Excitement over weddings

The truly Christ-centered wedding is an amazing, amazing, amazing thing, and I love them. Sure it's a bit over-the-top with all those flowers everywhere and people getting dressed up. And they are, of course, somewhat unrealistic--I mean, c'mon--everyone stands up when the girl comes in, people are crying, a very young couple is making promises up there that they truly don't even fully understand. Is that a good thing? Yes. And I'll tell you why in a minute.

Quick definition of "Christ-focused" wedding: All the music and ceremony focuses in on who God is and what He's done. The meaning and purpose and wisdom that we appeal to comes exclusively from the Scriptures that God has given us. The exhortation comes from somebody who himself is living out a healthy and Christ-honoring marriage. The Gospel is underscored (there exists no "love" between a man and a woman without Christ's love for His bride). The reception celebrates the couple and God's work in their life---NOT ALCOHOL! Many an almost-Christ centered wedding has been bruised in my heart because of the emphasis on alcohol. Why? Just go without the alcohol, people!

So why are these fairy-tale, over-the-top, extremely expensive events good? When they focus on Christ they:

1. Celebrate another couple who sees that God truly reigns. The church and the "foolishness" of Scripture are again exalted as another young person chooses not just to have a "church wedding," but celebrates the reality of their life in Christ. The church isn't "yesterday"--and when another young couple says, "I will live in and raise my family in the church," God is glorified and His promise to build His church throughout the ages unfolds.
2. The young woman's dreams come true and the young man experiences accountability. Seems sad to see it that bluntly, but it's not at all sad. The girl wants the romance and pomp of the event. Is it any wonder that young women are dissatisfied when the last time a young man is romantic is on the wedding day? The wedding day shouldn't be the end of the romance for a woman. And the young man should see his need to continue romancing his wife. All those people out there heard him say how much he loves her. Now he has to act upon that commitment.
3. The cross of Christ is lifted again. As I implied above, there is no love to celebrate unless Christ first loved us. I sat again recently with a couple who said, "We're just not in love anymore." The Christian wedding celebrates being in love (a little), but it celebrates LOVE a lot. Being in love means feeling warmly towards each other, making out a lot, having tons of stuff in common and making each other generally feel good. It's great to be in love. But that's not LOVE. LOVE is being committed to doing what is best for the other person even when it hurts, when you're tired or when you don't feel like it. Being "in love" cannot produce LOVE. But LOVING will always produce fresh feelings of being in love. SO when a couple tells me they're not "in love" anymore I usually say, "Good. Now we can test whether or not you LOVE." And if they don't LOVE, a new relationship (or an end to the old one) will never produce happiness. When the cross of Christ is lifted high, His LOVE is lifted, too. I am in love with my wife because of LOVE. The Christ-centered wedding celebrates LOVE.
4. Laugh at the idea that being "in love" is god. It is no subtle thing to focus on Christ at a wedding. It's in your face. And every person at every wedding knows whether the focus was on Christ or on "the glory of love." When the focus is on the glory of love the entire ceremony seems trite. We make ridiculous promises and hear ridiculous songs written by people who are all divorced and hate the contrivance of marriage. It's silly, and it feels silly to everyone present. But when we take down the idea that our love is rooted in our own ability to remain "in love" it's obvious. And instead of the awkward feeling has at a wedding where being "in love" is touted (the feeling: "These promises are a lie," "They're too young to really understand what they're doing," "I regret my own wedding because it's been so dissatisfying.") everyone has a different feeling. For those living under God's LOVE the feeling is relief and gladness that God truly IS. For those not living under God's LOVE the feeling is that the love spoken of by this crazy pastor is impossible. And that often leads those NOT living under God's LOVE to be angry at truly Christ-centered weddings.

So don't despise the Christian wedding for it's pomp and grandeur. Allow God's LOVE to once again amaze and grip you. Give up yourself and your cynicism (I have to give mine up, too!). Don't focus on the impossibility of the couple to keep their vows, focus on the amazing truth that God has kept His vows (and that power is available to every Christ-follower). The Christian wedding is another building block in the hands of our sovereign God.