maturity. There is no way they are getting where I know they are going unless they go through learning about Christ, this world, themselves and Who they can truly trust. And there's no way they'll get there without regular, purposeful, attended-to GROWTH (read "change").

My world is changing. I have gone from everything in my son's life to significant. From sun to moon. And it's right.

I'm not leaving--and neither is he. But everything is changing. I really didn't expect things to stay the same, did I? Somewhere deep inside, I just wasn't quite ready. He has registered for classes, gone to his athletic code meeting, and had his schedule dictated to him by someone other than me. He has a physical scheduled and will soon walk through the halls of a new school with 1,600 other students. He'll travel on the bus to Cross Country meets and be coached by, well, somebody else. And it's right.

There's a bigger change coming in 2 years (he'll get his driver's license). Much more changes then. Then I won't have morning and evening drives to rehearse the details of the day and remind him one last time that I love him, or that he should trust God's Word. He'll back out of the driveway one day, and never think of "freedom" the same. And it's right.

I am trying to expect change. If life will eventually become physical death, I will gradually morph to it, through aches and pains and with lots of memories of the way things used to be. I may start running less miles or more slowly. Then I'll take up biking only and eventually become a swimmer (that's not a good sign). Once swimming is your only activity it's just a matter of time (I guess it's just a matter of time anyways).

If all of my days are invested in doing what I believe is right before God, and trusting him with my very life, then I refuse to lament about gray hairs and swimming. Change is the constant--and it's right.

To my son, I will seek to live a life that shouts to you: "follow me as I follow Christ," so that you may do the same to this generation and the next--without fear, and without expecting that things will not change. One day very soon your son will turn 14 and you'll wonder if you can go back or stop time. You cannot.

I do not want to stop time. I only seek to invest my every moment in what matters while expecting that nothing remains the same. And I'm happy to live this way--with my heart in heaven where there is no time, no "goodbyes" and no pain.

Things change; and it's good.

Honor Your Father

Don't stop reading! Some people will read the title of this entry and elect to skip it. I hear them. Dads can be absent, angry, weak, abusive, authoritarian, critical or simply completely distant. And for some of my friends, Father's Day is only a reminder of what they wanted or hoped for or lost; it's also another day that makes us have to process the pain and sometimes scars of childhood.

Others are reminded of lost children (either physically or spiritually). How does one help another to process the pain of a lost child?

On this Father's Day I put forth to you the beauty and joy of honoring our fathers. I disclose to you that I have an amazing father. He loves God and has walked faithfully with him for 40+ years. The changes in his life have been evident as he has continually grown. I have seen him stand up for Scripture in difficult circumstances, I have seen him faithfully love my mom everyday of my life and I have seen him manage difficult circumstances within our family. I have a father who both deserves and his earned my respect and honor.

Likewise, my father-in-law is a man of God. He has given himself to the greater task: not building a kingdom in this world for a season, but building Christ in his wife and children. I have a father-in-law who both deserves and has earned my respect and honor.

But we do not honor our fathers because they deserve or have earned it. He honor our earthly fathers (in joy and in tears) out of obedience to the Lord. And it is that same obedience to the Lord that gives each of us who may become fathers the desire to be honorable in every decision.

To that end, I have paraphrased a portion of Scripture below which you will recognize. It is not a prayer to my earthly father, but a statement from my heart to him about my desire that he be honored.


Dear Dad,

I could never re-pay you for what you've done for me. So I offer you honor. I want your name to be made famous and in the category of "faithful father" around the world. In every area where you follow hard after Christ I am inspired and have been taught to do the same. As your son, I want to accomplish those purposes even more now that I am living life on my own as I did when we lived under the same roof.

Thanks for always supplying everything I needed on a day-to-day basis. Even more than bread, you supplied me an example of forgiving others when you were wronged. I choose to forgive others with that same kind of forgiveness as it reflects the forgiveness which Christ offers those who trust him. I will likewise follow your example in making good choices and avoiding evil.

While I cannot truly re-pay you, I do want to honor you in every way by allowing the story of God's grace in your life to continue in me. May I honor God as you have all the days of my life. While your days and my days in this world are numbered, truly we outlive the sum of our days only as we have devoted ourselves to loving and living God's Word.

Love,

Jon