Man Transformed

You're so 'real' and other cynical lies I sometimes believe

2011-11-11T11:50:00.000-08:00

Why do we hate good people?

For instance, the Orlando Sentinel is asking "What has Tim Tebow done to deserve all the hate?" and suggesting that maybe we hate him BECAUSE he ‘practices what he preaches,’ or maybe we hate him because so many other people love him. The world around us is convicted by the love (and moral goodness) that flows out of a true Christ follower. The life of a good person puts those outside of Christ "to shame."

It’s normal for people outside of Christ to hate those who practice moral goodness (John 15:18), so we all expect it. But within the Christian church we expect something different: to love goodness, to celebrate victory and to desire to live holy lives (Ephesians 5:1). One would think that the church would celebrate this kind of life and those kind people, wouldn’t you? But we usually don’t.

For some reason people who strive to walk in obedience to Christ (and are having some measure of success at it) seem to be intimidating to the rest of us. We can’t seem to relate to their success or moral goodness and that makes us begin to secretly hate them. When we finally do hear of some area of weakness (or sin), there’s actually relief somewhere inside us because we found out that they’re “real,” too. “At least I’m not THAT bad,” we think, or “See, it’s normal to sin.” (Isn’t that a twisted mindset!)

The disclosure of sin is not a joyous thing—ever. When David’s sin was disclosed (2 Sam 12), he first burned with anger about the sin (v. 5 when he thought Nathan was describing someone else’s sin) and then Nathan provided a hot rebuke, exclaiming, “You are the [sinning] man.” The story continues with David weeping on the floor because he has realized the depth and breadth of his heinous sin “against the LORD.” And Nathan did not end the story with good feelings and a, “You’re so real, David. Thanks, I feel better about myself.”

Sometimes when I am struggling to obey God in a certain area I find happiness when I hear about someone else struggling, too. I feel better knowing I am not alone. There is a word for that: sin.

There is joy in heaven because of repentance, not disclosure. There is joy in heaven because of the reality of forgiveness that flows from our merciful Savior at the cross. There is joy because of Christ.

Nobody in heaven ever apologizes for Christ’s perfections or secretly hates Him.

The next time I hear about the imperfections of a fellow Christ-follower, I want to weep with them and for them (and I hope you’ll weep with me for my sin), longing that at least in the “fellowship of believers” we expect victory, not defeat. Obedience, not disobedience. Maturity, not excuses. Then we’ll be men being transformed into the image of Christ.

Speechless

2011-10-14T04:53:00.000-07:00

I know what you are thinking and I agree. It is ridiculous (and a little annoying) to write a blog entry (based on nothing but words) and entitle it "Speechless." Indulge my annoyance this once.

Today my wife turns, well, another year older. I think she has finally reached the threshold of secrecy in terms of the actual number, and so, as a husband who wants to make this day perfect, I shall apologetically reveal this number another day. Suffice it to say, she has no reason to avoid revealing her number. She is literally more beautiful than ever. She's in the best shape of her life (I should know) and we are getting older TOGETHER--there's something incredibly comforting about that. It does seem that I'm getting older faster than her somehow.

Nikki came into my life around her fourteenth birthday. I was drawn to her because of her balance. She is funny and serious-minded. I have pictures of her doing the silliest things in her childhood. Standing with a group of girlfriends in the boys' bathroom at youth group (she has her hip cocked to one side and looks very proud of herself), wrestling her mom at a family gathering in the park, and a professional portrait of her and her brother Adam wearing some kind of sweet Muppet hats. But serious, too. She has always been serious about her relationship with Christ.

She was and is the "good girl." I don't mean that in a self-righteous, "no-fun" sort of way (though there was one concert we attended and got soaked to the bone because she refused to take shelter under the amphitheater because the tickets we purchased were "lawn" tickets--even though there was plenty of room under there . . . ). She has maintained a passion and consistency in following Christ. She is happy to follow Jesus. Through her character I have learned that following Christ is incompatible with a lot of my own "that's just the way I am" things like compulsive speeding and serial "trying-to-shield-you-from-the-pain-of-the-whole-truth" half-truths. I have been graciously changed by this woman, and I love her.

So Nikki, I thank my God for you. It is my intention to always have my mouth full of praise for you in the "gates" of all my relationships. And you make it easy. I thank God for your health (you're looking good), your wisdom (thank-you for giving up your life to raise our children with contentment!), your relationships (can I get together with you for some coffee?), and for making me the most blessed man ever by faithfully loving me.

She won't even be offended by me closing this birthday entry with a "Go Brewers!"

Happy birthday, Nikki. I love you!

Judgment Day

2011-05-20T09:25:00.000-07:00

So there is a really old guy, Harold Camping, who has predicted that the "Judgment Day" will take place on May 21, 2011. If you're reading this and you haven't seen me for awhile, please read Matthew 24 for the clue to what may have happened. And go to my house and let my dog out.

Some interesting thoughts about our "Family Radio" guy, Mr. Camping? First, he already predicted the end once, in September of 1994. He was wrong, I think. And while the Old Testament commands to stone a false prophet, we are all thankful for grace and forgiveness. He blamed his previous error on a miscalculation. No biblical prophet who was wrong had the opportunity to explain himself . . . or to make a second prediction. Suffice it to say that while I certainly wish him no harm, neither shall I place any stock in his subsequent predictions.

Second, his whole house of cards is built upon a very shaky card table (remember that Brady Bunch episode when the dog came in and knocked over the house of cards??)--the idea that the flood took place in 4990 BCE (Before the Common Era). Huh? When we go with extremely literal and conservative dates and times, we get a Flood which occurred about 1,500 years after Creation. Conservative young-earth creationists place Creation at about 4000 BCE. So the most conservative scholars put the Flood around 2,500 BCE. Camping gets his date from a series of questionable piecemeal-ling of texts which has little merit (the piecemeal-ling has little merit; the texts are inspired!!). His date (4990) is not held by serious Bible scholars.

The REASON that 4990 is so important is his insistence that Peter [(2 Peter 3:8) "But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day."] is trying to tell us that the Judgment Day would come EXACTLY 7,000 years after the Flood (-4990+7,000=2010, but keep in mind there was no "year zero"= 2011). But Peter makes no such guarantee in his simile. He says that a thousand years is "as" a day, not that it is a day. And he is explaining why the people should STOP trying to make Christ's return fit into our human sense of timing--he's not trying to give a hint about the exact time!

Mr. Camping was wrong once before. Furthermore, we have doubt about his dates, and even more doubts about his interpretation of the Scriptures. I therefore reject out of hand his prediction. The Scriptures say in Matthew 24:36 that we should not even try to place a date on Christ's return. Mr. Camping is violating that directive.

However, bad predictions can often produce false security in the heart of naysayers.

While Mr. Camping's predictions should be dismissed, the fact remains that a Judgment Day is coming. Christ will return for His bride, the church. Everyone of us will give account for himself to God (Romans 14:12). And his return will come in the twinkling of an eye--when we least expect it--like a thief in the night.

So what will you do this weekend? Some gardening, maybe attend a wedding, or plan your summer vacation. Whatever you do, use every minute purposefully and continually reminding this world (and yourself) that God is King over his world. We are all living life in His universe and on His terms. Don't allow faulty dates and poor interpretation to rob you of the privilege of considering your ways, and living with a loving urgency that your time is indeed short. Number your days and hours and minutes as you consider this question:

When the Lord does return, what will he find me doing?

Left unsaid

2011-05-08T15:52:00.001-07:00

Some things are better left unsaid: "Is that the only shirt you had?" "Are you pregnant?" and my personal favorite from Father of the Bride, "He's just like you, Dad, except he's a genius."

But there are tons of things better off said. And on this Mother's Day I'd like to say a couple of them to and about my wife:

"When I was nearly lost, maybe forever, God used your love to turn my heart to his."

"Without your character I'd be way too willing to settle for good enough and gray."

"Thanks for balancing our checkbook for 20 years without 'pleases' or 'thank-yous.' Without you we'd have even less money." :0

"Thanks for couponing, shopping deals and buying off brands that I have learned to like."

"Thanks for your willingness to hear and respond to the voice of Jesus calling you to die. The life you now live in the flesh glorifies God. You look more and more like Jesus everyday."

"Thanks for carrying our children inside you while I sat around and made stupid and unfunny comments about baby weight. You did everything in bearing our children. All I did was run to White Castle for sliders (true story)."

"Thanks-you for enduring the body changes, stretch marks, ill-fitting clothes, stupid remarks and especially the pain of childbirth. You graciously and miraculously made it look pretty easy. I'm astounded"

"Thanks for loving, nurturing and understanding the baby years. If it were up to me the children would have received one diaper change per day and I would have constantly done what was needed to stop the crying. You made crying babies into little men through appropriate love, firm guidance and regular diaper changes."

"Thanks for teaching our children, well, everything. They know about this world God made because of you. They tie their shoes because of you. They learned to count because of you. They learned the alphabet because of you. You literally taught each one of them to read and write and rhyme and think. You have passed more than life onto our children. You have given them legacy."

"Thank-you for helping our children to know God. We both do some things, but you do many if not most of them yourself. Daily Bible reading with them, understanding, explanation and most importantly, constant modeling. They have seen Christ in you and been changed because of Him in you."

"Thank-you for your sensitive and emotional heart. Without you I would not understand a grieving heart, the deep places of the human soul or the extent of the glorious victory that Christ achieved for each sinner at the cross. I would not understand the depths of my own heart, my own feelings and my own grief if I didn't learn from you. Though I do not usually display it well, my emotional heart has been dug-out more fully and is more able to contain joy because you showed me how deep it really is."

"Thanks-you for sharing your life--your very soul with me. I always desire that you FEEL that it is safe to trust, and yet sometimes when you trust I hurt you."

So on this Mother's Day, 2011, these are just a few of the things about you that I am thankful for. In every corner of my heart there is another dark place that God has used you to help me discover and surrender to Him. I love you. More.

How has the Cross changed my life?

2011-04-25T08:57:00.000-07:00

I recently addressed a local gathering of "United Evangelical" friends at the Good Friday service in the city I live. I stated that for those perishing, the cross is foolishness, and they honestly believe that the death of a man half-a-world-away over 2,000 years ago has had no impact on their lives. In contrast, those of us who are being saved (1 Corinthians 1:18-25) count the cross as the power of God, and understand that for us, the cross has indeed changed everything about out lives.

So I compiled a list from my own devotions and from John Piper's book, "50 Reasons Why Jesus Christ Came to Die." When the reason is closely associated with a "50 Reasons" chapter title, I will cite the chapter. Here we go.

Whereas I used to be an object of God's wrath, I am now loved by God as a son. (Romans 1:18)
Whereas I used to hate God, I now love Him. (Romans 1:30, 1 John 4:7-8)
Whereas I used to be imprisoned to sin, I am now set free from my sin. (Romans 8:2)
Whereas I used to live in bitterness and anger, I am now free to choose joy in Christ. (Philippians 4:4-7)
Whereas i used to be a grudge-holder, I am now forgiven so that I can forgive. (Matthew 6:9-14)
Whereas I used to be an orphan in this world, I am now adopted in God's love. (John 14:18)
Whereas I used be cut-off from the people and promise of God, I have now been brought near. (Ephesians 2:13)

Because of the cross:

I was born into my earthly family.
I was raised to know and love the Scriptures. (2 Timothy 3:14-17)
The wrath of God against my sin has been absorbed. (5o Reasons, #1) (Galatians 3:13; Romans 3:25; 1 John 4:10)
The experiences of my own youth do not define me. (Psalm 25:7)
I have seen the treasure of God's love and grace for sinners. (5o Reasons, #5) (Romans 5:7-8)
I have seen the treasure of Christ's love and grace for sinners. (5o Reasons, #6) (Ephesians 5:2)
The demands of the law against me have been canceled. (5o Reasons, #7) (Colossians 2:13)
The experiences of my pre-Christ life do not define me. I am forgiven. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
My mind and heart have an expanded use (they are spiritually alive) by God which includes knowing and loving the truth and rejecting deceit and the wisdom of this world. (James 3:13-18)
I have been declared righteous by the holy God (5o Reasons, #10, #15) (Romans 3:23-25)
My conscience is clear (5o Reasons, #16) (Hebrews 9:14)
I can love others since He first loved me. (Galatians 2:20; Ephesians 5:2)
I have discernment and boldness to reject supernatural "signs" which do not glorify Christ. (2 Corinthians 11:4)
I have discernment and boldness to reject wisdom which is merely "earthly." (James 3:15)
I am healed of moral defects (and some physical ones!). (5o Reasons, #18) (Isaiah 53:5; Matthew 8:16-17)
I have been reconciled and brought to God. I am His and He is mine. (5o Reasons, #23) (Romans 7:4; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
I can come boldly before the throne of grace (I must ask things of God!!) (Hebrews 4:16)
I am not defined by heredity or ancestry. (5o Reasons, #28) (1 Peter 1:18-19)
I have grounds for boasting only here at the cross. (5o Reasons, #33) (1 Corinthians 1:31; Galatians 6:14)
My marriage has it's deepest meaning. (5o Reasons, #35) (Ephesians 5:25)
I belong to a community of crucified followers (dead to sin, alive in Christ). (5o Reasons, #38) (Luke 9:23; Matthew 10:38)
The rulers and authorities of this world have been disarmed and crushed forever. (5o Reasons, #42) (Colossians 2:14-15; 1 John 3:8)
My own ridiculous racism is destroyed. (5o Reasons, #44) (Ephesians 2:14-16)
It has been shown to every "why does God allow bad things to happen to good people" question that the worst evil in the history of the world, the crucifixion of Christ, was meant for good by God. (5o Reasons, #50) (Genesis 50:20; Acts 4:27-28)

So, the next time someone asks you, "but what difference does the cross of Christ really make? I hope your mouth and mine are full of quick and certain answers like these. Furthermore, it is my hope to inspire you to live every moment taking full advantage of these excellencies and learning to treasure them more and more--even above life itself. For Christ indeed has accomplished the will of the Father that we might enjoy the Father forever. Happy Easter!!

Under the circumstances

2011-01-25T11:23:00.000-08:00

I have decided to never be under circumstances.

Circumstances seem to build-up, so don't get me wrong. I am human, and being human requires that I feel the weight of bills piling up and children growing up. I'm not old enough yet to be obsessed with my cholesterol or colon, but as I listen to my friends' conversations I am increasingly disturbed by the frequency of words I hear that end in "oscopy" and "ectomy." I am not immune from circumstances.

My oldest son will soon be given permission by my state to drive a car without my supervision (and another bill goes up, along with my blood pressure). We all went through this passage, and it seems easy enough, but this is different. This is my son, and my life (and my car). I have a picture in my mind of other new drivers cruising narrow snow-covered streets and dodging snow plows while responding to text messages and trying to choose a new playlist on their iPod. At least the impact will be absorbed by his Venti Strawberry Frappuccino. I am not immune from circumstances.

And worse than snow plows, there are girls out there. Has anyone else held off temptation and relationships with careful vigilance only to find the weight of them come crashing in on the whole family on the same day? How will they drive cars while trying to impress girls at the same time? This seems a feat of scientific impossibility. It's a wonder any insurance company avoids bankruptcy while extending policies to students. And I am not under the circumstances.

My list could go on. Circumstances that pile-up on 40-somethings will crush the flesh of mere mortals. You could add your sad sack list of complaints alongside my own.

But I am withdrawing my list of "Under-the-circumstances" complaints permanently. I am emboldened to teach my sons self-control and wisdom and to text only after you arrive (and maybe at the red light). I am not afraid of doctors with rubber gloves and my own fluctuating BMI. If oscopies lead to ectomies then I thank God for research and technology. And when there are no more parts to functionally remove then I shall really live.

"Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them."

My days in this world have been numbered (Psalm 139:16, quoted above) since before I lived any on them. And when those days are gone then I shall truly be alive. The troubles of this world are real, but fleeting. Heavy, but disappearing. Present, but not permanent.

So the circumstances of this life are reduced to a molehill by the reality of the next life. I am left to weigh something other than circumstances: how many of my circumstances (molehill) are eternal concerns (mountain)? How could I focus on my sons' iPods (molehill) when the central dream of my life is their character and passionate pursuit of Christ (mountain)? How I effort to beat my body into submission (molehill) but not to wrestle with God in prayer over the eternal state of my Christless neighbor (mountain). While wrestling to amass treasure in this world (I have to eat, right?--molehill), do I have even an ounce of concern for treasure that is in heaven (mountain)? This life is really passing away (and it's a very real molehill), and there's an old song on a tape somewhere that reminds us "only what's done for Christ will last" (mountain).

Though I am fully human, I am not under the circumstances.

Ryan turns 14

2010-10-04T13:50:00.000-07:00

My son Ryan turned 14 a couple days ago. I love him so much.

He is amazing. He is unbelievably responsible. He does what he says he'll do. He's the only one of my sons who gets to be a little brother and a big brother--and he does them both incredibly well. He's smart and funny. He loves animals and little kids. He has a "black-and-white" personality that he got from his mom, because some things are just wrong. I continue to see more of Jesus shining through his personality everyday, and I know it's God's doing (not mine!).

He's good at sports, but he doesn't live for them and I like that balance. He likes to be at home but he's not lazy. He loves his friends and his heart is turned toward the family. I love that.

Ryan has a great relationship with his mom, too. They laugh a lot. She will occasionally attack the young man with one of her patented wrestling moves and he pretends to resist. They play the "who is taller?" game often, with Nik always going down in defeat these days. His loyalty translates into protection of her, and that gives this man's heart a sense of appropriate satisfaction.

While I am looking forward to the man he will be, I can wait for it to happen. I am enjoying every day I have with my son, and I want to extend my days with him. It seems as though I just started counting my blessings with my children (you never start soon enough), and immediately I see my counting days are numbered. I should have started counting a little sooner, I suppose.

Ryan, I'm proud of you. I love you with all my heart just because God gave you to me. Happy birthday!

TWILIGHT

2010-09-21T11:55:00.000-07:00

If you only have 30 seconds, just read the last paragraph of this entry . . .

There is no such thing as a vampire. They do not exist. I would take issue with those who argue that these fictional creatures may be compared with Hobbits (Tolkien) or Fauns (Lewis). The fantasy world depicted by Stephanie Meyer is her Twilight series is set in close proximity to our own real lives so as to suck in the hopes and hearts of young women (and older women) hoping for a (super-) human hero.

You can search for an overview of the Twilight series in a million places. This entry does not seek to summarize the story. Suffice it to say, Meyer has the traditional concept of "vampire" in view as she writes about Edward and Bella.

Meyer's vampires do wonder about a god (wouldn't he be responsible for creating vampires, too??) and seek to take care of the environment (they try to focus their feasting on animal species which are already overpopulated in order to help out the humans and their environment). In fact, much of the storyline is wrapped around their desire to be "good" vampires.

I'm not against all fantasy. I have been greatly helped by many a good story. They can be inspirational and even help to teach truths which are eternal. And that's my main argument with Twilight--it's a good story that teaches lies, not truth.

Lie #1: A vampire can be good. I am not even going to unpack this statement because it is an obvious lie. Vampires do not exist. If someone or something purports itself to be a vampire it is an emanation (either by possession or oppression) of a demon (we know that because vampires are fixated on and sustained by darkness and death, which do not glorify God). Yes, I realize that this story depicts itself to be fantasy. . . I'm just saying.

Lie #2: It's a good idea to allow a vampire to (basically) live in your bedroom and lie to your parents about it if you must.

Lie #3: The teaching of Scripture on (almost every subject, but especially) life-after-death is wrong. The main character, Bella, is an average high school girl who wants Edward (her slightly off-beat vampire biology lab partner) to bite her, thus making her a vampire forevermore. Everything that a believer lives for (communion with God, loving Him with all of our hearts, longing for His kingdom, forgiveness of sins, etc.) is dismissed as Bella's desire is to be with Edward forever, not Jesus (bringing us to our next lie) . . .

Lie #4: A teenage girl should expect to find an all-consuming human romantic love that is worth giving up her soul for. Edward is self-controlled, sacrificial and seemingly always present to help in Bella's time of need. He's not almost perfect, he is perfect. I believe this is why there are so many thirty-something-year-old women (and older) who love this story. "Is there a man like that out there for me (because my own 'significant other' looks nothing like Edward)?" Answer? No way. And the tighter our young women hold on to that dream, the more desperate they become to make it happen. This dream drives them further away from the One who really is the completion of their soul. If you want to stoke the flames of discontent in your marriage, or create unrealistic and unmeetable hopes in the heart of your pre-teen daughter, read these books. The all-consuming love that we were made for and who completes us is only available in Christ Jesus. Looking for it anywhere else will cripple you--and me too.

I've read books before with lies in them and recognized their danger. I'm sure you have, too. And we'll both read more of them in the future. Some of them will have redeeming qualities and be great stories. The reason that I believe this one is dangerous is because it engages the hearts, primarily of our young women with a fantasy storyline that seeks to keep one foot in reality. It amounts (in my estimation) to soft emotional porn for women because it paints a picture that is unattainable, and no future (or current) spouse could ever live up to. Since we don't let our young sons look at soft porn (at least they're reading, right??), then I don't think we should let our young daughters read Twilight.

When we don't pray

2010-08-11T06:39:00.000-07:00

Here's a message I recently taught on prayer. It's weird to post this as a link.

I'm learning a lot about prayer, but still have miles to go before I'm home!

Delight yourself in the LORD

2010-07-07T07:17:00.000-07:00

True confession: I don't always know how to "Delight [myself] in the LORD." I want to, though.

Here is what I'm learning, though: God always makes me happy, and not having God always (eventually) makes me unhappy. Or, stated again, I am whole (blessed, complete) when I pursue God and fragmented (dissatisfied, broken) when I try to find pursue anything but God.

You already know this, and I do, too--and that should result in the constant and easy decision to "put to death" any and everything that is not "the way, the truth and the life." Then I add up the dollars I have spent recently, and the hours I have wasted; days I have wasted, and can't help but be frustrated with my own insanity.

Just a reminder to myself here: God brings happiness and is happiness. I will be happy as I tell the truth and enjoy him; as I love purity which flows from Him; as I take initiative in a world that needs to see His love; as I forgive others and release anger because that's what God has done in Christ; as I release possessions because no physical possession can ever bring me happiness. Never.

Oh, Lord, you alone are my delight. May I grow up in your grace! May I consistently pursue life and the happiness that you alone bring. May the "desires of my heart" be trained upon you alone. May I desire truth in the inward-most place in my heart. When I search for You, I find you.

The struggle

2010-04-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

"Why do bad things happen?"

This is the question that I have been asked more than any other question in my life. Why cancer? Why me? Why did God allow this? Why now?

One of the things that unites the hearts of every person who has ever lived is struggle. Life is never without obstructions, set-backs, turmoil and pain. And we should not be surprised that it gets worse as we get older.

We spend lots of time and emotional energy--not to mention money--on trying to avoid struggling. We buy diet pills, get Botox injections, take vitamins, seek therapy and watch Oprah (exchanging one struggle for another), all in an effort to minimize and avoid problems.

But there exists no example of growth without pain and sacrifice. A caterpillar leaves behind it's old self to become a butterfly. A tree lies dormant and naked in it's toil to grow taller and stronger. We knowingly tear muscles down in order that they be healed, coming back stronger. We even call that process becoming "ripped" because of all the purposeful pain we inflict upon ourselves to get there.

I will never grow in comfortable times. The more comfort and ease I have, the more I desire more comfort and ease, and that comfort yields a flabby and self-focused monster--always wanting more ease and less stress on me.

I take immense comfort from knowing that (Romans 8:28) that the afflictions I endure--all the afflictions I endure in Christ--are for my good. I struggle through the loss of loved ones, relational stress and disappointment, not getting my way, being overlooked, and generally enduring hardness in the this world. All of those things create in me a need for my Savior moment-by-moment, a desire for more of him and less of me and a true longing for heaven that doesn't flow from bitterness or fear, but out of hunger and hope.

I am learning to expect troubles and struggles and to allow those things to direct my attention to the only one who can help me. He allows winters so knock the leaves off off of my tree and prepare me for the next season of active growth. This growth requires death and even a harsh winter. But it results in a glorious spring and a stronger tree.

It's a good struggle that I am just beginning to learn to embrace.

Thank-you so much!

2009-12-28T09:28:00.001-08:00

Christmas is not about the gifts.

We all say that, we believe it (most of us!), and if push came to shove, a Christmas with no physical gifts would be fine--even great! We'd be pressed to value all we have--loved ones, life, and most importantly, forgiveness for our hateful rebellion against the good King of this universe.

Some years we also are amazed by generosity. That's what this year has been for me and my family. In a year of economic downturn and struggle, we have been overwhelmed, and I mean completely humbled, by the incredible gifts that we have received from our church family, our own extended family and friends. Whoa!

I won't get into a big shopping list here. I would invoke the envy that you and I both thought we were trying to kill during Christmas. I will share just one gift that was all about timing, generosity and selflessness.

I have been operating with a computer that had become a laughingstock. Our home computer--once a serviceable station of digital communication and expression had been filled to capacity for a couple years. I purchased an external hard drive a year ago to try to prolong it's inevitable grave--that helped. But it was a 256 processor and a 30Gb hard drive. For you non-techies that simply means that it had less than memory than many iPods.

I have been planning to replace it for a couple years. Nikki wanted to wait, and convinced me that timing was everything. She spoke wisdom to me and my boyish exuberance for a new techno-toy was delayed momentarily. And so we danced. My oft impatient scanning of the newspaper circulars (looking online was too slow) would ebb while her gentle reminders flowed (and sometimes, vice-verse).

When we decided together that we would indeed replace our relic after Christmas this year I knew the old Dell had finally outlasted her useful existence. It was time to put her to sleep.

Once we made the decision to replace the computer, my impatience crested. My thought: "If we know we are going to replace this thing after Christmas, why bother waiting?" Nikki's Jonny-like reply: "I entered an online contest to win a computer. Let's wait 'till after the Christmas Eve winner is announced." OK.

The people of our church became aware of our home computing slowness through a variety of means. While we waited, they decided to take up a collection for us to help us with this little expense. At our staff Christmas Party (December 20) at our house, the people we serve God with presented us with an amazing gift card to purchase the computer(s) of our choice through a national technology retailer. We wept at the timing, the generosity and the thought of being cared for by God's family in this world. I still do when I think of it . . . thanks to all of you who made this happen!

I waited 'till Christmas Eve--we did not win the computer that Nikki had registered to win.

The day after Christmas, after much research and comparison shopping I went out and purchased a crazy-fast computer. I had wanted the extra-large monitor but had decided to be content with the standard monitor. When I got to the store they were out of the standard monitor, but for $80 bucks more or so they would upgrade me to the 23" HD monster that I had wanted to begin with. I could live with that! We had enough left over to purchase Microsoft Office and a netbook for Nikki's amazing cooking skills. (With various problems on the old computer Nikki had grown accustomed to walking back and forth from the kitchen to the family room every time she needed to proceed in the recipe because the computer wouldn't always print. Sure it' s not a huge inconvenience, but now she can bring her netbook into the kitchen and check her various sites on the wireless connection (that router was also a gift from a friend!).)

God cares about the desires of our heart with regard to screen size and even the little desire of this man's heart for the convenience of his wife.

The amazement of this Christmas season was not changed in 2009. I stand amazed at the cross of our Savior--the only atonement for my sinful rebellion.

Because I do not know who gave the gifts, I say this publicly to my brothers and sisters: Thanks! Your generous gifts have been an exclamation mark in our hearts this Christmas season! (And, by the way, our sons are equally amazed at God's provision "in the fullness of time . . .")

Merry Christmas!

Nikki turns . . . one year older

2009-10-14T08:14:00.000-07:00

So I won't tell you how young my wife is--I guess it's none of your business. But on October 14, 2009 I can tell you some things about her life. It's been a life of commonness and miracles.

Commonness is boring? I don't think so. Nikki has never taken drugs, struggled with substance abuse, robbed banks or been violent (unless you count the way she pounds a lump of dough). She has never flunked out of school, been arrested or gotten a tattoo. It's funny because when people are young they often pursue the things that they think will make them happy (partying, momentary highs, education, friends, money, etc.). From the beginning Nikki has pursued what will bring real happiness (Christ, Scripture, truth-telling, faithfulness, loyalty, family and for some reason yet to be understood, me). It's ironic to me that our world has made the pursuit of immediate gratification "normal" (expected), and the pursuit of that which will bring true happiness "abnormal." Nikki didn't buy in. Her pursuit of real happiness in Christ is extraordinary--and it has changed my life.

Miracles? Where would I start to explain to you the miracles that God has done in and through Nikki for me? Nikki has shown me what character is all about. She has been non-negotiable on the most important things in life and has been pliable in areas where she has needed growth. She has silently prayed for me when I have been a jerk and has offered input when I've been ready. She has displayed submission and a quiet spirit fearlessly. She has carried silent burdens for herself and others to the throne of grace. She has wisely helped me raise children--and so much of their character is owed to her countless hours of discipline, education and patience. Her life has impacted my life, the life of our children and our church and community for Christ--for eternity. That is miraculous.

And she looks miraculous.

She's not perfect. Since this is my blog, I choose to emphasize the best in her, not just because it's her birthday but also because I love her. Love rejoices in the truth, and "covers" faults. The fact is that her love for me has done the same (covered my faults) exponentially. We're two very imperfect people rejoicing that "we are not yet what we will be, but, by God's grace we are not what we once were."

So today I celebrate the common and miraculous in Nikki! One day she will write a book, probably have her own business, and continue to turn this world upside-down with her love of God and me. If there are no books or her own business, it'll be okay--the miracles remain. Her life has incredible significance because she is willing to embrace being a wife, mother and humble servant of the most high God. My soul glories in this woman.

I wish I had words in my to express the way Nikki has impacted my life and loved me. I don't. But this I say: I'd rather have Nikki than all the riches of this world, silver and gold. I have found a good thing.

Happy Birthday, Nikki! I love you! You are my life in this world!

The sins of your youth

2009-09-28T07:48:00.000-07:00

Second and third generation Christians often struggle mightily in their faith. I suppose there's a boatload of reasons for this, but the most important reasons seem to be what was allowed and approved of in their youth by the child's parent and by the child himself.

This is why an adult who comes to faith in Christ is often at an advantage in some ways in terms of their passion for Christ. Their family life was often a mess, but at least if their parent made no claim of faith in Christ they can understand why their childhood was so disappointing and/or painful. So they come to Christ as an adult and reason, "My parents never knew God." And they are often free to pursue God whole-heartedly.

But when a child is raised by parents who believe God, but who are "lukewarm," the child will develop their own sins (in their youth) that are developed AFTER their profession of faith. This is a huge problem. If they see their professing dads or moms walking in defeat in terms of anger, immorality, narcissism, addictions, unforgiveness, bitterness, joylessness, apathy, anxiety, meanness, harshness, gluttony, materialism, gossip, lying, and purposelessness then they will say in their hearts, "God is insufficient to meet the longings of my parents' hearts. I will therefore need to meet the needs of my own heart outside of God."

And they will take the bents of their hearts and develop "sins in their youth." The trouble with this is that these habits grow up with the individual. The child--even after this supposed conversion--makes room for sin. And the longer this sin is left unattended it grows and progresses to maturity. JC Ryle said that a boy could bend an oak sapling, but 100 men cannot uproot a mature oak; and so it is with the sins of our youth.

All sin is death to the soul, but the minimized and accepted sins of our youth are growing up with us, potentially WITH our faith or maybe INSTEAD OF our faith. What to do?

Parents: seek the Lord hotly with all of your heart. Read and meditate upon and memorize and love and live God's Word so that your children see the integrity of your life in Christ. This is no perfect guarantor, but it is certainly the crying need of the children in families that claim to seek Christ.

Children: do not minimize and justify and accept the idea that "boys will be [sinful] boys," or that we must lower standards for children. If you accept this behavior in your youth (especially after a profession of faith), you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of difficulty in uprooting the behavior or lie. Again, it is Ryle who said that true repentance is never too late, but late repentance is rarely true. Repent today, while God's grace is available, and live a life of repentance.

Missing out? Yes you will miss out on what the world around you seems to be enjoying. The deceit of "personal freedom," the prison of grudge-holding, and the paralysis of randomness. But the life you want--leading a family sacrificially, peace with God, and purposefulness--is a life that casts off those things. You will miss out on allowing your oak to grow crooked. That's a good thing to miss.

For those of us who still have "sins of our youth" that developed habits in us--habits that we are still un-learning. There is hope!

Psalm 25:7
"Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord."

You really didn't expect things to "stay the same" did you???

2009-08-05T12:34:00.000-07:00

It is so cliche to say what I am about to say: "everything changes." Examples? Stop reading for just a minute and think of examples from your own life. Some changes are hard to figure: I used to skip breakfast altogether, and then I went through the oatmeal phase; right now I'm on a big toasted bagel with peanut butter kick. I used to hate (almost like in an unhealthy way) stores like Aldi, now I'm a regular there. When Starbuck's first came out I religiously avoided it; it has grown on me. My family (in my growing up years) was devoted (seriously--actual DEVOTION) to Coke products, "Miracle Whip," and Heinz Ketchup. Now? As long as it's not "Diet Rite"--who cares?

Some changes are funny. I remember the process from hating to loving the mini-van. I am so much cooler than min-vans. But sometimes you have to get the whole family someplace without squishing, sweating and scowling. I love our mini-van. I make it look cooler.

One day my children will grow up and move out of the house (this is the subject line of this entire post--feel free to read that again). I am certain that it will not be "like a band-aid--one pull, right off!" It will be a series of gradual movements that lead toward adulthood, responsibility, embracing their own faith in Christ and maturity. There is no way they are getting where I know they are going unless they go through learning about Christ, this world, themselves and Who they can truly trust. And there's no way they'll get there without regular, purposeful, attended-to GROWTH (read "change").

My world is changing. I have gone from everything in my son's life to significant. From sun to moon. And it's right.

I'm not leaving--and neither is he. But everything is changing. I really didn't expect things to stay the same, did I? Somewhere deep inside, I just wasn't quite ready. He has registered for classes, gone to his athletic code meeting, and had his schedule dictated to him by someone other than me. He has a physical scheduled and will soon walk through the halls of a new school with 1,600 other students. He'll travel on the bus to Cross Country meets and be coached by, well, somebody else. And it's right.

There's a bigger change coming in 2 years (he'll get his driver's license). Much more changes then. Then I won't have morning and evening drives to rehearse the details of the day and remind him one last time that I love him, or that he should trust God's Word. He'll back out of the driveway one day, and never think of "freedom" the same. And it's right.

I am trying to expect change. If life will eventually become physical death, I will gradually morph to it, through aches and pains and with lots of memories of the way things used to be. I may start running less miles or more slowly. Then I'll take up biking only and eventually become a swimmer (that's not a good sign). Once swimming is your only activity it's just a matter of time (I guess it's just a matter of time anyways).

If all of my days are invested in doing what I believe is right before God, and trusting him with my very life, then I refuse to lament about gray hairs and swimming. Change is the constant--and it's right.

To my son, I will seek to live a life that shouts to you: "follow me as I follow Christ," so that you may do the same to this generation and the next--without fear, and without expecting that things will not change. One day very soon your son will turn 14 and you'll wonder if you can go back or stop time. You cannot.

I do not want to stop time. I only seek to invest my every moment in what matters while expecting that nothing remains the same. And I'm happy to live this way--with my heart in heaven where there is no time, no "goodbyes" and no pain.

Things change; and it's good.

Big Goal for the rest of 2009

2009-07-24T13:01:00.000-07:00

I love people--it feels like I start many posts with this sentiment, but it's true. I am amazed by fast-moving go-getters who make things happen in our world, and I am thankful for the slow-moving Sunday drivers who are slowing down to take pictures while traffic backs up behind them. Check out a Little League baseball game to see these personality types displayed. Some kids HAVE to win, and some honestly don't know the score. (Someday I will write about Little League, but not today.)

There's a whole world of people out there who need to be loved and appreciated--people in the fast lane and others with their hazards on; compacts and wide loads; Porsches and Pintos. The ones most like me are easier to understand and harder to appreciate, but I guess that's the point of this post.

For the remainder of 2009 (and hopefully beyond), I really want to "love my neighbor as myself."

I love myself a lot--I think I can safely admit that here. Christ assumed we would love ourselves, otherwise he wouldn't have said something so cryptic as "love your neighbor as yourself." I bathe, cut, trim, feed, pamper, rest, exercise, medicate (when necessary), and even dress myself with care (those of you who know me can stop laughing anytime now). Christ didn't have to explain the idea of "lov[ing] yourself." We get it.

Our churches (I work in a church, so I hope you don't mind a little self-criticism here) spend lots of time and resources on programs that are designed to reach out to my neighbors. Think of that! Slick advertising, impressive brochures, polished presentations and professional programming all lead up to someone else telling my neighbors about Christ's love. The irony is that if we weren't so busy laying these things out, planning, printing, practicing and preparing, we'd have a lot more time to tell them--better, show them ourselves.

(I am not arguing that the church ought to never have have formal programs toward evangelism. I am trying to emphasize that the program ought not to be our only or primary means of reaching my neighbors.)

So, what will I do about this desire to end 2009 as a person who loves his neighbor?

Enjoy as much time as possible outside--especially in my neighborhood. I am going to emphasize the things I know that my wife loves--delivering her baked goods, taking walks, and completing a few projects in the yard. I have several neighbors who have outdoor projects going on right now--imitation is the highest form of flattery.
Embarrass myself to the neighbors whose names I do not know yet by saying, "We've lived near each other for 12 years now--what was your name again?" That's it. No more waving at nameless faces as they disappear into anonymous caves of closing garage doors.
Pray over (and during) every conversation as I boldly and unapologetically speak of Christ alone as King. Ya, I know, that beating this drum can get old, or feel forced--that's where the prayer comes in.
Strive to care for and love my neighbors exactly the same both before and after they either reject or receive Jesus Christ. I know it's tricky. I live in a community of deeply religious people from "mainline" churches. To most of them, receiving communion and receiving Christ are exactly the same thing. It seems like that they'll never get the difference if it is not stated in words to them, and not just learned (again) as doctrine next Sunday morning. It would be sweet to be known as the neighbor who really loves (not just the religious guy).
Lose my excuses. "I have one for every selfish thing I do," just like Charlie Peacock's song, "In the Light." Some excuses I have to lose:

-"We're so different."
-"They don't even care." ("And I don't really like them.")
-"I'm afraid."
-"I don't have time." ("I'm too busy.")
-"My own family is more important."
-"I don't know how to do this." (Or, "No one else seems to be doing this . . .")
-"My church has a program for this."
-"I tried this before."

So that's it. It seems so insignificant. I want to actually care about my neighbors--showing them consistent love with God's help for their good and his glory. Ask me how it's going sometime.

p.s. The church needs outreach programs that get us organized and shoot at a specific target. Please do not read "End the outreach programs." That's not what I'm saying. I want to BECOME my church's outreach program a little better for God's glory. I'm just saying.

2009 "Teen Domination"--amazing pic

2009-05-29T07:25:00.000-07:00

If you need a photographer for a coming event, I have several friends who are amazing. My friend Dan took some fantastic pictures at a recent youth activity. I'll only post one . . .

Everything's going to be okay

2009-05-26T08:03:00.000-07:00

So, if you read this blog you know already: I am the eternal optimist. When it rains the flowers and plants grow (and I love food), when someone hurts me (generally!), it's just an opportunity to forgive and reflect upon how much I have been forgiven, when things don't go according to my plans, it's another reminder that God is in control and I am not. Sometimes it takes me awhile to get to these conclusions, but I usually crawl there eventually.

We have just completed another holiday that cause us to look back (they all cause us to look back!) with a somber heart. The more we remember, the greater our appreciation is for today. But the by-product of looking back to consider yesterday's effect upon today is generally pessimism about tomorrow. Our days can become full of talk of how great things used to be and how bad they are becoming. Consider the way that this president's (or the previous one, or the one before that) policies are messing things up. While I concur that decisions have impact and there are right and wrong ways to think and live, I officially reject the idea that our best days are behind us. Maybe as a country they are, maybe they are not.

But as believers, even if pain and trouble lurk in the future, I will never sulk and simmer about the absence of the what I think were the "good ol' days."

In these new days our personal freedoms may diminish, our taxes may skyrocket, our stuff could be taken, churches may go out of "business," and Christians may be imprisoned. So what?

If we believe that our chief calling and value is Christ and His gospel, then poverty and imprisonment will heighten it's glory (fame) and "our" message. The new days may be personally painful (maybe not), but they may better announce the gospel and prune the church. No matter how dark the situations we face feel, ultimately we can never depart from our understanding about who is manning the dimmer switch that decreases our perception of the light.

I write this blog entry in-between funerals and just days prior to a funeral for a close relative who took his own life in misery. If you read the posts below you see lots of pain in my world--and I know you live with the same pain. Hatred, brokenness, divorce, pain, and death? It's all part of the story.

In the title of this entry, I said everything is going to be "okay." Let me define this as I close. Okay= "God is using pain and trouble in this world to accomplish His appointed plans;" and "All history is marching toward God's intended end." I do NOT mean to say that everything for North American Christians will be comfortable. They won't--especially if God intends to do a great movement of marching against the gates of hell using us.

God used David and Solomon and Lydia (rich and influential people), but they did not accomplish God's purposes without lots of trouble. God also used Abel (in death), Joseph (in slavery and broken family conditions and famine), Joshua (through war), Samson (in death), Jonathan (by taking away what was lawfully his), Daniel (in kidnapping), Josiah (his parents died way early), Jeremiah ("weeping" prophet as Israel was "exiled"), Jonah (did he EVER believe???), Hosea (married a prostitute on purpose!), John the Baptist (lost his head), Saul/Paul (God would actually have to SHOW him how much he would have to suffer for His name's sake), Timothy (what was up with his dad??), and many others who were used in the midst of their broken lives and while they had to give up all conception of what their worlds deemed "normal."

I certainly don't pretend to say I know how things are going to turn out--for our comfort or pain. I do know that everything is going to be okay. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Oh death, where is thy sting?

2009-05-19T07:41:00.000-07:00

This week is painful and sweet. Memorial Day is here and it represents everything to many and nothing to some. What is it for you?

A couple of years ago Memorial Day took on new meaning for me because I buried a student who had come through our church and gone off to serve his country in the Navy. He lost his life during active service, but in a tragic and completely horrifying way. While serving in a place that is in the heart of true peace, he was murdered by a fellow soldier--a co-worker, in fact that he knew pretty well. Since "Memorial Day" is about soldiers who have lost their lives in the service and defense of this country, my friend's death hit hard that Memorial Day.

Last year on Memorial Day weekend my wife and I were ministering to friends who had lost their precious baby. They had known for some time that their beautiful son was not alive, but he wasn't born until near Memorial Day. This is now the one year anniversary of his going home. Most days, it still does not make sense. Some days it still feels like he is still here somehow. And as I wrote the first sentence in this paragraph I have been reminded that it is often our friends--this precious boy's parents--who are ministering to Nikki and me, not us ministering to them.

So these two deaths are both hard to understand, out of "order" and troubling in my spirit. I know you could tell me stories just like these and we could wonder and reason together about why these things happen.

But then we come to Memorial Day. Not Iwo Jima, D-Day or Normandy. The ultimate expression of a soldier giving his life so that others could be free has nothing to do with armies or America. Don't get me wrong, I stand in awe and thanks of soldiers who have given their life so I can type my thoughts and put them online (and live freely and drink clean water and, well I could go on forever . . .). I LOVE Memorial Day. But truth be known, one day America will look nothing like it does today. Freedoms will be different--maybe gone altogether. This country could stand as she is for another 800 years (like the Roman Empire) or be unrecognizable in 8 years. So celebrating that Memorial Day which makes us proud to be Americans is good and right--but temporary, at best. It's just for us who live here now.

But there is an eternal and perfect symbol for freedom you will never lose.

It's the cross, right? The eternal and perfect memorial which symbolizes a once-for-all sacrifice to actually pay for the sins of every person who trusts Christ alone for forgiveness. This is not a dying or fleeting or temporary freedom that allows me to live how I want. It's a permanent and eternal freedom that compels me to live--forgiven--in the way that God wants. We cannot use this freedom as a license to sin, but must allow it to be a motive to hate sin.

This Memorial Day, I encourage you to make veterans prominent in your hearts and thinking, but to make Christ pre-eminent. Death came for Jared and Owen when we least expected it. Physical death will come for me, too. I honor people who bring freedom for a little while on this earth, but I RUN to the one who delivers my soul forever from the prison of hell.

If you live as a free person for 80 years and then find that Memorial Day was insufficient for the freedom of your soul you will be a miserable and wretched soul forever. My greatest desire as that we each find permanent freedom and a true eternal escape from death itself. That has happened in Christ.

Happy Memorial Day!

I LOVE church

2009-05-06T07:29:00.000-07:00

You hear it all the time, don't you? "I love God, but I hate church." Can I tell you quickly before you stop reading that that statement is self-righteous and hypocritical. It's ironic to me that people who hate church usually hate church because of the self-righteousness and hypocrisy they see "at church" when they are participating in their own objection by making the judgment.

I LOVE church. I love people who have a strong preference for music because they always have an amazing story of how God worked in this world (usually about the time that their favorite music was popular). I love mistakes during the service because it reminds us that God will be satisfied with no pre-packaged, rote presentation. I love when the projected words are on the wrong screen because it gives a chance to improvise. I love when an older woman's wig moves on her head during a service because it reminds me how much she cares about what she looks like today and how much I don't. I love when the person in front says "greet someone around you" and I get to shake the hand of someone I never met, and I love it more when I shake the hand of someone who knows I'm a jerk (and maybe has even "judged me") but now we worked out and he still loves me. I also love it when I see the person across the room whom I have hurt shaking someone else's hand--it reminds me that I have work to do. I love conversations in the hallway with the neediest person (again)--the one whose been living all week off the stuff we talked about last week. I love when kids cry out during the service because children are a blessing from the Lord. I (usually) love it when some of my plans are interrupted with a surprise--an urgent need--because when I look back at things later, it is so often the hand of God which seems to be interrupting. I love brokenness because it so often leads to healing. I love open and far-reaching confession because faith and repentance are required for salvation. I love the bad coffee that churches are famous for because it reminds me that church should stick to Scripture (and community) and let Starbucks make the coffee. I love the huger pangs I get during the third point because it reminds me that man shall not live on bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the Word of God. I love (most) confrontations because it gives me (or the person being confronted; or both of us) opportunity to change and grow. I love giving grace to others because I love receiving it from them. I love singing that one praise song 3 weeks in a row because then I know the heart of the song leader better (that's his favorite right now). I love how diverse and unique all the people of the church are because it provides ministries to all sorts of different people. I love Saturdays because I can't wait for Sundays. I love walking with friends through their dark valleys (this is one of the greatest privileges about leading in a church); I love when friends walk my dark valleys with me. I love the Word of God because it does not change.

So, ya. In a week of unbelievably heavy circumstances and troubles (in the church!!), "I love the church!" And I am so glad that Christ loves her more.

If you have been hurt in a church, welcome to the club. I wonder if we would each ask the better question, "Who have I hurt through or at church." Since you are a priest in Christ, and therefore a "church leader," I implore you to ask that question before you miss another week of fellowship. If you are "in Christ" then you are the church. We are all hypocrites who have been forgiven and are being changed into the image of Christ. One cannot "love God" but "hate" his bride.

I LOVE church!!

Will God really judge/condemn people?

2009-04-18T12:11:00.000-07:00

As a sort of "flip-side" to the post below, and as a sort of exercise in final prep for tomorrow's sermon, I put pen to paper (fingers to keyboard) today to crystallize a few thoughts.

I have a few friends who really want universalism to be true--you know, the idea that "in the end, everyone will be saved because God is, after all, loving." One or two of my friends even go so far as to say that even if this idea is NOT true, that all Christians should at least want it to be true. Now I haven't done tons of thinking about what I should "wish" to be true, but it seems to me that any and every wish or effort of my will that I have should line up with God's Word.

I would not want to wish for things that seem to violate Scripture. Doesn't that seem backwards? Like wishing that I could be godly without effort or that my troubles would all go away or that my elderly Grandma would never ever die??? Sure, it seems nice, but why even go there when I know what is real and true? In some ways it's a waste of time. God told me His will and mind on these subjects, and even though I don't necessarily fully understand things, I'm not going to waste lots of effort wishing them different.

So will your unsaved friend actually be judged to spend eternity in hell paying for his or her own sin? Yes. In fact, I answer this question in human terms, as if it "will happen." Actually, John 3:17 says the world who has not believed in Christ alone is "condemned ALREADY." The passage I've been reading this week says that the ungodly are now being "kept" (2 Peter 2:9) until the day of judgment. So the theological response to the title of this entry is that God has already judged and guaranteed the eternal punishment of the ungodly--the unrighteous.

No one takes delight in the judgment of those who die in their sin. It's a horrible reality. I hate even writing the words down. But they are true--a fact. Peter tells us that there are several reasons we should embrace the idea that sinners who die in their sin will actually be judged in hell forever:

God has done this many times before. Look at "the ancient world" (Noah), and "Sodom and Gomorrah" (Lot), for instance. God "did not spare" them. Life is in His hands to do with what He pleases, and He owes no man an explanation. Judgment against sin is a comfort to sinners that God is truly just. That's why the cross is so beautiful and amazing. Nowhere does God's Word send out the idea to anyone that the cross accomplished the salvation of every person--even those who reject Christ and remain in their sin. 2 Peter 2 says that in the day of judgment, the ungodly will be eternally judged. The New Testament is replete with examples of this doctrine.
The redeemed should take delight in our faithful God. In no way am I happy to see unbelievers judged. I am happy, however, to find God faithful in keeping His word, over and over again. Did He spare disobedient angels? No. The ancient world? No Sodom and Gomorrah? No and no. And His consistent judgment against sin should be a motivator for the redeemed to remember that God is serious about judging sin, trustworthy to always do everything He says He will and holy.
Our hearts should be breaking for them! But not (as my friends above think) with some sort of sappy "if-only" mindset. Instead, my very soul should be (as Lot's was) troubled within me because of the filthy lives they live. This passion for God to be glorified must motivate me to lovingly speak up so they have the opportunity to hear the truth: they are not okay apart from Christ. They need the Savior!

May God embolden us BECAUSE His judgments are true and good, and may we never wish away reality with sappy sentiment. This whole world will give account to God. With a trembling soul, I take great delight in knowing that God will judge, how He will judge, and what "hope" is really all about.

My friend, come out from under the judgment of God right now by believing God and trusting Him exclusively! His forgiveness is not universal, but by His kindness, it is available through Jesus Christ, His son!!

God knows how to rescue the godly

2009-04-07T09:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I admit that you are now helping me out as I think through a text that I'll be speaking on in two weeks, 2 Peter 2:4-10. If you don't have an open Bible in front of you, here's the text:

^"4For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but sent them to hell, putting them into gloomy dungeons to be held for judgment; ⁵if he did not spare the ancient world when he brought the flood on its ungodly people, but protected Noah, a preacher of righteousness, and seven others; ⁶if he condemned the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah by burning them to ashes, and made them an example of what is going to happen to the ungodly; ⁷and if he rescued Lot, a righteous man, who was distressed by the filthy lives of lawless men ⁸(for that righteous man, living among them day after day, was tormented in his righteous soul by the lawless deeds he saw and heard)— ⁹if this is so, then the Lord knows how to rescue godly men from trials and to hold the unrighteous for the day of judgment, while continuing their punishment. ¹⁰This is especially true of those who follow the corrupt desire of the sinful nature and despise authority."

This is not the kind of text that I would usually pick to speak from on a Sunday morning. It's kind of gloomy and troublesome. But I started 2 Peter a while ago and feel a strong sense that I should finish it. So this passage is next up in the progression.

You can read the text over and over again--I don't need to say much about it here. But here's my one point for today and the reason I write:

"God knows how to rescue the righteous from trials."

This is written, of course, about Lot. We're told a lot (no pun intended) more about Lot's righteousness here than in some other passages. The story of Abraham and Lot leaves us with the idea that Lot was selfish, somewhat unwise and a guy who made compromising his integrity a steady, slow fade. Based on that reading alone we might lump Lot into the OTHER category this passage addresses. (God also knows how to "hold the unrighteous for the day of judgment.")

Here's the story of God rescuing Lot:

While Lot's friends all turned on him, he offered his own daughters up to be raped and abused, his house was crushed and destroyed (along with his town), his friends were killed and his wife loved that scene more than God and was herself killed, turned into a pillar of salt (that is one weird consequence), yet Peter tells us here that all these things were the action of God to "RESCUE" him through his trials. (I told you this is not necessarily a "feel good" blog entry.)

I do believe that Lot was experiencing the natural consequences of selfish and unwise decisions. In other words, had he made wiser choices early on, "that righteous man" may not have been as "tormented in his righteous soul" by the sin around him. In this case, some of the trials that Lot faced were brought about by his own choices.

Here's the BIG question: "What was the "rescue" that God knew how to offer?"

WARNING. A couple of angels showed-up and told Lot of impending judgment. Through God's grace, Lot listened. Hey, while the culture deteriorates around "the righteous" and our very souls are tormented, I implore you friends, to LISTEN to the exhortations that line-up with God's revealed word. Listen closely!! The warnings of Scripture should be studied, prayed over and heeded. They are God's grace to us and the beginning of His "rescue."
HARSH JUDGMENT on the sin. Lot's family was extremely blessed to see that God, in his grace, is NOT KIDDING when it comes to judging sin. I want my eyes & Nikki's, my sons' eyes and your eyes WIDE-OPEN. What if you and I had angels come to us one night and say, "Hey this entire place is going to be judged tomorrow because of all the nasty sin." And then, after hearing this, we saw it happen just as the angels said it would. I'd like to think that would make me take God's holiness even MORE SERIOUS than I do now. God's harsh judgment against sin is an expression of his ability to rescue the righteous. It's an expression of His grace, too.
BIG GOD. We don't have a psychological analysis of Lot for our report. It looked like God was blessing Lot in unspeakable ways through his family (Abraham), choices ("Which land do you want, Lot?") and wealth. But then God moved in and took away all those "blessings" in order to rescue him. How did Lot deal with the death of all his friends, the destruction of his property and God's righteous judgment of death against his own wife? How did he cope? What was the process? A big God. "Lot, when life falls apart, cling to your maker!" This is my favorite part of the whole story. Oh that I would allow my life to be defined by clinging to the presence and promises of the only living God! I often see discomfort as a sign that God needs to be hearkened into action on my behalf. In Lot's case, the discomfort itself was a gift from God, not the absence of God. How did Lot feel? Terrible! And that in itself was somehow used in the rescue. God is big. Really big. Lot's feelings about the aftermath of God's grace to him are missing from the story--and I'm kind of glad about that.

So this post is already way too long. If you're still reading, wow. Amazing.

I'm certainly not predicting or wishing for this kind of display of God's power and holiness. I'm not saying that because of the sin around us that God's judgment is soon coming on our land--I'm not necessarily saying that.

Concluding thoughts: it may be God's grace to us and His rescuing hand to take away our stuff, destroy our culture and offer a visible harsh judgment against sin. If that comes, please remember with me that being rescued does not equate to being comfortable and rich. Being rescued means that our real citizenship and secure position in Christ is never in doubt, and God will hold us in His loving hand until we are indeed and finally "rich and comfortable" with Him in heaven, forever. BTW, there's another reason to celebrate Easter! Christ is risen and the rescue is secure.

God knows how to rescue the godly!! Happy Easter.

2009: Be My Valentine

2009-02-16T09:09:00.000-08:00

Okay, so this pretty personal, I guess. This is more or less an open letter to my wife. Read on if you dare.

I see Valentine's Day has come and gone for 2009. Valentines Day began with you and I having a cup of coffee together and considering the demands of day two of the "Sweetheart Banquet" at church. We went out together as a whole family to re-load your supplies for the evening banquet. From noon on you prepared at church while the boys and I took care of some picture developing and then went home. I returned to church around 4:00. Then you and I stayed at church until 9:45 together. You basically spent the whole day (from 11:30 a.m. to 10:00 p.m.) ministering to other people's marriages and providing an opportunity to share the Gospel with many couples (by the way, a whole team of people also did this with Nikki--thanks everyone!).

As I encouraged everyone else to honor their Valentine, the reality is that I didn't do ANYTHING on that day to honor you.

For a while, I made the argument that everyday is Valentine's Day in our relationship. I know I'm really short-sighted to say that. Now that I see it in print it's somewhat embarrassing that it even crossed my mind. Sorry.

You are my everything in this world. God has used you to strengthen me, to challenge me and to truly spur me on to a greater love for Him and greater works in this world. You provide for me friendship, love, knowing that no matter how celebrated or misunderstood I feel in this world that you'll be there at the end of the day to share it all with me. You are an ever-present reminder and expression of God's grace to me. To throw out wordy expressions of love seems somewhat trite and insufficient. You are me--and there truly is no me without you.

You know. I love you.

A "fan" of Jesus? or follower?

2009-02-10T12:59:00.000-08:00

It's ironic to use the word "fan" in connection with religion. Many use these two words together to indicate an insane and unreasonable person who takes a position on a subject that opposes their own: "religious fanatic."

I think there are too many Jesus fans, and not enough people actually following Jesus (sometimes I wonder if this doesn't describe ME!). What's the diff?

If you're a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers, you love them. At some point, many years ago, you watched their games with interest. Maybe you liked them because you lived in Pennsylvania, because your team stunk but the Steelers won the Super Bowl that year, or because Lynn Swann defied gravity. Whatever. You liked them. But over the years, your interest has grown to love and fanaticism. Now you have several "terrible towels," you have a different Super Bowl t-shirt for every Saturday of the month (congratulations), several unintelligible Terry Bradshaw autographs, and you even subscribed to NFL's "Sunday Ticket" so you could see every game, home and away. Over the years maybe you've spent countless thousands of dollars on tickets, parties you've hosted, and stuff. At the end of the Super Bowl earlier this month, when Larry Fitzgerald (of the Cardinals--this note is, of course, for the non-football fans among us) scored that touchdown with just minutes to play, you got a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. Some of you even cried. Okay. You get the idea. That's a fan--a FANATIC. They follow their team rabidly and are emotionally invested in the team. But you've never played one down of football for the Steelers in your life.

There are a few young men who were stirred at a deeper level than just wiping nacho cheese on their pants when they saw the Steelers win Super Bowls in the 70s and 80s.. These guys decided that their whole lives were going to be changed because of Franco Harris. They began to throw the football around with friends after the game. They learned to throw, catch and run the ball. They chose which high school they were going to based on the football coach and program. They began to get up early in the morning and hit the weight room. They skipped the midnight snacks because they wanted to be in shape for the morning repeats at the track. They missed out on video games and movies because they were at practice; and they missed out on parties and other nonsense because they took the team's code-of-conduct seriously. Their whole life was about actually PLAYING football.

Getting back to Jesus, I'd like to contend that we have lots of fans, and not enough followers. We collect books about Jesus, have canceled tickets from concerts, and "Promise Keepers" hats. We have been all about getting our picture taken with Billy Graham and even putting bumper stickers on our cars. (Disclaimer: no, there's nothing "wrong" with any of those things!.)

Here's where my own gut-check comes in. Am I following in His steps? Actually throwing the ball? What does that mean? Well, do I rely on His strength in prayer moment-by-moment? Do I actually wake up early to get to the "gym" of regular time with my Trainer? Am I actually denying myself and putting the needs of others ahead of my own? Have I chosen to not hold stuff against people who hurt me in the past (read: "forgiven them.")? Am I truly moved by and serving the needs of people who could never repay me? Have I identified and "put to death" my anger? Am I prayerfully and purposefully bringing the true gospel (not just some "non-perishable items") to the poor? Do I make sacrifices for God that astound others but simply make sense to me? Am I working at knowing God more (and LOVING it)? Have I given up even caring about what "people might think" about my love for God?

I guess this is the difference between fan and follower. No football follower ever got back from a hard practice and cared much about what "other people might think" of him for actually giving up his life for a sport--even a high school sport. Bruises, blood and even broken bones are displayed with honor. He did it with conviction. And football, in the final analysis, is stupid.

In the end, fanaticism (being a "fan") is worthless--for both football and religion. Even fans know this. Spending thousands of dollars on a team that you are actually NOT a part of is, well, worthless. But I suppose if you go into Jack Lambert's basement (he's a famous former Steeler), his stuff has some meaning. He's not just a fan. He's a Steeler.

So question to self: "When it comes to Jesus--Fan, or Follower?"

So "real"

2008-12-15T12:15:00.000-08:00

Did you ever have someone say that to you or about you? "You're so real." And in our postmodern world of touchy-feely, "real" has somehow become the most-valued characteristic that exists.

Now I'm all for "real." I am all for an honest evaluation of where one really is spiritually. I don't want pretense or church game-playing. That's all a waste of time. But many times, people go beyond this idea of real and embrace something much more earthy than honesty.

Examples? They abound: "Please do not . . ."

"Hold me accountable to get victory over my sin issue, instead, tell me that everyone struggles with sins like that . . ."
"Tell me to stop gossiping, instead, take my side in my dispute . . ."
"Show me the victory in Christ, instead, tell me that you understand how hard it is for me . . ."
"Hold back the details of your problem (Proverbs 25:2), instead tell all the juicy details . . ."
"Expect me to rejoice with those who rejoice (Romans 12:15), instead, I will choose only to mourn with those mourning . . ."

"Being real" is SOMETIMES code for loving juicy details, living in bitterness and even living a life of self-absorption--there, I said it. (And this comes from a guy who is way "open-book" with his feelings and experiences.)

I value being honest and sharing life. I am a HUGE community guy who emphasizes "being" over "doing"--sometimes to a fault. I love being together, sharing one's heart and coming clean with people. But I also know people who are so "real" that they never change. In fact, I sometimes use the "real" excuse to excuse my own selfish heart. Do you ever struggle with that?

Here's an alternative or two:

"Before speaking my mind on a subject, examine Scripture thoroughly." Sometimes it's me who needs to change, sometimes my words should be stopped and sometimes my opinion should simply be kept to myself. God sometimes calls real, "disobedience."
"Before speaking of someone else, examine Scripture thoroughly." God WANTS US to "CONCEAL" matters sometimes (Proverbs 25:2). He does NOT value sharing all my juicy details just because the world around me has become enamored with failures and problems. I'm not saying we LIE, I'm saying that sometimes we should take our troubles straight to God and leave them there--alone. God sometimes calls real, "unbelief."
"Before speaking at all, examine Scripture thoroughly." God sometimes calls real, "complaining."

God does not understand my sin, my constant failure and my unwillingness to change. He doesn't. He never will. He doesn't idly twiddle his thumbs while I share my constant failure with my "real" friends. God's love and grace has provided forgiveness and a way to change. Christ is the victory through faith.

So I love "real" people. People who USED TO gossip as a way of life but have found victory in Christ and are changing (though they're still not perfect), people who USED TO be lust-addicts as a way of life but have found victory in Christ and are changing (though they're still not perfect), people who USED TO be angry as a way of life but have found victory in Christ and are changing (though they're still not perfect), people who USED TO be bitter as a way of life but have found victory in Christ and are changing (though they're still not perfect), and people who USED TO lie as a way of life but have found victory in Christ and are changing (though they're still not perfect).

When Paul wrote about his past in Philippians 3, he didn't write much about the real details. He emphasized the "ideal" truth that he lived for gaining Christ, having the fellowship of Christ's sufferings and even becoming like Him in His death. Is that "real?" Absolutely.

Next time someone is "real" with you, ask yourself, "Are they (am I) using God's grace as a means to continue in their (my) sin?" (Hebrews 10:26; Romans 6:1-4; 1 John 3:6-9). If so, be real enough to challenge them, in love, to change.

So, be "real," but REALLY CHANGE! Otherwise, Christ's sacrifice is trampled underfoot and we make his cross and grace a mockery. Let's glorify his cross and grace by really changing into His image by His Spirit.

Words mean things

2008-10-28T07:35:00.000-07:00

I am amazed and frustrated with "the conversation" that is postmodernism and emergent church thinking. If you're unfamiliar with this discussion let me frame it up briefly:

The emergent church believes that the historic (traditional) church has so messed up the teaching of God's Word and living out of the gospel that church must be "re-invented." (The church does need constant pruning and growth, that is true.) They teach that God is so immense as to be unknowable, and when he speaks to us (the Scriptures), even the clear words he has spoken convey truth so imperfectly that we can't trust them. So (they conclude), what God really wants is for his people to redeem culture by healing the sick, relieving the suffering of the broken and ending poverty (etc.). In the end (some of their teachers conclude), they aren't even sure that the atoning work of Christ was necessary or efficient because they hope that salvation will be universal.

To characterize their teaching another way (I really like this quote from Kevin DeYoung from his book, co-written with Ted Kluck, Why We're Not Emergent [by two guys who should be], pp. 20-22--it's just ONE sentence!),

(By the way, if one or MANY of the contingents in the following paragraph apply to you, that doesn't necessarily make you an emergent Christian! I listen to U2, drink lattes and have read Stan Grenz and Brennan Manning and have couches in our student "worship center" [among other things]. And I might not be an emergent Christian.)

"You might be an emergent Christian if:

you listen to U2, Moby, and Johnny Cash’s Hurt (sometimes in church), use sermon illustrations from The Sopranos, drink lattes in the afternoon and Guinness in the evenings, and always use a Mac; if your reading list consists primarily of Stanley Hauerwas, Henri Nouwen, N. T. Wright, Stan Grenz, Dallas Willard, Brennan Manning, Jim Wallis, Frederick Buechner, David Bosch, John Howard Yoder, Wendell Berry, Nancy Murphy, John Franke, Walter Winks and Lesslie Newbigin (not to mention McLaren, Pagitt, Bell, etc.) and your sparring partners include D. A. Carson, John Calvin, Martin Lloyd-Jones, and Wayne Grudem; if your idea of quintessential Christian discipleship is Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, or Desmond Tutu; if you don’t like George W. Bush or institutions or big business or capitalism or Left Behind Christianity; if your political concerns are poverty, AIDS, imperialism, war-mongering, CEO salaries, consumerism, global warming, racism, and oppression and not so much abortion and gay marriage; if you are into bohemian, goth, rave, or indie; if you talk about the myth of redemptive violence and the myth of certainty; if you lie awake at night having nightmares about all the ways modernism has ruined your life; if you love the Bible as a beautiful, inspiring collection of works that lead us into the mystery of God but is not inerrant; if you search for truth but aren’t sure it can be found; if you’ve ever been to a church with prayer labyrinths, candles, Play-Doh, chalk-drawings, couches, or beanbags (your youth group doesn’t count); if you loathe words like linear, propositional, rational, machine, and hierarchy and use words like ancient-future, jazz, mosaic, matrix, missional, vintage, and dance; if you grew up in a very conservative Christian home that in retrospect seems legalistic, naïve, and rigid; if you support women in all levels of ministry, prioritize urban over suburban, and like your theology narrative instead of systematic; if you disbelieve in any sacred-secular divide; if you want to be the church and not just go to church; if you long for a community that is relational, tribal, and primal like a river or a garden; if you believe doctrine gets in the way of an interactive relationship with Jesus; if you believe who goes to hell is no one’s business and no one may be there anyway; if you believe salvation has a little to do with atoning for guilt and a lot to do with bringing the whole creation back into shalom with its Maker; if you believe following Jesus is not believing the right things but living the right way; if it really bugs you when people talk about going to heaven instead of heaven coming to us; if you disdain monological, didactic preaching; if you use the word “story” in all your propositions about postmodernism—if all or most of this tortuously long sentence describes you, then you might be an emergent Christian."

It's ironic that these people who say that you cannot understand God through his revealed Word use WORDS to object. It's even more ironic that proponents of emergent church thinking (I cannot call it "theology," for it is NOT theology) want to call their vehicle of "God-discovery" a "conversation." Why have a conversation if our words don't really mean anything? Why write books, post blogs, write out propositions (etc.) if we disdain propositional communication?

Ultimately, the mantra of this movement is that we don't, or can't really know anything certain about God (they say this in very self-effacing and humble language that you almost want to believe them), and that we are all on a "journey." In fact, it's very valuable to be "searching for God," but it's taboo to actually "find" Him.

But God can be FOUND.

Isaiah 55:6 says, "Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near."

2 Chronicles 15: 2b says, "The LORD is with you when you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you."

And while no one would pretend to have God figured out completely, we must agree that where he has spoken plainly about himself that we can indeed KNOW Him! In fact, Salvation is, at its heart, Knowing God.

Galatians 4:8-9 says, "Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods. But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?"

And finally, John 17:3 says it very plainly, "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent."

The Word of God communicates actual propositions about an actual God who commands us to know Him. To not know God is death (and destruction--final judgment).

I am not on a journey. I have been found by God. My search is over, and life is full. Do I have an incredible adventure ahead of me? Ya, I don't know which way certain roads will turn, that's for sure. But I am certain of my ultimate destination, which vehicle is going there and which vehicle is NOT going there.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He who has the Son of God has life.

May we not change the Word of God to make it "relevant." It is relevant. In a world of "maybe," God's Word is sure.

I want more!

2008-10-21T07:42:00.000-07:00

Sounds pretty American, doesn't it? More square feet, more horsepower, and more french fries in the value meal. More of everything!

But more of almost anything has always left me empty. More money? More friends? More days to live on this earth? I don't know. Is that what I really want? I definitely want to stay and experience life with family, love my wife, raise our kids, and stay "here," don't get me wrong.

But this life, broken and finite, doesn't offer anything that truly brings undying satisfaction. Even the sacred Christian answer, "relationships," don't bring satisfaction just because you have "more." I am reminded that Jesus wept when he had learned that Lazarus died. Why? As I've said in other posts, He knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead in like, 3 minutes. Why weep? Maybe because he knew that even if he did a MIRACLE, raising the dead to life, Lazarus was going to die AGAIN in a couple years. Maybe Jesus wept because he knew HE was going to have to die. I don't think so, though. I think he wept because sin and death were NOT the original plan. As Plantinga says it, this is "Not the way it's supposed to be" (check out his book, A Breviary of Sin).

My point? This world has NOTHING in it that will bring satisfaction to your heart and soul if you get more of it. More life? Paul said, "If I stay or go, it's all good" (my paraphrase). If I stay (he said), it is going to mean MINISTRY. Serving. Giving. Dying. Suffering. Building up the church.

One day we will see Him face to Face. No more weeping. No more jealousy, anger or pain. No more bitterness. No more misunderstandings, racism or selfishness. No more pride.

And so that's what I find my heart LONGING for today. More giving! More Dying! And that only takes place as I give Christ more of my fallen, broken, finite heart. Give it over to Him! Want what He wants! Less of me and more of You!

So this is what I want more of today. I want to give more of me away to God by pursuing a knowledge of Him and participating in the fellowship of suffering so that Christ will be glorified.

Why am I so BAD at this?

It's the only "more" that is "living water"--a fountain--inside me. It's the only "more" that satisfies.

Help me pursue You today, Lord!

everything

2008-10-13T14:24:00.000-07:00

My wife turns, well, the next year older tomorrow, October 14. To try to put into words what she means to me and how much I love her is impossible. I trip over my own words and never capture things correctly or beautifully enough to do her justice. I want to say what she means but it is like trying to draw the Grand Canyon when you live at the top of it. The grandeur of the real thing is real and immense and your drawing is quickly dwarfed.

Nikki is my strength, my joy and my life. She has defined my thoughts, my conscience and my breath. The thought of her impacts everything from which socks I wear (I really don't care if they match what I wear or each other) to wanting to give her reputation (I praise her in the gates). She is my dream and my best friend. She has nothing to live up to and she can fall from no pedestal, yet she is my all and impacts how clearly the sun shines on me. When things are right between us there are no clouds on earth, and when things are not right I search in vain for light. With her by my side I can persevere through tumult, and without her I can't imagine why I would keep going. She has grown sweeter to me with each passing moment.

God and His Word has brought us to this point. I do not worship her. Yet she has changed all that I am.

May I grant to her a portion of who she is to me, that in everything Christ might be glorified!

Happy Birthday, my love!

Ryan--I love that kid

2008-09-29T12:50:00.000-07:00

It's true, I admit it--I love my children. I love their childlike faith, their spontaneity, their zeal for life and the laughter they bring to my life. Nik and I often celebrate the goodness of God to us as we rehearse the days highlights (and low-lights). I gave them my sinful heart, so our children have a lifetime of war ahead of them. Bummer.

I believe I have learned more from my children than I have taught them. While I long to teach them about integrity, honor and love, they have taught me about my own pride, stubbornness and inconsistencies--especially as I relate to a holy God. I guess it took becoming a father for me to better understand God the Father. Better stated, it took dealing with children for me to understand my own folly.

Ryan (the son pictured with me on the right) turns 12 this week. To write all that I love about Ryan would take a lifetime. You don't have time to read it all and I don't have time to write it. I love his concern for God's created world--especially the animal kingdom, his sense of humor, the way he expresses himself (especially after you've won his trust) and his incredible sense of loyalty. He has taught me to watch out for the quiet heart. His tears have brought me to tears and I love it when we're on a family hike and he just has to stop to watch the frogs or catch a bug.

I remember the yesterdays, too. He had an amazing habit of sucking on his forefinger and middle finger together--back-handed--in such a way that was all his own. He's always shared his room with his little brother, and he almost never complains. Almost.

So as you turn 12 Ryan, I want you to know that you have your Daddy's heart. You fill me with joy untold and a sense of gladness before God that He gave you to me. As you continue to grow up I want to be the one who exhorts you and instructs you in the ways of righteousness. I want to be your first fan. I want to be the one out in front of you leading you to live a life that shows that you believe God, and that He rewards those who diligently seek after Him.

I love you my son! Happy Birthday!

The essence of being "saved"

2008-09-15T12:29:00.000-07:00

I have lots of Christian friends. Like anyone who has lived in the same small city almost his entire life (and at various times been a "member" of two large Christian churches in that small city) I can't go anywhere without bumping into several people I know because of Christian fellowship. It's great to see familiar faces and to remember the stories of God's movement in their lives.

With that said, I have regularly quizzed people about the nature of Christian fellowship. "What is the essence of fellowship?" or "What is eternal life?" are questions that I love to ask. I don't ask these questions to start a debate--I just wonder how people think about salvation, that's all. The truth is, many of us treasure different aspects of our salvation at different times. When life is hard, we treasure one thing about heaven, and when we lose a loved one, something else; and when we are thankful for friends something else altogether.

But what is THE ESSENCE of salvation? The one thing upon which everything else is built?

We know that salvation is a gift. And it's hard NOT to see the gift aspects of salvation when we begin to think about essence. Sins forgiven? Yes. Promises kept? Great. To see our loved ones who knew Christ again? Amazing! But none of these is the heart of the gospel. They are all gifts that accompany the essence of salvation.

The essence of eternal life is God. I am not at the center of God's universe, in fact, the essence of eternal life is understanding that God must be at the center of my universe. Because of MY sin I ruined eternal life both in quality of life and in quantity. Jesus said it this way (John 17:3ff): "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent." So in my own flesh, I do not possess the strength or will to gladly place God at the center of my universe. I won't do it! How wretched I am.

The worst part of life right now is not just my sin (which is my fault, my responsibility and my death), but the fact that my sin is the proof that I have rebelled against God and purposefully chosen distance from Him. And I cannot close that distance. The essence of salvation is the absence of distance between me and God. While it is WONDERFUL that heaven will include no sin, and no sorrow and my grandmother, the thing I'm looking forward to MOST is no DISTANCE between me and God. The goal for you and me is God, and the realization of that goal takes place in the here-and-now because of the work that Christ accomplished.

In his book, "God is the Gospel," John Piper picks up on these points (by the way, this concept is what we are studying in Senior High Sunday School right now, and is at the heartbeat of our year of "Dare to Share" in all of youth ministry at church). He says that the litmus test of us understanding the true gospel is this: can I imagine heaven (no sin, no suffering, no financial worries, no pain or tears and the presence of all my loved ones who knew Christ) without the person of God Himself? If so (he says) you ought to check the validity of your conversion. Heaven is not heaven without God.

The trouble of this world (broken relationships, death, natural disasters, etc.) are the SYMPTOMS of sin, but the root problem is my pride which is my declaration of autonomy from God. Eternal life is knowing God, death is pleasing self in the absence of God.

Oh God! Make me aware of my own efforts to please myself without you. Help me see that it is death to do so, and that I give away life every time I try. Let my lips be full of the good news, that the living and powerful God reigns in His heaven! All praise and honor to you! Knowing You is salvation!

love always hopes

2008-08-29T13:16:00.000-07:00

Most of my disappointments have come in life because of my own expectations. I guess that comes as no surprise. If you don't expect much you can't get hurt, right? The lower my expectations of others, the less they can hurt me.

But the longer you live in the land of low expectations, the more you pull inside yourself (and that's no treat, either, my friend). If you don't expect, eventually you learn to live without, and that's not Christlike at all. Love "always hopes."

The Christ-follower is forced to ask, "always hopes" in what? We could never be so small as to say that we "always hope" that everything will work out, or that we "always hope" that someone will finally do what they should do to make us happy. No. We don't hope in hope, or expect our spouse to be "god" to us.

Love always hopes in God.

But what does that mean? "I hope He'll work things out"? To some degree--after all, he does work "in all things for the good of those who love Him." But it means much more than that. Here are a couple of thoughts as we move into this Labor Day Weekend regarding "hope in God."

We vote our heartfelt conscience knowing that whoever is the next President of the US, God reigns over our conscience and soul.
We work with our hands knowing that our chief need--the need for forgiveness from sin by the holy God is D-O-N-E.
We work toward peace in our homes remembering that peace with God is complete.
We wrestle with expectations of our spouse or children, but quickly recall that God's expectations of us were settled in His Son on His cross. He speaks peace over me!
We actually have strong encouragement of heart when we connect with people in this world in friendship, but, glory of glories! be encouraged! in Christ, you are a friend of God.
We are actually happy when income exceeds outgo, but hope is constantly pressing on to understand that God supplies our every need according to His riches in Christ Jesus.
We are happier or more sad depending on feelings and days, which change. God never changes and calls us to rejoice in Him (it's really not a problem for me to say that again: rejoice in the Lord!).
No one likes physical pain and bad diagnoses, but we will all die. That's no reason to "mourn like those who don't have any hope." Hey (Revelation 2, church at Smyrna), God will call some to be known for persecution and poverty. It's gonna be rough. But the second death won't hurt a bit.

This Labor Day weekend I am absolutely basking in the knowledge that God has done the Labor which has won freedom for my soul forever. No matter the circumstance of life, God is life. When we hope in him, there is no circumstance that will rob our joy.

Death makes me cry

2008-08-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

I know I'm going to die. Though no doctor has told me that it is eminent, I have not had nagging pains, and I have no real telling family history, I still know that I am going to die. I don't have 60 or 70 years guaranteed. These could be some of the last words I ever type. God doesn't owe me any days, let alone 70 years of them. He has already blessed me with more than I ever deserved. I am grateful for this breath of air and my recent cup of coffee and the memory of the way my wife's hair felt this morning when I took her head in my hands and kissed her before I left the house.

I guess I have been closely connected with death most of my life. Like so many of you, I have stood at the bedside of the person about to breathe their last. I have stood over the beds of loved ones and barely-knowns as their shell lay lifeless. I have been around families grieving suicides, accidental deaths, and the loss of elderly parents. Two years ago my wife and I were called while on vacation and told of the death of a friend our age and asked if I could perform the funeral. In the last 6 months, we have connected weekly with a couple in our church whom we love who lost a child grossly out-of-order. God have mercy!

I hope that these stark words don't feel calloused to you. They don't feel morbid or calloused to me. I'm just saying, I know that death is real, and it's going to happen and it's going to happen to me. The knowledge of this truth makes me constantly want to live in the moment, remember and expect the best in people, and be ready with hope and help when they are ready for it.

This week a friend that I have known for 11 years and her brother were in the water having a great time at a lake. As the winds shifted and the current intensified, the fun quickly disappeared. A boy that she had known for all of 30 minutes was in great distress. Her own brother was in trouble, too. As she tried and fought her way to safety, and her brother literally saved a friend's life, pulling him to safety, the friend whom she had just met surfaced one final time, panic in his eyes. And there was nothing she could do.

Without continuing this story or giving too many of the details, I simply state that death is a terrible reality. It hurts. It breaks our hearts. It always separates. Death is our known enemy, whom we rightfully hate. And when it comes unexpectedly, it brings sorrow and grief untold.

I'm not sure I can bring this post to any neat resolution. I think of Jesus crying at the death of Lazarus, and I guess I'm just glad He was crying, too. Hey, this is not the way it's supposed to be, remember? Death has come as the result of our sin--and it's not a payment, necessary for one of my specific sins, but it's the result of sin in general. So when we see those tear-stained eyes of Jesus as He experiences grief like you and I do, we are amazed that He loves like that.

And if that's not enough, Jesus Himself dies. His heart stopped, His blood drained, and His body was buried. His soul was separated from His body. He gets it.

And then He rose from the dead.

Death makes me cry and Christ makes me joyful. Oh, why do I ever waste time fretting over the things I cannot change? The knowledge of death should have its work in me by God's grace to produce a hatred for sin and seeing things from my perspective all the time. It should place heaven in my heart and make heaven more real with every breath I take.

Death makes me cry and Christ makes me joyful. This is the tension of physical life in this world.

Excitement over weddings

2008-08-05T07:31:00.001-07:00

The truly Christ-centered wedding is an amazing, amazing, amazing thing, and I love them. Sure it's a bit over-the-top with all those flowers everywhere and people getting dressed up. And they are, of course, somewhat unrealistic--I mean, c'mon--everyone stands up when the girl comes in, people are crying, a very young couple is making promises up there that they truly don't even fully understand. Is that a good thing? Yes. And I'll tell you why in a minute.

Quick definition of "Christ-focused" wedding: All the music and ceremony focuses in on who God is and what He's done. The meaning and purpose and wisdom that we appeal to comes exclusively from the Scriptures that God has given us. The exhortation comes from somebody who himself is living out a healthy and Christ-honoring marriage. The Gospel is underscored (there exists no "love" between a man and a woman without Christ's love for His bride). The reception celebrates the couple and God's work in their life---NOT ALCOHOL! Many an almost-Christ centered wedding has been bruised in my heart because of the emphasis on alcohol. Why? Just go without the alcohol, people!

So why are these fairy-tale, over-the-top, extremely expensive events good? When they focus on Christ they:

Celebrate another couple who sees that God truly reigns. The church and the "foolishness" of Scripture are again exalted as another young person chooses not just to have a "church wedding," but celebrates the reality of their life in Christ. The church isn't "yesterday"--and when another young couple says, "I will live in and raise my family in the church," God is glorified and His promise to build His church throughout the ages unfolds.
The young woman's dreams come true and the young man experiences accountability. Seems sad to see it that bluntly, but it's not at all sad. The girl wants the romance and pomp of the event. Is it any wonder that young women are dissatisfied when the last time a young man is romantic is on the wedding day? The wedding day shouldn't be the end of the romance for a woman. And the young man should see his need to continue romancing his wife. All those people out there heard him say how much he loves her. Now he has to act upon that commitment.
The cross of Christ is lifted again. As I implied above, there is no love to celebrate unless Christ first loved us. I sat again recently with a couple who said, "We're just not in love anymore." The Christian wedding celebrates being in love (a little), but it celebrates LOVE a lot. Being in love means feeling warmly towards each other, making out a lot, having tons of stuff in common and making each other generally feel good. It's great to be in love. But that's not LOVE. LOVE is being committed to doing what is best for the other person even when it hurts, when you're tired or when you don't feel like it. Being "in love" cannot produce LOVE. But LOVING will always produce fresh feelings of being in love. SO when a couple tells me they're not "in love" anymore I usually say, "Good. Now we can test whether or not you LOVE." And if they don't LOVE, a new relationship (or an end to the old one) will never produce happiness. When the cross of Christ is lifted high, His LOVE is lifted, too. I am in love with my wife because of LOVE. The Christ-centered wedding celebrates LOVE.
Laugh at the idea that being "in love" is god. It is no subtle thing to focus on Christ at a wedding. It's in your face. And every person at every wedding knows whether the focus was on Christ or on "the glory of love." When the focus is on the glory of love the entire ceremony seems trite. We make ridiculous promises and hear ridiculous songs written by people who are all divorced and hate the contrivance of marriage. It's silly, and it feels silly to everyone present. But when we take down the idea that our love is rooted in our own ability to remain "in love" it's obvious. And instead of the awkward feeling has at a wedding where being "in love" is touted (the feeling: "These promises are a lie," "They're too young to really understand what they're doing," "I regret my own wedding because it's been so dissatisfying.") everyone has a different feeling. For those living under God's LOVE the feeling is relief and gladness that God truly IS. For those not living under God's LOVE the feeling is that the love spoken of by this crazy pastor is impossible. And that often leads those NOT living under God's LOVE to be angry at truly Christ-centered weddings.

So don't despise the Christian wedding for it's pomp and grandeur. Allow God's LOVE to once again amaze and grip you. Give up yourself and your cynicism (I have to give mine up, too!). Don't focus on the impossibility of the couple to keep their vows, focus on the amazing truth that God has kept His vows (and that power is available to every Christ-follower). The Christian wedding is another building block in the hands of our sovereign God.

God chooses

2008-07-11T12:05:00.000-07:00

I have recently enjoyed some lively discussion on the concept of God's free will and man's. The debate comes down to this: In the end, who is sovereign: God or me? You may not like to see it that plainly, but that's the debate. Did Jesus die just hoping that someone would trust him alone, or did he know who his atoning work would justify? I will make a few brief comments here and then copy a note I wrote to a friend after that.

Objection #1: "If God chooses then there is no reason for World Missions."
This argument says, "Hey, if they are going to get saved no matter what then I have no motivation to go." To that I say "Huh?" Motivation #1: God told us to go! Motivation #2: It's not just wishful thinking to think there are people in Genovia who will come to Christ (if I work hard enough and say all the right things)--no! God has WILLED that people of every tribe and tongue come to him. I go tell them in faith, not in my flesh. The great motivation to GO commit our lives to missions is that God has chosen some of every tribe and nation. Woooooo.

Objection #2: "If God chooses then why pray?"
This argument goes like this: "Since God has chosen those who will be saved and it is determined, why pray?" To that I say, "Huh??" If God allows uncle Jimmy to be sovereign over his salvation (by having the final say regarding if he is going to come to Christ or not), then I'd see your logic. Since Jimmy has "free will" and will ultimately decide to choose to follow God or not--don't pray. The logic: "God will not act decisively in any way to save Jimmy." Therefore, your logic is correct: pray to Jimmy not for him. But if God can act decisively and save jimmy, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! God is sovereign. Woooooo.

Okay, here is my response to my amazing friend. Feel free to comment.

Hi Aaron, great note, and great thoughts. I'm not fond of everything he does, but RC Sproul has a great synopsis of this concept in "Grace Unknown." I'm editing this note as I go to make it fit--sorry for my brevity . . .

1. Though God is not "willing" that any should perish, that does not mean that he has chosen everyone to be saved. There are different meanings to the word "willing." The first is God's determined will (like "every knee WILL bow")--this is a fact. The second is God prescriptive will (God wills that none should bear false witness--but we ALL do). The third, and I believe the meaning Peter has in mind has to do with his desires. God doesn't WANT anyone to go to hell, but that doesn't mean he has chosen everyone. For instance, you don't WANT your amazing new baby to face pain and wars and disease, but you know she will.

2. God himself tells us that the majority of people will not come to be with Him in heaven--which rules out universalism. Jesus said in Matthew that "many" walk the broad road to destruction, but "few" will walk the narrow way to life. "Many" will say to him "Lord, Lord," and he will reply "Depart from me."

3. As you are implying, if we accept the concept of a limited atonement, we aren't saying that Jesus' atonement was not SUFFICIENT for every sin of all time (of course it IS!), but that it is not EFFICIENT (or intended) to cover every sin of all time. In the end, limited atonement simply teaches that Jesus did not die in vain, merely hoping that someone would believe, instead, he knew going in that his atoning work would accomplish exactly what he intended it to accomplish.

4. About works, we must work. No one can say that Christ has made him or her alive but not work--otherwise, James says, their faith is dead and useless. So here we simply come to a logical sequence. The only sequence that makes sense is God quickens (gives spiritual life), we respond with faith and subsequent works. The great illustration: (Ephesians 2 and) Lazarus. What did he contribute to his "life"? Nothing but his corpse (which God supplied). How did he come to life? Obeying the voice he heard AFTER HE ALREADY WAS MADE ALIVE.

5. Logical contradictions. Since it is ALL of grace and all who are genuinely saved MUST work, we are here at an impasse that none of my college profs or favorite philosophers want to rest. I take great delight to rest here. These two concepts are not resolved in Scripture, nor in any writings from the dawn of time until this one (and I won't even try). And we simply accept that they are both true: it is all of God' grace and we must work if our faith is genuine.

In closing, let me encourage you to re-consider one phrase you used above. You said some are destined to heaven and some to hell. Let us remember together that we have all first chosen hell. We have gravely and selfishly rebelled against God in his heaven with our selfish and hateful ways. From the outset we have all chosen to hate God and to be doomed with Satan to everlasting judgment. So for each person who receives grace upon grace to understand and repent from his self-destructive shadow of a life, all the glory goes to Christ. He has graciously chosen to redeem SOME, and that is the fuel for my undying passion and love for him! I can love him only because he first loved me.

I love wrestling these things with you!

Jon

Thursday already??

2008-07-03T15:36:00.000-07:00

Our team took 2nd in our flight of the basketball tourney. Great job, guys!

We toured "Temple Square."

Did you know we set a world record for kazoo choir? 5,500 kazooers. We played "Amazing Grace."

Tomorrow we fly home. We've all got mixed emotions--enjoying what God is doing but longing to come home. Don't forget to put Sunday evening, August 3rd on your calendar! That night we'll be sharing, singing and praising God for His mighty works. Here are some pictures!

Wednesday Update

2008-07-02T08:07:00.001-07:00

This is the first time that I've had to actually write a blog entry. Thanks for your continued prayers for us!

I will list a few highlights because it's quick and there are people waiting for this computer:

As you already know, our travel was unbelievably flawless--praise God. Please be in prayer for the crucial part of our travel: Friday morning's travel to the airport.
Spiritually speaking, God is AT WORK. He's working in so many ways that I hesitate to even make sweeping generalities. I am most thankful to see the way he is transforming the hearts of those who are resistant to emotional ploys. Woooo.
We not only paid for tons of meals to send to needy people, we also assembled those meals. That was a BLAST! Your students worked so HARD. Pray for those who will receive these meals to find the GIVER of the daily Bread.
Today we tour the Mormon Temple Square at 2:30 your time. Pray for understanding and deepening passion for Christ.

Everyone is healthy.

Praising God with you!

Jon

More pics!

2008-07-02T07:58:00.001-07:00

Recent Pictures from Challenge 2008

2008-07-01T11:49:00.000-07:00

Tuesday Update

2008-07-01T08:32:00.000-07:00

I (Nikki) spoke with Jon again this morning, and the message he most wished to convey to you parents is this: Your kids are a joy! Their attitudes have been fantastic; the way they love one another is motivating and encouraging. Unfortunately, it's not like this in every youth group. We count it a joy and privilege to get to love them and your families!

Prior to Challenge, students were asked to give up discretionary funds to buy a million meals in order to feed hungry people, both physically and spiritually. Partnering with EFCA TouchGlobal, the meals will be distributed through the Evangelical Free Church of Congo.

This afternoon is our kids' ministry opportunity to assemble these meals. Please pray for them as they serve. In order to give the students a greater understanding of the world's hunger and need, all conference attendees will be served Red Beans & Rice for dinner tonight. Please pray for continued good attitudes and humility.

On a less serious note, our crew is supposed to pick up kazoos today so that they will be ready for tomorrow's attempt at setting a world record. Evidently all 6,000 or so will play their kazoos in unison to a song yet to be unveiled.

This may be the first time I'm glad I'm NOT there.... ;)

Thanks for your ongoing faithful prayers!

Monday Update

2008-06-30T08:36:00.000-07:00

Guest Poster here...Unfortunately, Jon does not have internet access at this time, so he asked me (Nikki) to fill in a few details for you, our praying parents and friends...

The flights out to Salt Lake City could not have gone any smoother. Likewise, the check-in at the hotel went like clockwork. When you consider a group of their size, that's really quite remarkable! Thanks for praying them through!

By last night, even before the first rally, everyone was understandably exhausted. Francis Chan (one of our all-time favorite speakers) gave a tremendous message on the holiness of God. It will be exciting to hear from our kids how God used that message to challenge and stir their hearts...

Jon imposed an earlier-than-normal bedtime on our kids and staff last night. He said they all awoke feeling refreshed and much, much better this morning.

As a reminder, visit the official conference blog for additional news and updates: "Sojourn ~ Challenge '08" Also make special note that tonight is the first of two rallies to which we will be given live access! The rally, featuring speaker, Jimmy Dorrell, and worship band, Starfield will begin around 9pm Central time. If you have broadband access, this is your opportunity for an inside look into what your loved one is hearing and experiencing in Salt Lake City! The second of these live video streams will be held tomorrow (Tuesday) morning.

Please continue to pray for...
* transformation of our kids' wills
* an understanding of how our kids' gifts build the kingdom
* a complete disdain for all things common as our kids pursue heavenly things

Thanks for your ongoing prayers, encouragement, and loving support!

Challenge Conference 2008

2008-06-28T08:28:00.000-07:00

Okay, so Nationals is taking over my blog for a week or two. I'll put all these posts under one label for ease and reference. We leave in 15 hours and I'm praying about our time away. I'm thinking about previous conferences. Thoughts from Challenge Conferences compared with Jesus' transfiguration:

1. Everyone doesn't get it. Remember Peter? This great emotional experience at the transfiguration and he was like, "let's stay here forever," and "let's honor Jesus as much as we we honor Elijah." Jesus rebuked them. Some of our students are actually bracing themselves AGAINST the emotion they know will be at Challenge. They are so tired of up-and-down spirituality that they see another person crying and they get cynical and sometime even angry. EVERY NATIONALS I've attended has had people of this ilk doubting the validity--especially 11th and 12th grade boys who are growing up. So pray for the SPIRIT to be at work, not simply heart-warming speakers to convince the heart. These students need a knowledge of GOD and His Word, not simply inspiration (yes, there's a place for both!).

2. Expect trouble when we get back. After the transfiguration, the disciples came down from the mountain with Jesus to find the other disciples engaged in a defeated and powerless experience with an evil spirit. They began to argue amongst themselves and Jesus rebuked them for their lack of faith. After the mountain tops comes the valleys. Please prayerfully prepare for this valley. When the disciples asked Jesus why they were powerless to effect the evil spirit he said that kind of work could only be done through PRAYER and FASTING.

So if you are tracking with us, please PRAY and FAST! Don't just pray for safe travel and a good time. God's will could be accomplished through unsafe travel and tons of turmoil. But that God would set His Kingdom in the hearts of our students! That they would see Christ crucified, risen the third day for the forgiveness of sins and live each of their days from now to the end for Him! Pray with us!!

We leave at 3:15 a.m., Sunday June 29.

The Rush

2008-06-23T12:42:00.000-07:00

Everyone wants a new experience. Some want to see the world, some want to climb a mountain, some want to sky dive or drive fast or master a trick on a skateboard (seriously), or "feel" something by drinking or smoking or snorting. Hey, that's the world you live in. You and your student struggles with this at some level. To experience, to feel is to be. Incidentally, this is also why young people have such a hard time overcoming sexual temptations--but that's a post for another day.

But, as Huey Lewis pointed out 25 years ago, we "want a new drug, one that does what it should." All of the benefits with none of the side effects.

God intends for you to have a "rush" in following him. Illustrations:

Your neighbor stops in for a chat over coffee. You've been praying for an opportunity to finally speak eternal words to her and she just shared how empty her life feels since her mom died. You feel the endorphins kick-in and know this is an opportunity from God: RUSH.
During the Sunday sermon last week you were convicted that your anger towards your teen aged son is sin. Your impatience is completely self-focused and based upon your expectations of his performance. You were reminded in that quiet moment that God's expectations of your behavior are often met with your own willful disobedience. Now it's Tuesday night and the trash is definitely NOT out yet. Will you boil over (again) or bring your thoughts back to Scripture?: RUSH.
You can't think of the word "father" without flashbacks and your heart beginning to race inside. You've told yourself that you've forgiven him, but this summer is another reunion that you're dreading. The dread grows everyday, and those closest to you are the ones suffering because you get more irritable and harder to understand all the time. Discussions about the reunion always end in anger. You know that Scripture helps you understand that forgiveness is a conscious decision to no longer hold something against someone, and that you are only enabled to do that because God has forgiven you so much. You are faced with a reality: forgiveness is a choice that must be chosen again and again. Will you?: RUSH.
You know that your relationship is inappropriate. But it feels (old drug) good. The way you make each other feel must be right! But every time you make the choice you live for hours and days knowing that you are showing the world around you that you really don't take God seriously. In the quiet moments you make the decision to clean things up--and this time for good. You'll see each other tonight (again). What you gonna do? RUSH.
If your spouse just did things your way, and in your timing, your marriage would get so much better right? Peter could not have been serious (could he?) when he said that a godly wife will make headway with her unbelieving husband if she just lives out God's grace and learns to take her objections to God instead of her husband. He's planning another summer of softball and boating. RUSH.

You get the idea. What if the big RUSH of the day for me had little to do with beating another level in Guitar Hero and had more to do with allowing the fruit of the Spirit to be tended and nurtured in my every choice? What if I were so consumed with this goal that it caused me to see again how far I am from that goal and how much I need God to work in my spirit in order to feel the rush? What if the people around me began to see little changes that show that there's less of me and more of him? What if my desires toward spending money (and giving it to others) were challenged as I ordered my life to live simply and give generously? What if the most exciting thing that happened this week was that I remembered to pray for my wife because I knew she had a hard day coming up? What if I left work early one day to go home and talk to my kids?

RUSH.

Honor Your Father

2008-06-16T11:27:00.000-07:00

Don't stop reading! Some people will read the title of this entry and elect to skip it. I hear them. Dads can be absent, angry, weak, abusive, authoritarian, critical or simply completely distant. And for some of my friends, Father's Day is only a reminder of what they wanted or hoped for or lost; it's also another day that makes us have to process the pain and sometimes scars of childhood.

Others are reminded of lost children (either physically or spiritually). How does one help another to process the pain of a lost child?

On this Father's Day I put forth to you the beauty and joy of honoring our fathers. I disclose to you that I have an amazing father. He loves God and has walked faithfully with him for 40+ years. The changes in his life have been evident as he has continually grown. I have seen him stand up for Scripture in difficult circumstances, I have seen him faithfully love my mom everyday of my life and I have seen him manage difficult circumstances within our family. I have a father who both deserves and his earned my respect and honor.

Likewise, my father-in-law is a man of God. He has given himself to the greater task: not building a kingdom in this world for a season, but building Christ in his wife and children. I have a father-in-law who both deserves and has earned my respect and honor.

But we do not honor our fathers because they deserve or have earned it. He honor our earthly fathers (in joy and in tears) out of obedience to the Lord. And it is that same obedience to the Lord that gives each of us who may become fathers the desire to be honorable in every decision.

To that end, I have paraphrased a portion of Scripture below which you will recognize. It is not a prayer to my earthly father, but a statement from my heart to him about my desire that he be honored.

Dear Dad,

I could never re-pay you for what you've done for me. So I offer you honor. I want your name to be made famous and in the category of "faithful father" around the world. In every area where you follow hard after Christ I am inspired and have been taught to do the same. As your son, I want to accomplish those purposes even more now that I am living life on my own as I did when we lived under the same roof.

Thanks for always supplying everything I needed on a day-to-day basis. Even more than bread, you supplied me an example of forgiving others when you were wronged. I choose to forgive others with that same kind of forgiveness as it reflects the forgiveness which Christ offers those who trust him. I will likewise follow your example in making good choices and avoiding evil.

While I cannot truly re-pay you, I do want to honor you in every way by allowing the story of God's grace in your life to continue in me. May I honor God as you have all the days of my life. While your days and my days in this world are numbered, truly we outlive the sum of our days only as we have devoted ourselves to loving and living God's Word.

Love,

Jon

Summer

2008-06-03T12:35:00.000-07:00

Summer is a roller coaster of highs and strange lows. No matter how I try it's in the summer that my schedule is interrupted most, my focus most challenged and my intentions to spend more time with my family tested. I usually start in mid-May telling my adoring wife, "after graduation things will let up." Then, as graduation approaches I tell my sons, "after the summer missions trip things will get better." And then, in mid-July, I tell myself that the summer is almost gone and nothing has changed (do I hear the "American Dream" song by Casting Crowns playing in the background?).

I used to take summers very hard and very personally for other reasons. Summer was also the time when I would notice how "my" former high school students were struggling to put and keep Christ first in their lives. I'd see some struggle with apathy, some with longing for acceptance and seeking their identity OUTSIDE of Christ and some, well with some I'd simply completely lose contact altogether.

That part of the roller coaster, with God's help, is actually different now. Several college and post-college students are making amazing progress in their faith and trust in Christ and I realize (mostly) what a buffoon I've been to feel like a defeated failure when they'd fall. That is as stupid as me trying to take credit when they soar on wings like eagles.

Our former students are sinful saints like me and Nik. I take no credit for anything they're doing. But I've spent the last several hours unbelievably humbled and captivated by the way many of them are walking with Christ.

One young man tours the country with his wife as they perform music to reach college students for Christ on campuses. They were in Egypt earlier this year evangelizing college students! I'm praying for you, Ryan and Holly.
One of my best friends in all the world began helping me (with his sweet, sweet wife) and my wife in youth ministry 10 years ago. After a decade full of God's leading and grace, he and his wife moved to Alaska where he serves as "Pastor of Discipleship" in a Christ-exalting church. Torrey & Clare, you're setting the pace!
One young man recently accepted a position as a pastor of youth at a church in Pennsylvania. First he's going to spend the summer helping me with a college Bible study and then I'm going to perform his wedding to a wonderful and godly young woman who will walk with him all of his days on this earth. I'm praying for you, Bennet and Holly!
One young man continues to help lead his Campus "Cru" ministry at UW Whitewater. Go John!
One young man has fallen head-over-heels in love with a woman who is helping him keep his eyes fixed on Jesus Christ. I'm holding you up, David.
11 young people (yes eleven!) are mentoring junior high students right here at our church this summer. That is one of the greatest sentences I have ever written. I am praising God for Jason, Danielle, Kyle, Alissa, Maggie, Grace, Sama, Eric, Joe, Craig, Heather and some of those mentioned above.
Several former high school students are dedicating their entire summer to serving Christ in a camping ministry setting. How many hundreds will they impact?? Keep your eyes on Christ, Steph, Kirsten and Cooper.
One young couple is considering full-time camping ministry as they serve God in amazing ways at their home church in Pennsylvania. We love you, Josh and Lauren.
One high school student is teaching my son to play bass (thanks Si!) and another is helping me coach another son's baseball team (the Lewis boys have come to the rescue).
One young lady is going to the Dominican Republic to teach at a Christian school. Go Kari!
One young lady was hired by our own church to coordinate our entire contemporary music ministry. You are doing a great job, Charissa.
One young lady served as a missionary RN in Cambodia for several years and is now considering her next steps. Way to go, Anna! Another young lady is serving Christ as she gets two years of nursing experience in St. Louis before looking to take her gifts and skills to the mission field. Move safely and keep your eyes on Christ, Sarah!
Another young woman is serving the Lord as a full-time missionary to Muslims with her husband. We're upholding you in prayer, Matt & Kate!
One amazing couple who served with us for several years in our Junior High ministry is finishing up their formal training in just one semester before raising money to go full-time and permanently to serve the Lord as missionaries. Have fun in Cali, Ryan and Melissa. Can't wait to see you soon!
One young couple is completing their medical education in Arizona and may someday be full-time medical missionaries. She's a PA and he's an MD (soon). We're praying for you, Paul and Allison!
One couple is serving in their church (the young man as an ELDER!) in inner-city Chicago. We praise God for Pete and Hana.
One young couple is raising their amazing one-year-old son as they minister to the people of East Boston. I am so thankful for you, Matt and Pam!
One couple serves in amazing ways at a boys ranch in Arkansas. We love you Jeff and Leigh Ann!
Another young man has recently begun to think about the possibility of serving in the US Armed forces as a chaplain. Keep your eyes on Jesus, Zach!
One young man is using his music to glorify God profoundly. Oh, make that three young men. Keep honoring Him, Zach and Nick and John (and Liz).
One young lady has been a full-time missionary in Mexico for several years. Her sister is following in her footsteps! We love you, Carmen.
There's another couple in Arizona seeking to raise their kids in the ways of the Lord. Keep it up, Zach and Sarah!
40 of us are going this summer to serve Salt Lake City, Utah for a week.
Many former graduates from our church in Columbus, OH walk with the Lord! Three are serving the Lord "full time" (Ric, Brianna and Stacey!!).
Shall I mention all of the others who are walking with Christ in such a way that AMAZES ME??? I named some and then realized that there was no way to get everyone.

So like I said, I take ZERO credit for any of this. Maybe this is just a reminder to me that when someone is struggling I must simply leave it with the Lord. When someone is succeeding, that is of the Lord. May we burn out for Jesus Christ!!!!

Keeping Constant Guard

2008-05-13T08:49:00.000-07:00

Everything steals are affections. One glance at my blog and you see that I really love coffee, running and the Milwaukee Brewers. You love stuff, too. My kids and yours see it. They know what we love most, especially when it's obvious that it's ourselves.

Colossians 3:1 says, "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God."

How does one "set his heart on things above"? It is a constant battle. I feel like I win it in minute increments and I lose it in a landslide. One can either throw in the towel or persevere with tenacity. Since I believe throwing in the towel is actually proof that we are not in Christ, tenacity is the only option. It's the tiring and harder option, but the only option for the Christ-follower.

I am required to tell my emotions what to feel. This is what "set" means. I am told to choose to place my whole being, my heart, in heaven. At first glance this appears ridiculous, doesn't it? "I can't help how I feel about something," we say, but Paul is telling us we not only CAN help how we feel, we MUST. Here are some common excuses that I make regarding my emotions:

That person makes me feel intimidated and inferior.
That person has hurt me so much that he makes me feel angry.
That financial situation makes me feel hopeless.
The pain I'm feeling must control my choices.
That pattern of sin makes me feel like avoiding God today.
That person's absence from my life means I can't go on.

To choose to set my heart on things above simply means I live right now focusing on the truth. I do not let life tell me what to feel, at least not for very long. Working through the above examples armed with the truth of Scripture and the fact that my eternity is sealed in Christ in heaven is an amazing exercise!

No matter how I see myself, the truth is that God has made me "fearfully" and "wonderfully" in His image. To believe otherwise is to call God himself a liar and to pridefully exult my "feelings" over what He has said (truth). I remember a moment in college when this truth began to grip me.

No matter who has hurt me or how much it hurts, I have never been forced to choose anger as a response. I often quickly choose anger, but that's my own sin, and not the other person's fault. The example we all most identify with here is probably our spouses. Their choices can drive us crazy if we let them, and they can certainly seem to "make" us angry. Setting my heart on things above means I quickly see how much God has forgiven me, how much patience He extends to me and how many times I fall short of His holy expectations (glory). But he waits expectantly at the gate and runs to me with His forgiving arms outstretched. He took care of His appropriate wrath at the cross. He also took care of my sinful anger at the cross.

Having your heart in heaven when it comes to finances is a large task. Do you feel hopeless? I truly believe that in the US today there exist very few people who are truly needy when it comes to finances, including you (and me). Most of our financial despair comes from two major sins: I want a lot (out to eat, traveling, etc.) and feel entitled, so whether or not I have the cash, I am going to do what I want to do; and I expect others to come to the rescue (because it's so blessed for them to give). You will always experience despair--and so will I--when I want a lot and hope others come through with gifts. What if I change my expectations and want nothing material and look for opportunities to give instead of receive? This is exactly what Paul was talking about when he said that he could do everything through Christ who gives him strength. He had learned to live with nothing (and to live that way contentedly). When I want more stuff I'm always disappointed. Always. Heart in heaven? teach yourself to pursue righteousness and God himself: godliness with contentment is great gain!

I have never met anyone whose pain did not, at least initially, affect their feelings. God made us emotional and uses our emotions just like he uses our minds (incidentally, read Colossians 3:1-3!). So we do not DENY our feelings, we re-train them. I truly believe this is why some of our older and most mature saints long for heaven so much. How do we live in the midst of a broken relationship that we are required to somehow try to mend? With our will in God's Word (dwell in peace as much as it is up to you), and our heart in heaven (Christ loves the person with whom I struggle and one day, when we are with him, he will perfectly be our peace!). Quickly confront your feelings with a longing and a love for heaven and Christ's presence which is both already and not yet.

I'm not going to touch much on the "avoiding God" idea. I think we all know how ridiculous that is. Yet we do it! Re-train your heart and remind yourself of the truth! Remind me to forsake and cast off that sin that besets us and enjoy the amazing reality of constant fellowship with the Almighty!

Every time I think of death I also think of Jesus weeping because of Lazarus' death in John 10. Why weep? He knew that he was going to call Lazarus out of there and go to dinner with him that night. I believe he was weeping because (as Cornelius Plantinga says), death is "not the way it's supposed to be." My wife and I have been learning that life in a sinful world is simply a series of not-so-well-timed "goodbyes." If my heart stayed in this world all those goodbyes would crush me. But (whether by death or by moves) I do not grieve like those people who have no hope (at least not once I finally come to my senses). Where this life is a series of goodbyes, heaven is a (to quote Billy Sprague) "long Hello." The bigger thing to lament is my absence from Christ. He's here for real, but not in the same way I am going to enjoy Him forever in heaven. Think of that! To be with Christ forever without a break in fellowship and to constantly be doing his will gladly! Wow! (And that's the same thing he calls us to do now in the Lord's prayer, "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.")

So it's a battle to re-train my emotions. Sometimes I lose for a while. But I will never give up! Let's fight this battle together!

This is a parent with a life

2008-04-14T08:18:00.000-07:00

It's an art, not a science, this parenting gig. As we continually learn, it's not a+b+c=mature Christian children. Every kid is different. Every kid needs you to raise them differently from the other. Every kid has his own will. Every kids spiritual life is 100% up to God (Philippians 1:6), 100% up to them (Philippians 2:12), and we feel like it's 100% up to us (Proverbs 22:6).

Many years ago people started throwing out the taunt, "Get a life." This taunt was used to communicate with someone that the taunter didn't think that the person being taunted was using their time or energy on things that really mattered. "Get off my back" was replaced with "Get a life." The implication is, "Don't you have something better to do than try to manage my life? Go live your own life."

To some degree, I think this is a fair taunt. At some point it became all the rage to live your life through your kids' experiences. Parents used to live their lives and then show their children how to live by inviting them share life. "I'll show you how to farm" (or befriend a neighbor or make wise choices or how to deal with anger). Today, however, I believe that parents view there role as going to live with their students in their student's world.

Do you know people like this? Rather than expecting their kids to see what the adults are doing and come and be like other adults, we see parents who are trying to be like their children. The result is that since we go to every minute of all their games, we begin to start living their lives for them instead of with them. Rather than invite them to become maturing young men and women, our parents are risking irrelevance by entering and living in their student's worlds. It affects how we think, how we spend our time (this is HUGE!) and even what clothes we wear. I believe that our students appreciate our efforts to understand their worlds, but they need parents who truly have a life and are learning how to share it.

Let me emphasize that we do need to enter our student's world, but not for the purpose of LIVING there. We need to understand their hurts, dreams and social pressures. But we also need to set the pace for our students and show them that the adolescent, sports-based, performance-oriented and looks-driven world is most definitely NOT the world which will drive our mature and adult world. The purpose, then, is to enter their worlds to show them the way to "our" world. But if our life is empty, uncompelling, irrelevant, or lame, they will not want to come.

How do you develop a life which is both relevant to your student and (more importantly) obedient to your Lord? This is the task of every Christ-following parent. I have a few suggestions.

1. Understand and live for your place in God's kingdom. You are GIFTED to build God's Kingdom, so DO IT. (Do you know what your gift is? Are you using it? If you don't know, ask your student. I bet they'll give you some good ideas.)

2. Be content with God. Many parents struggle with anger and dissatisfaction with God because they expected Him to do something that He really hasn't done yet. This could be a myriad of things, but it always comes down to this: God didn't do what I wanted Him to do. When your students see that you are discontent with God, they will be discontent with God, too.

3. Constantly pursue your relationship with God. Did you ever go through seasons of distance from God? I have. It's pretty normal, and there are examples of that distance throughout Scripture. But we cannot live with the distance, becoming accustomed to it. When we do, our life is reduced to morality (rules without relationship). When we have morality ONLY, our students will see right through us. Hey, expect some seasons of distance, and coach your students through them. But don't learn to live with the distance.

4. Choose to remain faithful to the people God has called you. Yes, I mean the local church. Get involved. Live life with them. Make those people your closest friends. You know what's weird to me? People who change churches regularly. And people who do that often have students who learn that when things get tough in relationships, it's the other guy's fault. My advice? Find a local church, get involved and stay involved. People will hurt you, but that's okay. As you mature you learn to deal with it and you remember that you've inflicted your share of pain on others, too. Stay with it!

5. Invite your student to join you where you are by living a joyful, committed and attractive life in Christ. This is a summary of the above 4 ideas. Sure, you have to share your kid's life, too. But simply living their life closely with them is not the goal! We share our life closely with them so we can coach them to become like us as we follow hard after God.

I hope these simple ideas encourage your heart! Let us walk humbly together, my friends!

Can a Christian Participate in THAT?

2008-03-17T08:27:00.000-07:00

Should I join the school dance team? The moves they want us to do are suggestive (but not as much as the music) and the clothes they ask us to wear are immodest.
Should I go out for the school play? The story line is basically ungodly and definitely glamorizes immorality.
Should I allow my boyfriend to ever put his hands on my body? It always leads to impurity.
Should I go along with my friends' movie choices? They all say they are Christians, too, but they often choose something that I (or my parents) definitely object to.
I don't really listen to the lyrics. I just like the music, but my parents really have a problem with the music I listen to.

I offered this teaching to students recently and several asked for the PowerPoint notes to be emailed to them. I thought I'd throw the notes up here instead of emailing them. I hope this helps!! May we be a community of believers who embrace purity, wisdom and Christ-likeness! May we approve that which is right and good and pure and throw off all that is not!

I hope that these guidelines become each student's own internal screen for all he or she approves.

These are my "Top Ten" Scriptural guidelines for "should I or should I not participate . . ."

Is it forbidden by God? 1 Thessalonians 5:22

If any activity or desire is forbidden by God in His Scripture, it's off limits. You may need to change how you think about it, exercise self-control, lose friends or deny yourself, but get used to it! God has given us boundaries because He loves us so much that He does not want us to harm ourselves or waste precious time on stuff that is useless. Examples? Movies that glorify sex and violence (Psalm 101), any sort of sexual activity (clothes on or clothes off) outside the boundaries of marriage (including homosexual behavior--1 Corinthians 7, Romans 1, 6).

1.Do my parents approve? Ephesians 6:1-3

This is the first criteria for any high school student. If you are not in right relationship with your parents, you can't be in right relationship with God. Of course, not every student has Christ-following or reasonable parents, but we can be at peace "as much as it depends on you." So if your parent disapproves of the relationship, the movie or the activity in question, it's off limits.

Is there glory in it for God? 1 Corinthians 10:31

The Christ-follower needs to be able to say, "I am doing this for God's glory." That doesn't mean that never put your hand to a task that is merely physical. There is great glory for God in many a physical task, from basketball to skeet shooting; from reading to writing; from connecting with friends to playing chess. May we be motivated by a desire to make much of God in all things.

Is it “of the world”? 1 John 2:15

Anything we take on that is simply something the world does--either because it's their habit or their vice should not be embraced by the Christ-follower. The verse referenced above says that if you and I love something merely because the system of the world places a value upon it that "the love of the Father is not in us." That's a sobering statement, isn't it. We are to be in, but not of the world.

Would Jesus participate? 1 Peter 2:21

This is a very difficult principle, isn' t it? Jesus did some things that were surprising. Though they were never his closest friends, he befriended harlots. When a friends' family wedding ran dry of wine, he made more (at his mother's request!). Yet, as the verse reference above reminds us, He is our perfect example. Do your best to answer the question objectively and honestly. Would he really?

Would you be embarrassed to be found participating when Christ returns? 1 John 2:28

Since this principle depends upon conscience, it's important to allow a pure reading and interpretation of Scripture build your conscience. If your conscience has been defined primarily by your past and the people around you, be pressed back to Scripture! All of us have a somewhat subjective conscience, and therefore we must not rely on "our own understanding, but in all our ways acknowledge Him," because He'll keep you and me on track.

Would you do it remembering that the Holy Spirit lives in you? 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Because the Spirit lives in you, God owns every action that your BODY does. You gladly belong to Him (right?). And not only that, He's with you at all times. When you surf the Internet, while you watch TV and when you're talking with friends as you go down the hall at school. He sees and hears it all.

Is it fitting conduct for a child of God? Romans 2:24

One of my favorite people in the whole world is my boss, Gary. He tells the story of a King's son who was out and about in the shire one day, dressed as a beggar. He did what he liked: wasting time, getting into trouble, etc. But when the young man was identified he was in deep trouble. Why? Because the King's kids have expectations on them much more than common peasants. Hey, your conduct always reflects on your Dad's name.

What affect will it have on others? 1 Corinthians 8:9

We can't LIVE our LIVES based on other people's convictions, but we can draw people closer with our wisdom and discernment in what we allow in our lives. The principle of "offending a brother" means I won't do anything that I know could cause a "weaker" brother to be tripped into sin. We want to build up, not tear down, right? So what affect will your permission to participate have on those around you? For the positive, or negative? Toward Christ, or away? Build up, or tear down?

Do you have ANY doubt? Romans 14:23

If there is still doubt in your mind after the above principles have been perused, don't participate. If you have doubt in your heart, than for you it is sin. I want you and me to HATE sin. To hate anything that resists God's will. I have tons of blind spots. In the areas that I KNOW I am sinning (or I at least can't say in faith that I am NOT sinning), I must put that sin to death!

Use this grid and pray for wisdom (Jame 1:5!), God will certainly grant it as you ask and keep trusting His Word. He may ask you to do bold things, but don't stray off course. If you halt between two opinions you will be like a ship tossed about at sea (James 1:6-8).

God help us walk in His wisdom!

Training our daughters

2008-03-16T18:48:00.000-07:00

I came across this article by Dennis Rainey recently, and thought enough of his writing to post some of it here. You can read his whole article here. This is the second and final part of an article that combines the idea that we must protect our sons from aggressive girls and similarly train our daughters to be biblically feminine. Again, enjoy!

Training your daughters

If you are raising a daughter, there are at least four things you should consider:

1) Equip your daughter with a biblical, healthy, God-centered perspective of her sexuality. She needs to understand how her clothes and her behavior affect boys. When girls are too flirty or too friendly with the opposite sex, they need to be told. If you witness this kind of behavior, rehearse it and relive it later on and talk about what it does to guys. Explain what is appropriate in terms of a friendly relationship between a young lady and a young man. This needs to be done without being rude, but we cannot let our daughters get away with being overly friendly or overly aggressive.

2) Moms, model what you teach to your daughters. You need to dress appropriately, the way you would want your teenage daughters to dress when they’ve matured. There is a mixed signal that is sent when a mom is telling her daughter to dress conservatively, but her own clothes call too much attention to her body.

3) Dads, actively love your daughters. Give your daughter words of affection, warm hugs, and gentle kisses that let her know that she’s sweet, you’re her daddy, and that no matter how big she gets and how mature she is, you’re never going to stop giving her those words and those hugs. No matter how threatening that may be as your daughter matures, you need to let her know that there’s a wholesome love through words and affection that occurs within a God-centered family.

4) Appropriately correct inappropriate behavior. Pray about how you should instruct her, help her, and correct her. Then begin to train her as to what is appropriate and what isn’t. This could be everything from how she looks at guys to the makeup she wears to the clothing she wears.

One of the most important things I did with our daughters was to go shopping with them. It was important for two reasons: It showed me how difficult it was for them to find appropriate clothing that is modest and fashionable; and secondly, it allowed me to give my approval or disapproval before the purchase was made.

Whether you’re a mom or dad, and whether you’re raising boys or girls, your children need your love and guidance as never before. They need to be loved when they don’t believe in themselves. They need to be clothed in wisdom that morally protects them like armor.

Teaching our boys to avoid aggressive girls

2008-03-10T10:22:00.001-07:00

I have never posted other people's stuff on my blog before. In this case, I am making an exception. Our sons and daughters live in an era when sexual roles have deteriorated. In the (distant) past, young men were supposed to take the initiative in relationships, but now, not so much. In fact, girls have become the aggressor in relationships and, generlly speaking, our culture applauds them for being aggressive. I came across this article by Dennis Rainey recently, and thought enough of his writing to post some of it here. You can read his whole article here. Enjoy this excerpt:

What in the world is happening?

What is going on in the hearts of some young girls that causes them to be so assertive? I think there are several reasons for what we are seeing:

First, the culture is supporting it. Movies, television shows, commercials, magazines, books … they all glamorize sex and intimacy and the right of young women to go after whatever it is they think will make them happy.

Second, we have a whole generation of young men who are confused in their own sexual identity. Are they supposed to be sensitive or aggressive? Leaders or helpers? Many young men today are not being taught how to treat a young lady with nobility, dignity, and respect. Many are growing up without a father or male figure to provide guidance. As a result, some of these young men have no idea how they “should” expect to be treated by a “real” young lady.

Third, the breakdown of the family has resulted in a whole generation of daughters who have been abandoned. And in the absence of a healthy, emotional attachment to their fathers and mothers, they’re trying to fill their emotional gas tanks with the opposite sex.

Finally, there’s little or no preparation for adolescence occurring among parents of preteens or early teens. This may be the core problem. When you ask parents of preteens how many of them would like their children to have the same experience they had in adolescence, there aren’t many hands that go up. But those same parents often become increasingly detached as their children move into the adolescent years.

Teenagers need training to understand the culture, peer pressure, what’s happening in them with their hormones, and what’s happening with the opposite sex. That’s why we have resources like "Passport to Purity" and "So You're About to be a Teenager" to help parents ground their children in the Scripture that anchors their hearts to withstand the winds of culture and peer pressure.

Protecting Your Boys

There are six assumptions you need to make in training and educating your sons in how to handle aggressive girls:

Assumption #1: Young boys are clueless to a lot of what is going on around them. They need to be prepared for the reality of today’s world, and this preparation needs to start while they are still boys. This is why I’d suggest that mothers and fathers talk with their 11- or 12-year-old sons about how they relate to the opposite sex before they face the temptation. There’s a much greater probability of success if you can have these conversations before the hormones hit.

Assumption #2: Aggressive girls will likely come into your son’s life. The problem is that most parents won’t know it, because teenage boys don’t talk about anything. But it could be taking place in your son’s life and he’s just not letting you know, so you have to pursue him in the process.

Assumption #3: You, as a parent, need a proactive plan. That plan will involve fathers and sons, but …

Assumption #4: Moms, that plan needs to involve you. You know how girls think and you can help your son understand girls in ways that a father can’t.

Assumption #5: With a son, this instruction, teaching, and call to accountability doesn’t end with the adolescent years. It continues on into adulthood. (And in my opinion, it doesn’t stop after they get married.) Why? Because there are women who are still preying upon men who are married, and every man needs an older man in his life who is asking him “Remember those conversations we had, Son? You’re a married man now, but that does not exempt you from temptation. How are you doing with that?”

Assumption #6: Your son needs a call to manhood. Ultimately, the call to a young man is to step up and become a noble man, a moral man, a spiritual man, God’s man. You’re going to call your sons as they move through adolescence to step up to maturity and step up to real manhood. And to do that, they need a mother and a father repetitively teaching Scripture and encouraging them as they do take these steps toward maturity.

I think one of the finest illustrations of this is in Proverbs, chapters 5-7. In this passage, the writer was reflecting back on conversations he had with his son about aggressive women. And over and over he basically says, “Listen, my son. Hear my warnings. Embrace what I say, because it’s important.”

The writer concludes the whole passage by saying in 7:24-27, “Don’t fool around with her, Son. Don’t go near her. Because she runs a halfway house to hell, and she has your grave clothes and your coffin, Son. Heads up. This is dangerous stuff we’re talking about here” (my paraphrase).

One other Scripture your son should be familiar with, and commit to memory, is 2 Timothy 2:22:

Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

I WILL PRINT THE REST OF THIS ARTICLE ANOTHER TIME, ON "TRAINING OUR DAUGHTERS."

Thoughts on Brett Favre's retirement

2008-03-04T12:27:00.000-08:00

I come from southeastern Wisconsin. We're big on lots of things--cheese, Brewers baseball, brats--all the stereotypes about us (for the most part) are accurate. There is no bigger ticket in town than the Green Bay Packers. From the storied past that includes legends like Lambeau, Lombardi, Starr and Hornung, to the recent past of greats including James Lofton, Reggie White and Coach Mike Holmgren, the Packers have had their share of incredible players and personalities. None has been greater than Brett Favre.

My purpose here is not to rehearse the career accomplishments of Favre--a million other websites will help you with that. My purpose is to help dads and sons to process this news: Brett Favre has retired. The 275 consecutive start streak that spanned 17 years is over. The only quarterback to start a game for the Packers in the memory of anyone under the age of 21 or 22 will never start again. What are we to make of this? Is there a spiritual lesson to be learned here? I believe there is.

Any opportunity that gives dads a chance to share their memories and heart with their sons is an opportunity to seize. Get a pizza and talk over your favorite memories. Watch the highlight shows. (Moms reading this, please stop snickering. I know you are. This is seriously hard.)

Life is about change. I'm learning that you can either embrace change, or embrace becoming irrelevant. You have a choice. Eventually the Packers and Brett Favre have to move on. Now is the time. Teach your sons about making decisions for positive change. Teach your sons about enjoying the comfort of the moment while holding their futures with open hands. Teach them that while sport is a snapshot of life, the real substance of life has to do with holiness and pursuing God and family and promises kept.

So, believe it or not, this day is a hard one for sports fans everywhere. Utilize this opportunity to share your heart and win your son's heart.

All of Favre's money and fame has created a profound hurdle for him in the long run. God doesn't really care much about touchdowns. For all of his personal successes, Favre’s great need is to be found in Jesus Christ. What will it profit you to gain the whole world, but forfeit your soul?

We thank-you Brett for unpredictability and unbelievable joy. We thank-you for your preparedness and tenacity. We thank-you for the way you lived your whole life right in front of our very eyes—warts and all. We thank-you for having a great relationship with your own dad. We thank-you for all you have been to the sport of life.

After you and your son sit in silence and all the words are spoken, slap him in the arm and buy him a Coke. Get over it. We will always cherish the memories. Aaron Rodgers can play, and the Packers may be better (especially in cold games). Out with the old and in with the new. Go Pack!

The first steps for a husband who wants to lead

2008-02-27T07:54:00.000-08:00

"Okay," you say, "I'm a man who wants to embrace the God-given role to lead my family. Now, what's the first step?" I bet I've been asked that question at least 200 hundred times in the past decade. I love answering it.

Christ compared a man's love for his own wife to the love the Christ has for the church--He gave himself up for "her." And then he goes on to speak of the unity that comes in the church through Christ's love as a mystery (something previously not known, but now revealed). That's where you and I should start.

Your neighbor and mine desperately needs to see selfless love in action. Your children need to see it all the more, and not just once, but as a pattern throughout your life. My children need to live close to this physical expression of a divine reality as well. Before you were married to your wife, this opportunity to physically show the world what it looks like for a man to give his life away for his wife did not exist. But now, since you covenanted to give and live your life for your wife, this is a mysterious possibility. The neighbors and your children can look no further than you for a faint echo of how much Christ loves his church.

So what's the first step? That's like saying, "make this mystery plain." It's similar to saying, "make sense of the cross for me: it's beauty, it's worth, it's shame and it's power." There is not one "first step" that is the same for every man. There are some generalities, though. I will try to be specifically general.

Do NOT first try to lead your wife. Instead, first resolve that you are following Christ. If we set out to assert our leading you and I will offer too much of ourselves--and worse yet, ourselves in reaction to what we THINK are the needs of our wives. That's a bad plan. She doesn't need more of the person that she wants you to be, she needs more of Jesus Christ being lived out through you. Therefore, in all areas, and through frustration, doubt and confusion, seek Christ in prayer and by His Word. Search the Scriptures. Allow Scriptures to shape your thinking and direction. Listen to your wife's counsel. The hardest part of leading is that we are NOT going to be held accountable for our wives' day-to-day happiness (contentment). We are going to be held accountable for how well we led them toward holiness. Therefore, as an imperfect person (with our own desires), our call is to listen to our wives' desires (which are also imperfect) and compare BOTH her desires and one's own wisely to Scripture. So we should not set out to do something so earthly as to simply assert authority over our own wives (we can do that sinfully), instead, we ought to do something heavenly, such as giving our wife less of ourselves, and more of Christ who is alive in us. As Wayne Watson has said, she doesn't need more of you, she needs less of you. She needs more of Christ in me. At every crossroads you face, your wife will be greatly blessed if she lives with a man who consistently and eagerly chooses to follow Christ. That's a lead she will follow when she is certain you are doing it consistently. This entire concept is based on Genesis 2. Adam followed God before Eve even existed. Men, if your wife didn't exist--how would you be living? Would Christ be central??

Find your maturity in gladly working VERY hard. A man must work "as unto the Lord." Hard work was created by God for man to take delight in both before the Fall and before the creation of woman (Genesis 2). I realize that God puts some of us through unemployment, infirmaries and even disabilities sometimes. However, every woman will find it extremely difficult (though not impossible) to be led by a man who refuses to work hard and gladly. Here are some practical questions: "Do you delight in the hard work that God has provided for you?" "Do you persevere in carrying it out?" "Are you convinced that you are completing a job that is building the Kingdom?" "Do you see how God has gifted you and are you employing that gift in the building up of others?" This concept is not designed to be focused only on your "occupation," it should also embrace where you serve in the local church. Again, Adam understood that his work was not first and foremost the way in which he provided for his family--God provided for his every need. his work was first and foremost an act of worship (obedience) to the Lord. Men, this is our call as leaders. Let nothing (not excuses, or people who are hard to work with; not even physical or emotional difficulties) halt our glad commitment to work. (Of course, there exist situations where work and/or service must change. If that is the case the Lord will provide another way to work gladly.) Again, if your wife did not exist, how would you be working? Would Christ be central?

Learn to separate "truth vs. error" situations from "good, better and best." One of the confusing situations we find ourselves in today is a man who has made preferences into principles, and has allowed principles to become preferences. Has this occurred with you? In some respects it has occurred with me. I know some guys whose children are extremely clear regarding which brand of vehicle he prefers ("Ford is better than Chevy," he says), but are unclear regarding his conviction to tell them the truth (he says one thing, but does another). I know others whose children know that his favorite cola is "Coke," but who listen as he calls in sick to work. When my wife sees this immature behavior she is not going to be compelled to trust me more or to bring me her precious heart. She's going to look elsewhere for support and help. You and I need a bit more substance to our passions than Major League Baseball (that one hurts, it's my favorite!), and NASCAR. I have cast confusion on my wife when a preference has become non-negotiable, but a principle is negotiated.

And finally, balance. Your children need the safety and helps that comes from a dad and a mom. This is the difficulty of any single parent. It is sometimes wise for you to listen to and employ the opinions of your wife, and it is sometimes necessary for you to disagree and help her with your input. For instance, your son wants to play football; he comes to you and your wife and asks to play--and you want him to play, too. Your wife thinks it's too dangerous. What will you do? It's not wise to simply cast aside your wife's feelings. Neither is it wise to go to your son and tell him that you'd really like him to be able to play, "but mom is worried that he might get hurt." I'm sure you see the anger he would cultivate toward mom in that situation. Whatever decision is ultimately made, it must be supported by both dad and mom. A young man who is held out of lots of opportunities because of his mom's objections will ultimately resent his Dad, not his mom. You may rightly come to any number of decisions about football participation, but it must be a decision in which you lead, fathers. Your wife will experience much happier (hopefully because they are growing 'holier') children if you balance her.

It would be easier to allow a wife to make all these choices while we sit by after a hard day at work and eat popcorn in front of the TV. But there's no "mystery" there, is there? No. I believe all of the above ideas are found in this one phrase:

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."

Enjoying one's children

2008-02-22T09:36:00.000-08:00

It's true, my kids are young--the oldest is 13 and the youngest is 8. I am fully aware that the waters just ahead of me in this stream of parenting are tumultuous and fraught with potential trouble. The words I am about to write in no way minimize the task that lays ahead of me, nor do they suppose that I have really figured anything out. I am a regular, Christ-following dad who has this confession to make to you: I absolutely and utterly enjoy my children.

A couple years ago I would have thought this to be an understood and rather inconsequential thing to write about. Everyone enjoys their children, right? So why put this confession into print? But it seems that many do NOT enjoy their kids. We often love them, we're simply not certain that we always like them.

To be sure, our children can try us on many levels. They magnify all the things we dislike in ourselves, naturally re-produce all the thistles that we despise in ourselves, confront us with harsh (yet all-too-often accurate) comments regarding our own motives and selfishness, and they even sometimes disobey.

If we are to be true to our calling to raise children in the "fear and admonition of the LORD," we must deal with these things--not first in THEM, but primarily in ourselves. If I demand obedience and respect from my children (which I should), then I must demand it (more) from myself (and demand this obedience and love toward God, especially reflected in the way I treat my wife). If I don't I will not like my children. I will see only my failures and shortcomings in them, I will demand only obedience from them, and I will miss out on the beauty of the opportunity I have to give myself to them.

I recently heard a man describe the task of being a father this way (and I love it!): "To be an effective father you must get a life [which tells God's story] and then share it with your children." That's it. That is parenting. That is the task of discipleship, fathering, and enjoying your children all wrapped up in one succinct sentence. Your children are not a burden to be endured, they are the people whom you have been entrusted with to train and live life with. God has given fathers the glad task of having our hearts re-made by Him daily and then to learn to effectively share that heart with our wives and children.

In short, I hope your children (no matter their age) are not a drag to you. I hope, because of God's faithfulness, that they are a delight to you. I hope that they will always teach me to praise God because of His grace (where they walk with Him), and cast myself on His mercy (where they don't). Hey, "children are a heritage from the Lord!" Enjoy!

Dances and Proms--what's a dad to do?

2008-02-18T12:37:00.000-08:00

Think back to your high school days. Remember those moments leading up to the dances? The planning, the anticipation, and the awkward moments when you actually danced. I don't know whether to try to forget, to completely ignore or simply to destroy any evidence of those days.

Truth is, I only attended a couple of dances in my high school days. Both were completely against my parents' wishes (one of them was even behind my parents' backs) and were ultimately negative experiences for me. The whole idea of a high school dance is now objectionable to me.

But when working with high school students and their parents for a "living," one must try to distance oneself from personal opinions in an effort to try to understand all the issues. I do try.

Please let it be known that I have come to the following opinions (and they are opinions!) over the course of many years and many conversations with students who attended these dances, and only a few conversations with parents. I have had several friends who are deejays, so some of the following info comes through them as well. Please note that there are very few differences between public school and Christian school dances. One Christian school I know won't hold school dances on their property, but will advertise (and thereby endorse) "parent chaperoned" dances on other people's property. Okay, here goes.

1. I have not talked to any Christ-following student who, after going to a dance, felt that Christ's name was honored as a result of the dance. Never. Not once. The atmosphere is difficult, the music is loud, the lyrics are perverse, the dress is often immodest, and the dancing, which used to be suggestive is now a bumping and grinding free-for-all that several students I have talked to call "sex with your clothes on." One young lady was mortified to learn that some of her friends compared how many boys they thought they brought to release while "dancing" with them.

2. The atmosphere of the dance is not realistic. Adult chaperones feel as if they ought to distance themselves from the students and give them "space." In so doing, what is provided is a peer-led conundrum of feeling our way as they go. Anything goes. Contrary to needing space, the goal of every responsible adult for their students should be to show the way to maturity, not to provide chaperone-less opportunities for all manner of inappropriate behavior.

3. Dancing in close proximity with multiple partners (even writing this makes me feel sick inside) breaks down certain barriers that should not be broken down. Personal space around daughters (and sons) is not something that one wants to encourage one’s student to give up. Not even for a couple of hours.

4. Some Christian students I have spoken to have argued that they want to reach the students at these dances, and that being there affords them the opportunity to show these people that "Christians can have a good time." To these students I often have this brilliant retort: "Huh?" First of all, the dance will yield no spiritual conversations. The music, the sensational moment and the drama makes dances feeding grounds for gossip and criticism, not speaking of Christ. And to the "Christians can have a good time" argument I say this: a Christian's DEFINITION of a good time is completely at odds with this scene. Our question is not "Can a Christian technically get away with going to a dance?" (or "How close to the line can I get before I actually sin?"), but "Why on earth would any Christ-follower define the above melee as 'a good time'?" (or "How far from sin can I flee?"). To put it another way, the definition of a good time will be different for the Christ-follower than for others. Christ following student, “What makes you happy??”

5. "But," (some PARENTS say!!!!!), "aren't we denying our students the fun that we had at dances if we do not allow them to go?" Or, "Isn't this a rite of passage?" To that I would like to respond three ways. First, what fun? As I said above the dances I have attended were not fun, and might be better characterized as humiliating, painful and regretful. Most parents I talk to remember their dances the same way that I do. Second, you may now (as a Christ-follower) be at a better place to make this kind of judgment than your parents were. And third, dances today are nothing like they were when you were young (face it, you and I are old now). For those of you that still think I am coming on way to strong, I have a challenge (I make this challenge with a smile on my face and light-heartedness in my tone; but in all sincerity): go chaperone your student's next dance. If you still think these arguments are weak (and they probably are), I strongly encourage you to go stand along the sidelines of your student's next dance. Listen to the lyrics. Watch the "dancing." Watch the guys and girls along the edges who are rejected. Smell the air (this is a reference to the alcohol you will smell). Please, walk in your student's steps.

In closing, please read here that this post is my own conviction. I do believe that a Christian parent can be convicted before God that their student is motivated to attend a school dance out of love for their classmates and a desire to impact them with Jesus. If you do allow your student to go, let that be your motivation. If this is your conviction, please attend that dance yourself! On the other hand, if you have simply given in on this subject, please gather the information for yourself. I believe you'll be glad you did!

For me? No way. Christians can have a good time. I'm all for that! But the dance? That's not fun; not even a little.

2008 Sweetheart Banquet--UNFORGETTABLE!

2008-02-15T07:33:00.000-08:00

Here are some of the participants in the 2008 Sweetheart Banquet. Below is an email that I received after the event:

Jon,

Pass our thanks on to the teens for a great Sweetheart Banquet. During our time here at the apartment complex, we met a husband and wife who were very affluent. In fact, the wife gets flown around on [a local company's] corporate jet from time to time. They have since moved out of the apartment complex, and, because their world is so different from ours, we have found it difficult to find ways to keep connected with them in order to share the Gospel. But the Sweetheart Banquet was a perfect opportunity. So, they came as our guests tonight and had a great time. They were impressed by the teens' appearance of having a special bond with one another, and they enjoyed your message. And afterwards, we were able to drink coffee with them and share the way of salvation in very clear terms. In short, the Sweetheart Banquet was a wonderful couple of hours of entertainment, and a perfect tool for our personal evangelism. Praise God! Thanks again.

Helping your student understand friendship

2008-02-13T13:44:00.000-08:00

"How can you say that homosexuality is wrong for everyone?" she asked, "He's my friend."

Have you had this conversation with your high school student? If you haven't, you probably will. Your student is at a place where truth has been supplanted as the most important thing; replaced with "love." But not just any love, the love that is felt between friends as complete and blind personal approval of all they do. In other words, a friend should always allow their friend to make any decision they want. "If my friend chooses to have sex with their current boy- or girlfriend, I approve . . . If my friend is experimenting with homosexuality, I approve . . .If my friend has to have an abortion, I support her decision." They are in the right because they are my friend--that's the bottom line.

There's no reasoning that cuts to the heart of this issue. After all, reasoning is just more of older people being caught up with being "right." Right?

If your student is a religious unbeliever he or she will even try to support their position with Scripture. "Don't judge them (isn't that what the Bible says?)" and "Forgive them." Christian virtues to be sure.

What's a parent to do with this issue?

First, you need to draw all of your strength and wisdom from Christ--His power and His example. If your student uses Scripture to make this case, do what Christ did--use Scripture and put it back into its appropriate context. Jesus challenged people's behavior ("judged") all the time. He challenged religious unbelievers (like Pharisees) most harshly, but he also challenged rich people and sinners. Students like to use the story of the woman caught in adultery as their grounds for approving of their friends' various vices. It's true that Jesus did not condemn that woman, but He also told her to "go and sin no more." Sin no more. It's true that he knew some prostitutes, but He called them to repentance and to follow Him.

Second, you need to help your student understand the impact of their approval. Share personal stories with your students of times when you gained boldness to sin because others approved of your wrong choices. Talk about the pain that you experienced because of those destructive choices. Any friend experimenting with something that would destroy them needs to be at least warned of the impending danger. Put your admonition in these terms. No friend can possibly stand by watching someone they care deeply about destroy themselves on purpose without warning them. If the friend continues in the destructive behavior you stay, you pray, you try to get them to change, you beg and plead with them to stop. But you NEVER tell them that their destructive behavior is morally "okay."

For example, I have recently spoken with a student who has a friend experimenting with homosexual behavior; I'll call him Jimmy (I call most of my fictitious people Jimmy). Jimmy says, "How can you say it's wrong." First and foremost, it's wrong because God says it's wrong (He made us, our world, and all the rules). He knows of the pain, brokenness and utter destruction that comes to the soul of the practicing homosexual. Paul tells us that no person who lives life in the pattern of sexual sin (heterosexual or homosexual) will inherit God's Kingdom (go to heaven) (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). So God warns that it will destroy their physical life now and their eternal life later. Second in this example, Jimmy, is the idea that you care about your friend. "I do," he says. If you care about your friend, then how can you stand by while they so permanently and severely destroy themselves? Even without Christ in the equation, that is what you are doing. If you value friendship, you can't stand by approvingly while they destroy themselves.

But we must stand by. I do love the way that student's loyalty to their friends causes them to stay with the friendship over a long time. It's a wonderful thing for a young person who can say to his (or her) friend, "What you are doing is going to completely destroy you. You are making one mistake after another. If you will change you will experience some peace and improvement of circumstances I will never accept your decisions as appropriate, legitimate or healthy. I am telling you this because I love you."

I hope you see the difference. What we value is to stay with the relationship while unswervingly holding to biblical values and teaching. That is love.

To be sure, no person not following Christ understands these truths.

What is friendship? It's not approving of destructive behavior while your "friend" flushes their life. It's challenging them that life is about something better than that. There are right and wrong choices that lead to good or bad consequences. Eventually, as your student perseveres, it is about introducing these friends to the One who can forgive sin.

Now that's a friend!

The Gift

2008-02-11T08:31:00.000-08:00

My wife is my best friend. It has not happened this way because we have personalities that click perfectly all the time--sometimes we can irritate each other. I love the fact that our personalities do mesh amazingly, but if that's our only criteria for best friendship, we will be best friends only for a season. After that my sinful will takes over, demanding too much and giving too little.

We have grown in our friendship a ton recently because our friendship has had to move way past the mutual compatibility test. Since our flying colors on that test change from day-to-day, we had to be best friends based on the covenant test. This test says, "I promise to do what is best for you all the time; even when I don't feel like it and even when I have to sacrifice to do it." Nikki is better at it than I.

Case in point: Sweetheart Banquet. Our church hosts a BIG couples' event (it's a big event, not an event for big couples . . .) every February. Our students sing, dance, serve, set-up amd tear down the whole event in order to provide parents the opportunity to relax and enjoy each other's company. We also strongly encourage these parents to invite their friends and this Banquet has become one of our student's avenues for outreach into the community. It's a big deal and my Nicole makes all the food happen for this two-night banquet. So when my favorite Pastor's Conference in the world (the Bethlehem Conference for Pastors) was being held in Minneapolis only days prior to Sweetheart Banquet, I was conflicted. I had resigned myself that it was simply not going to happen this year (or any year moving forward because since we moved the Sweetheart Banquet to a weekend earlier for 2008 [and liked it], it appears this calendar conflict will now be the norm). But Nikki all but insisted that I go.

She sees how the Conference rejuvenates and encourages my heart and wants that for me. Isn't that amazing? It is to me. In her most busy days of the year, as she takes care of the household, homeschools the children, and carries out her normal responsibilities, she adds a major, two-night, high-impact event and probably would have made the phone call for me to the Pastor's Conference had I not (not too grudgingly) done it myself.

Then, just days prior to these events I got ANOTHER phone call. A planning team I am on which plans and executes details for a 3,000-person student conference was having our evaluation and planning meeting at the venue we may move the conference to in a couple years. It was being held the weekend before the Sweetheart Banquet. The calendar result would have been my being tied up out of town 5 of the 7 days leading up to Sweetheart Banquet. I mentioned the planning meeting to Nikki after work one day. Her response? "Jon, you have to go. I've got things under control. Go for it."

Now I take no credit for this next decision. My woman has freed me up to do whatever is needed and would even cover aspects of MY leadership that was necessary for our Banquet. Even a dolt like me can see when he's about to make a grievous choice. There was no way I could attend both of these out-of-town events the week before our major outreach event. I chose to opt out of the planning meeting.

And so it is that Nikki is a blessing from Christ as she frees me up to whatever I need (or want) to do for the furtherance of the gospel (and plenty of my own stupid whims). The result? Her liberty makes me aschew lots of opportunities because I'd rather be at home with her. I want to be careful to not abuse her sweet liberty towards me. I want to do what is truly necessary and beneficial and then RACE home to her.

While the Sweetheart Banquet was a raging success no matter how we measure it (special thanks to my leaders Nikki, Brenda, and Lyn), my most blessed gift is not recognition from many of the banquet's success. My gift is my Sweetheart, herself. I celebrate Jesus Christ and His cross, which gives Nikki and me the power and the example to live out Jesus' love to one another. We'll never master it, but it's fun trying.

She is my Valentine.

Why Guys should NOT be BEST friends with Girls . . .

2008-01-23T09:00:00.000-08:00

I shared this teaching with students recently and have gotten LOTS of interesting feedback from girls and guys alike. I hope this helps you as a parent.

First, it's dangerous for guys and girls to be BEST friends. Girls need other girls to bounce ideas off of, get advice from and to encourage them in the way they should follow after Christ. I get that idea from Titus 2:4-5 where older women are taught to have their heart turned toward their own home, and THEN TOWARD OTHER WOMEN. Women are instructed to teach and connect with younger women. On a practical level, a young man who is BEST FRIENDS with a young woman is in dangerous territory (unless they are married to each other). The young woman's heart is won over by friendship/emotions. Also, I have seen SEVERAL marriages END because the husband became great friends with another woman at work, or the wife began to share her marriage problems with another man ("who had a listening ear"). If we don't make the distinction that guys should be BEST FRIENDS with other guys and girls should be BEST FRIENDS with other girls, we are setting up some marriages to fail.

Second, until someone gets married they should identify MOST with their own family, not other students--especially opposite sex students. A young man should act and think how his parents think until he gets married. Even if you go off to college, I want each to be thinking from their parent's perspective about how he relates to girls, what he does with his time, how much effort he puts into studying, what he posts on facebook, etc. I get this concept from Genesis, which says that the only reason that a young man LEAVES his family relationships (identity) is to "cleave to his wife" (check out Genesis 2:24). Young girls should also identify most with their family, not with some exclusive dating relationship. She should be understanding her dad, and getting advice about life from him and other family members. I know that many families don't have a dad who cares (or who follows God), and that's where things can get tricky. That's what the church is for (and those other female-female relationships I mentioned above).

Third, the pattern of Scripture puts forth examples of same sex friendships being best friends, but never of opposite sex relationships being best friends, except within marriage. Naomi had Ruth. David had Jonathan. Paul had Silas and then Barnabas. Jesus hung out with the 12 disciples--all men. He knew women, and even called them friends, but they were not His closest friends. Where there exists examples of opposite sex close friendships, they are FAMILY ORIENTED (like Mary, Martha and Lazarus, Esther and Mordecai, etc.).

Fourth, young men should treat all young Christian girls as sisters (1 Timothy 5:1-2), and none of them "differently" from the others. It's that special treatment that confuses a young girl and makes her think that something is there that may not be. This is a crucial point, for I AM NOT SAYING THAT GUYS AND GIRLS SHOULD NOT BE FRIENDS--THEY SHOULD BE FRIENDS, JUST LIKE YOU ARE FRIENDS WITH YOUR SISTER. I am saying that they should not be "share-everything" "best friends." So Christian guys should be friends with LOTS of young Christian girls and treat them all the same--as sisters. This is also how you find out what you really like in the opposite sex, and what drives you crazy--it helps you make the choice regarding who will be the ONE female BEST FRIEND, when the time is right.

Fifth (and finally for today), the reality is that each Christian man is completed by becoming BEST FRIENDS with JUST ONE CHRISTIAN girl in marriage. A Christian man will be best friends with one girl for life someday. I am best friends with my wife. I share stuff with her that I don't share with anyone else in the world (Genesis 2:18-25)--not even other men. God "brought her to me" and she completes me. You are designed to have one best friend of the opposite sex when the time is right. That's a fantastic thing!

A young Christian man is becoming ready for that relationship when he is treating all Christian girls as sisters and when he begins to have a life to share with one of those girls.

Don't offer to share your life until you have one.

For additional reading: "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" (Josh Harris) contains some of these concepts. I believe every Christian parent should be familiar with the concepts Josh advances in this book.

Everything I need

2008-01-22T08:06:00.000-08:00

I'm doing some studying this week getting ready to speak on this concept: there is nothing that I need for this life that does not come from God. Let me re-phrase that: anything that I am currently lacking in mind, spirit or heart can be and will be provided by God, and Him alone. He is everything I need for a strong mind. He is everything I need for a strong body. He is everything I need for healthy emotions. He is everything I need for life.

It's true that He can and does remind us of what we need through friends, so friends who follow God are crucial and necessary. My best friend in the world is my amazing wife who finds new ways every day to remind me of God's sufficiency. So in that sense we do need each other. But if friends would ever fail you or you'd find yourself somehow without them, He is everything I need for life.

Past relationships and hardships affect us and cause us to see life through certain lenses. We trust and mistrust people based on yesterday. We grow in understanding people's character and what roles we are to fulfill and how much of our hearts to entrust to others (or not). But no matter what you have faced in your yesterday (or this morning), He is all I need for life.

And as filthy as this world is in morality, you'd think you would need to help God, wouldn't you? There's stupidity and the throwing away of lives and the spending of self on all that is death. Wasting away these few days on drugs, addicted to anger and a hatred for all that is good. Even in the midst of this crooked and perverse generation, He is all that I need for life.

I wish that I could take credit for re-working the repeated phrase above from the text on which I'll speak. But I can't. 2 Peter 1: 3-4 that is translated into English in the precise way that I keep writing it above:

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires."

I LOVE life. And life is this--realizing that there is NOTHING I need for life that doesn't come from God Himself. His promises are SO precious! He's all that I need for life.

Comings and goings

2008-01-14T07:51:00.000-08:00

I love people. It's fun to meet them, find out all about them, hear their stories and then, if God allows, to share life. It's ironic that the art of relationships causes us to purposefully make space in our lives for more relationships, wisely avoiding getting absorbed in just one or two. That's the relational life that God calls us to, and it's the second greatest command: love your neighbor as yourself.

So it's weird when friends have to move geographically. In the past 11 years my wife and I have moved once and we have experienced a plethora of friends moving around the country and world. In the past several months we have seen friends move to Oregon, Minnesota, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Papua New Guinea, Missouri, and now, Alaska. How do you categorize the sadness you have when you lose the personal presence of friends and family?

First, you truly embrace the pain. It's sad to see friends move. It's sad to think that you and your kids aren't going to have the privilege of being connected day-by-day. Email and facebook have changed everything as far as staying connected, but there is no replacing personal presence.

Second, you release them. Most of our friends have left this place to go build Christ's church around the world. They have taken their gifts and talents to other places to love people there in the name of God and win them to Christ. Since there is no other mission in life, eventually I come to the place where I see their leaving not so much as a leaving, but as a "going." If it were just about living in a far place, the pain would be worse. The reality is that we are all sojourning (living temporarily) wherever we are.

Third, you direct your heart heavenward. One day we will all stop leaving. We'll be together forever around the throne of the King of kings and Lord of lords. We'll see Him as He is and never leave each other. There will be a new kind of mission forever.

If you must leave, leave to carry out the mission, the great commission. Spend your life on what matters. We'll persevere through the sadness and share pictures online. We'll visit. One day we will stop sojourning and we'll dwell together in heaven. But until that day comes, we love you dear friends. We'll miss you.

"Districts" Youth Conference

2008-01-08T13:39:00.001-08:00

My wife and I work in a local church and love Junior High and Senior High students. They are exploring life and finding out about who they can be. And most important, these are the years when they get to embrace their faith fully for themselves and begin to grow in their devotion to God through the grace of Jesus Christ.

We get to watch this transformation with each student's parent. There is nothing on the face of the earth more rewarding then being a part of the process of a growing, mature faith in Christ Jesus. We love it.

On a few occasions, we take students on retreats. Last weekend we led a group of just under 100 to Bible-saturated, prayer-infused, praise-oriented, growth-level conference known affectionately around here simply as, "Districts." To make a long story short, students are required to be at about 10 hours of God-centered meetings, and many of them elected to be at another 2 hours of prayer gatherings. In the 40 hours we had them, well over ten was devoted to learning and growing in their love for God.

The above picture is our group. We actually came together with other churches from throughout our state, the whole group was over 3,000 students! That sort of blows my mind. God was at work profoundly in our midst through Districts, and I praise Him for that.

My wife and I love exposing students to Jesus Christ. We love helping parents grow in their abilities to disciple their own students. We love serving our sovereign Savior together.

I count it an incredible privilege that God would ever lavish His grace on me and call me into the ministry.

If you're interested in more information about Districts, check out our "prayer blog."

Turning 16

2007-12-21T07:46:00.000-08:00

I remember turning 16 like it was yesterday. One of the great desires of every boy is the freedom and responsibility of finally getting behind the wheel and having the privilege of being able to take yourself anywhere your heart desires (as long as you have permission from dad and mom). When you're 13 it's still a dream, when you're 14 the day will never come, when you're 15 it's around the next corner, but that corner is elusive. And then it happens. I don't remember what I got as a gift that year, what we ate for supper or even if I had a party. I remember the driver's test, getting my picture taken and then finally holding the license in my hand. (Much to my mom's chagrin I also remember taking my motorcycle's learning permit test that day, but that's probably irrelevant here.) I was free!

Today I celebrate a better and more profound 16 years. I've been married to my best friend for 16 years. I wonder if I've grown to be the more responsible and skilled person that she needs over those years. My memories of those first 16 years of life (leading up to driving) are spotty. I wasn't aware of all the self-centeredness and immaturity that needed to be overcome so I was ready to drive a car responsibly. But over these last 16 years I am painfully aware of my self-centeredness and immaturity. I can rehearse many situations and conversations that reveal my real and selfish heart. Sometimes I wish I could forget. But the memory won't permit.

I will state a favorite lesson (without the use of bullets): loving Nikki is real freedom and responsibility. When a man loves a woman there is a fence and a fire that provides him real freedom for the first time. A fence which protects their home and hearts; and a fire that warms it. A fence protects as a man defines what he will and will not choose--he has made his choice and therefore all other choices are outside the bounds of the fence. A fire warms and makes him run to the hearth from the cold--it's his passion to fuel the fire.

That spoken promise which is 16 today really is coming of age. My word has defined me and provides a fence for protection and a fire for passion. I love the growing maturity, indeed the adulthood of my love for Nikki.

I know that I am confusing all my metaphors (driver's licenses, fences, fires). The consistent picture is maturity.

I am reminded that I needed more tending and made bigger decisions about my future at 17 and 18 then at 16. As I matured, I needed more tending and relationship, not less (and so does your teen aged student!) (and so does your wife!!). That's the beauty of the next 50 years. To tend my love for Nikki closely is to enjoy it's maturity, to embrace the wholeness and contentment that comes because of established fences and fires.

Nikki, I love you. I will keep tending the fences. I will continually stoke the fire.

Happy Anniversary!

Razing a garage, raising a garage

2007-12-10T07:37:00.000-08:00

Over the past month I have kept busy with the building of a garage. Our old garage was one of the old "Model T" variety--when there was a vehicle in it there was room for little else. There was about 6 inches of clearance on either side, and getting it in and out of the garage in bad weather was an adventure. The old garage had no electric. As things broke (the entrance door, a window), I was slow to repair them because I knew that someday soon I was going to replace the whole garage.

In early October a team of relatives and friends literally threw the old garage into a trash can. I thought we'd say "presto change-o" and a new garage would appear. Various delays, a vacation to Washington DC and life in general delayed the project. They were normal delays, but delays I really didn't expect.

On Thursday, November 15 we hammered the first nail. By the end of the work day on Friday, November 16 we had the roof boards in place. By Noon on Saturday, the 17th we had windows, an entry door and some soffit work started. A carpenter friend of mine set the wheels in motion and a crew of friends and family made things happen!

Fast forward to the slow down. Yea, since then, things have slowed down. It's been the slow and steady progress that has encouraged my heart. On Friday, November 23 my brother wired the garage for electric. During the week of November 26 the whole thing was shingled. On December 1 I made more progress on the soffit. The over-sized (and quite impressive) garage door was installed on Wednesday, December 5. The next day I pick-axed my way through 4 inches of frozen tundra to complete the burying of the electric line into the house. My brother came on Saturday, December 8 to complete the electrical hook-ups.

As of this moment I have a garage with electric, most of the soffit, a working door and lights that actually turn on. I have coiled up my 100' extension cord and already take the newly-installed electric for granted. I can now lock doors, therefore securing my incredibly valuable shovels and trash. It's a new day.

This Thursday, Lord willing, we will install the siding, and finish the fascia. The reality is that we probably won't get the entire thing sided in one day. Also, I have plenty of spring projects to complete (ridge vent on the roof, completion of outside lighting, installation of storage systems, a work bench of some sort in the garage, etc.).

This project has taught me that I can accomplish more than I thought I could when it comes to construction. Having a friend around who builds for a living certainly helps--and even when he's not around he is always willing to talk and give me advice. I feel like I have sort of been hiding behind the fear of messing up a project for a long time.

My hope is that this garage project does many things. First, I hope that it is first a wise use of God-given resources. From property value to the way we can now better care for our vehicles, I want this to be a stewardship success. Second, I want to make life easier for my wife and family. Less scraping, easier parking, and keeping them warmer because they can stay in the car while the garage door rises--that's accomplished. Third, I want to use the space to better organize my home life. I really want "everything in it's place." Using this outdoor space well should free up and organize indoor space, too, right? And finally, at some level, I want to take advantage of having a space to complete projects that help my family. I have a list, and a growing confidence to give it a whirl. We'll see how that goes.

This is a strange post. It's mostly the story of the garage that's not even finished yet. I guess that's fitting, somehow. I'll try to add pictures later.

A day in the life--afternoon

2007-11-12T13:41:00.001-08:00

In my experience it is very difficult to master the afternoons because they are so unpredictable and changeable. I am in the midst of a home project right now and the last three days I have been home in the afternoon have been spent thinking, planning and working on that project (I'll post about the project once it's finished). So I am all ears from any of you who can provide me a bit of insight on mastering the afternoon.

With that said, I have a few thoughts about things that might help me move toward where I want to go if I can implement them wisely. That's a big if.

Fathers, on your way home from work, plan to give to your family when you walk in the door of your house. I've heard guys say they need "wind down" time. I have a picture of "Elf" in my mind, sitting in a tiny little bathroom telling his father, "I just need some alone time, Papa." We are going to have to find a different time of day to get "alone time." In CJ Mahaney's book, "Sex, Romance and the Glory of God," he tells of his habit of pulling the car over and bringing it to a halt, then specifically praying that he would be focusing on the needs of others in the family before he walks in the door. I've been trying to implement this habit into my routine. Sometimes it's just a stop at a red light, sometimes it involves a coffee shop and a pad of paper. What did my wife face today? What key issues has she been dealing with lately? What kinds of issues are each of my children facing? I pray that God would give me insight into their hearts, and remind me that my role is to give myself away (even after a long and trying day) to them--that's what Jesus did. If you can walk in with a mindset of sacrificial love and service to your family you'll be right where Christ wants you to be (and a couple steps ahead of me!).
Meal time must be a priority. It's not just an old cliche. Your kids learn from seeing the kind of life you live as much as hearing the words you speak. To have significant relationship with them, you and I must make TIME for them (and make certain that they protect time for the rest of the family). Deuteronomy 6 spells out the way we will impact our families--through structured times and casual times; through specific teaching and real-life coaching; through pointing out areas in which they need to change and also allowing then to see how we continue to change into the image of Christ. I know it won't happen every day, but we can make it happen 4 or 5 days per week, right? It's going to mean sacrifices. I have met dads who quit the softball team they used to play on, found a different piano teacher (who could teach right after school), quit a community board, or even moved to reduce commute time.
Electronics go "off." It's not a hard-and-fast rule, but it only makes sense that if we are going to maximize the two hours between 5 and 7 that we are going to have to be available to connect with each other. Find the off button on the TV, radio, iPod, Internet, and telephone (yes, I am aware there is no off button on a telephone--you know what I mean).
Remember the most important thing. This is a reiteration of much of the above. I hate to break it to you, but most of our kids are not going to play professional sports or play the triangle for the New York Philharmonic. Also, we are finding out that attending your student's sporting event or dance class does not eqate to "quality time." In fact, in his book, "Shaping the Spiritual Life of Students," Rick Dunn argues that carting our kids around to those kind of activities may actually be building resentment in our student's hearts towards us. They feel like life has become about everyone else's expectations, and that they almost have to excel at sports (piano, dance, archery, etc.) in order to win approval. But they will all have to make crucial decisions about how to walk in the way they should go (Psalm 119:9-11). So structure your student's primary activities around the priority of family and godliness, not sports and music lessons. Your kid will find the one thing they were made to do and they'll go after it--and you'll need to support it.

I am definitely still working on trying to implement some of the above ideas. Tonight I will be gone at meetings and practices from 4:30-7:00--and it would have been until 8:30 but one of my meetings was cancelled. I am going home for lunch, but . . .

I know we are all working on this one. I'd love to hear your ideas!

1 decade later

2007-11-12T12:10:00.000-08:00

My wife and I moved to the city in which we live 10 years ago. Together we prayerfully accepted an offer for me to be a pastor to students. We have now served in this position for an entire decade. We have experienced some amazing milestones through the years: the birth of our third son, the coming of age of our understanding of what real "ministry" is all about (and it still grows), our tenth and fifteenth wedding anniversaries (among others), an earned Master's degree, and best of all, struggling through hard stuff in life gladly with the people of God. We love it here! Unless God does some kind of miraculous moving of our hearts, we may never leave (count this a threat!).

I read the statistics all the time about youth pastors and their tenure. They used to say that youth pastors stay in a church for about 2 years on average. In recent days I have read that their stays are actually briefer than that--some statistics now say a year or less.

God has truly been good to us to provide for us a place we love, people we love, and people who love us. So I begin this post by stating two things clearly: God's grace has sustained us and God's call on us has not changed. Some pastors truly are "entrepreneurs"--they start ministries, get them off the ground and then move on (biblically, these people have the gift of evangelism, I would say). So you hear me, right? We are the kind who has been called to stay, and, in particular, called to stay HERE.

So people ask questions about my role here all the time. Some of the questions are too silly to even write here, but one of them recurs regularly: "What is the key to staying in one church for a long time?" I start with the above answer ("We are made to stay, and have been called to stay HERE."), but they sometimes ask me to elaborate. If you want to stop reading here, feel free. If you care to see my responses, read on . . .

Plan to stay. Sounds a bit ridiculous, doesn't it? We have always spoken of staying. We made long-term plans and goals within our church community. We used words that communicated with the people that we are staying (get rid of any conception of "us" and "them" in your vocabulary as soon as humanly possible--it's just "us"). Don't pick fights over lame topics of the moment, or choose sides haphazardly, use words that will stand in 10 and 20 years. Choose the side of wisdom and Scripture, not who happens to be your best friend (right now).
Connect with people from every generation. I believe the biggest mistake that youth pastors make is prioritizing their relationships with students in the church above their relationships with the student's parents. That's a recipe for a short stay. Older people in the church often think the youth pastor is the one who acts goofy, dresses too casually, turns the music too loud and spends way too much of the church's money on stuff that is passing away. The truth is, we earned that stereotype, guys. With persistence, patience and sound character, we can forge a new stereotype.
Serve the parents first, not the students. Obviously, we are serving Christ first. We are serving the elders and senior staff who oversee us second. We are serving the parents third. We are serving the students fourth. For my purposes here, I want us to see that we must serve the parents before we serve the students. Set your program around the family's time and money concerns. Pursue relationships with dads. If you influence a generation of parents you will have significant, Christ-honoring influence over their kids for years to come (and isn't that your passion?). If you serve the students first you will not last long, and your influence for the kingdom will end the day you leave your post.
Pick your fights. No method (not even yours) is worth fighting over. If you think "it will work" but your boss doesn't, submit. I think it is quite ironic that we teach the students to obey their parents (I hope we still teach this), if we ourselves refuse to submit to (Romans 13:1) the authority over us. How two-faced and hypocritical we can be. And it leads to a short stay in ministry. If there is doctrinal error to fight to correct, make sure you have a specific chapter-and-verse (along with the correct interpretation) and then go in humbly and gently.
Change your expectations. Paul had a list of expectations that was a mile long--of himself. The list he had for the churches (regarding meeting his needs) was very, very short. If you have tons of expectations of "the church," you probably won't last real long--not at the church you are serving now, and not a the next one, either.

Seems pretty trite and simplistic, doesn't it? There's nothing too profound.

To the flock God has called Nikki and me: we love serving alongside you. God has been gracious to call us to you and with you. Thank-you for your gracious patience, your prayerful support and your helpful insights. May God continue to light our way and powerfully build His church through and in us. We love you!

Coming home

2007-11-08T12:38:00.000-08:00

I have a million things to say about Washington, D.C.--maybe more. Let me resort to my stand-by bullet method to summarize (For in-depth analysis and pictures, check out my wife's blog. She's a better writer, she includes pictures and she has music on her blog.):

There are absolutely no words in my arsenal to convey the movement of heart and depth of appreciation for God's grace that constantly swept over me while (and since) walking in the history that is our Nation's capital. None.

The founding fathers, even when Christless, led from a profound sense of duty and a passion to serve our country to the death. I was struck with the contrast between those fathers and the circus of rhetoric in Washington today. The day I appreciated George Washington's resignation of his commanding post in the army, and then his resignation from the Presidency (both times to go home to/with his wife, family and farm) was the same day Hillary Clinton was posturing for attention from the media because, after changing her position on driver's licensing for illegal immigrants, she cried "foul" over her opponent's criticism. We used to be led by men (and women) employed over a sense of duty and honor. We are now led by those who can market themselves. Politics has moved from the heights to the depths, approaching even the depths of the celebrity royalty found in Hollywood. This lesson is written everywhere in D.C.

The marathon was a wonderful experience, but my race time stunk. I am thrilled to have run the Marine Corps Marathon.

Quick snapshots:

Best single monument: For me, it was Washington. Like it's namesake the Washington Monument stands alone and tall as a symbol against our historical horizon of how we began to become great.

Don't miss it: I hate to stay on the theme, but, Mount Vernon. The history, the vision, and a picture of a man (Washington) who ordered his private life.

Bring you to tears (tie): WWII monument, Changing of the Guard at Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, my first sight of the White House from atop Washington Monument.

Want to, but can't look away: Holocaust Museum.

It was okay: International Spy Museum

Better than advertised: Library of Congress (do not miss it!)

Worse than advertised: Peterson House ("House Where Lincoln Died") Don't go out of your way for this. Biggest plus: it's free.

Bummer: Museum of American History: closed.

Nice: A bunch of exhibits from MAH on display at Air and Space Museum. I know it's ridiculous, but seeing C3PO--pretty cool.

Unbelievable surprise: The House of Reps (we had a Capital tour) took not one, but two votes on separate issues while we were sitting in the balcony. Thanks, Liesl, for encouraging us to NOT schedule our tour on a Monday!

Okay. That's the man's overview. Now I close with this "we know" capstone: I love being home. I felt a kinship with George Washington (all right, that is a bit of a stretch) as we dipped beneath the clouds in Milwaukee. I looked down over the glum November shore of Lake Michigan with a swell of relief, pride, love and joy in my heart. George temporarily relocated to serve his country, but he couldn't wait to get home.

Me, too.

The problem with the church

2007-10-23T14:09:00.000-07:00

That's a hefty title isn't it? Here's my thought for the day (inspired as I was reading my brother-in-law's doctoral dissertation): with all of the shortcomings of her, the church is dramatically and totally loved with the everlasting love of the Son of God. Christ didn't die for my neighborhood or me "alone." (By the way, if I hear the statement that "if you were the only person on the face of the earth, Jesus would have died for you anyway"--where did anyone ever get that and why do we say that?? it's ridiculous because it's hypothetical and not supported by Scripture.) He died for His bride, the Church.

The problem with the church is that I don't love her enough. With my every desire to redeem her, to build her, to love her, my love for her is not enough. It pales in comparison with the love I should have.

I'm through treating the church as if she's optional. I've been through for a long time with poking my embarrassing critical remarks about her. I love Christ's bride with all my heart. I will use my weak giftedness to build her up, teach her and proclaim the gospel in her midst in obedience to the Lord's command. To love Christ is to love His bride.

Where she falls short, pray for her. Where there is sin cover and rebuke it in love.

My friend, love your Christ-exalting, Bible-saturated, ministry-minded, Spirit-led, service-loving gathering of believers--shortcomings and all. Christ does.

6 days to Marathon

2007-10-22T07:28:00.000-07:00

6 days and counting until the start of the 2007 Marine Corps Marathon. I made plans to sign up for this race over a year ago when I first decided that I wanted to run one of the big marathons and that I wanted to make my wife's dream of visiting DC come true. The MCM opened registration on May 9. At that point I was just days away from completing my second marathon. I had to be among the first who completed the online registration for the 2007 MCM.

So it's been another season of getting ready for a marathon. I have logged over 1,000 miles so far this year (which looks like a lot, but it averages out to 25 miles per week--light by most marathon training standards). I have trained in such a way as to be able to use the same pair of shoes for the MCM that I used in May for the CellCom Green Bay Marathon.

This week I will obsess over every little detail (I am embarrassed to admit that I clipped my toenails for the last pre-race time 4 days ago, I have been refusing to play basketball with a bunch of high school kids because of injury risk, and I am sure that my carry-on will be full of running gear that will be packed "just in case"). Yes, I have checked www.weather.gov's forecast for the DC area (they say 50 and clear at the race starting line). The race doesn't have CliffShot's until mile 13, so (of course) I'll have to bring several of my own to get me through mile 13.

And now, the goal. My marathon PR is 3:34:48. I hope to run the MCM in 3:30. I really don't care if I go slower, though.

I will be starting at the Pentagon--the world headquarters of the greatest military in the world. If the Capitol is the US's "brain" (insert joke here), the Pentagon is its heart. I will run past the neat white dominoes of Arlington Cemetery and the 250,000 men and women buried there. You name the monument, I'm running past it--including a finish at Iwo Jima, the Marine Corps monument. My real goal: to soak all these monuments in, reflecting on God's grace to this country with every step. I am brought near tears just reflecting on this now (I will also run past a reflecting pool . . .).

I can't wait to experience each of those monuments in greater detail with my amazing wife and children (and my wife's amazing parents--my father-in-law is running the MCM with me!). This little trip has become less about the marathon and more about sharing life as a family and being together. Our hearts are tied together, and I can't wait to learn more about God's grace with each step we take together.

In six days the marathon will be history. Just another website with my name and splits on it. The significance of it will be simply how it fits into the story of God's grace in my life. I hate to be so cliche, but as running becomes history, it has significance only as it aids me in telling "His story" with mine. Nothing else.

So what have I learned? That my goal has absolutely nothing to do with running. I want to be a Christ-follower in a way that leads my wife and kids to Him. I want to be healthy as long as possible. For me to live is Christ, to die is gain. For me to go on living means ministry to the people around me as I follow Christ.

I'd love to keep experiencing marathons around the country (world?) as a part of my family vacations. The truth is, I already feel incredibly selfish in thinking this way.

Is there another marathon in my future? I hope so. I'm not going to say "next year I'll go to this city or that" and run their marathon. But I will say, if it is the Lord's will I will do such and such.

But what if I could take my next vacation to a place that is all about my wife's dreams? Now that is a goal to shoot for!

A day in the life--morning

2007-10-17T11:31:00.000-07:00

What does a day in the life of a godly husband and father look like? Sometimes it is this crucial and simple question that is the one we don't want to answer because we know the answer will have to spark change in us if we truly call Jesus, "Lord." While I do not pretend to label myself "godly," yet a day in the life of a godly husband and father is accessible because Scripture gives it to us. As God as my help I want to strive to become a godly husband and father.

So I thought I'd just pick the three crucial times of the day, morning, supper and bed time and write out some thoughts about those times. I may write some thoughts about history and some about Scripture and some about the reality of 21st Century living. Hopefully I'll remind myself to keep striving for Christ and help you, too.

MORNING

The battle for the morning is won or lost the night before--I believe that with my whole heart. Jerry Seinfeld boils it down to a battle between our two inner selves, "night guy," and "morning guy." Night guy stays up and stays out. He doesn't care what sort of messy situation or tired state that he leaves morning guy in. That doesn't concern him. He just wants to have fun. Morning after morning, morning guy drags himself tiredly out of bed and tries to make a go of it at work and in the real world. He gets sick, makes new resolutions and generally tells himself that he's going to change. But night guy keeps staying up too late. Eventually, Seinfeld says, morning guy's only recourse is to go to work late often enough to get fired so night guy doesn't have any money left to go out with. This points up my first thought about the morning.

In order to get up at a decent hour (before the children), you have to know how much sleep you need. Then go to bed, allowing yourself the time you need to sleep.

I have never been a "morning person." I am a night owl. However, in an effort to be the person that I need to be I knew that I had to change. At first it was one failure after another, and I kept telling myself I had to "do devotions" when I was most fresh (later in the day). I found out that I could be fresher than I thought in the morning if I won the battle for a decent bedtime. I looked at the natural rhythms of life (it makes sense that God made us to sleep when it gets dark and to get up when the sun comes up, doesn't it? I know that makes it weird for people who live at the equator or in Alaska . . .). So while I am changing, I still have to change more.

In almost every case of depression that I have tried to disciple someone through, sleep patterns has been a part of the issue. Sometimes it was truly an insomnia--usually having its roots in apprehensions and fears about tomorrow (Matthew 6 addresses this fear issue). Sometimes it was just that old excuse about being a night person. Either way, the ongoing lack of sleep made the depression worse.

I wrestle a bit with winning this battle, so I am not preaching to you as much as myself. In order to get up by 6:00 a.m. (which does not seem unreasonable), I need to be asleep by 11:00. That means I need to be in bed by 10:30. I've got to have three hours in the morning before work begins for the day. Simple. But if I do not do this, one of two things happens: either I begin to operate out of a deficit (I get more and more tired as the week progresses) or I begin to (horror of horrors) oversleep.

You probably don't have the flexibility I do with what occurs throughout the morning. I work things out in my schedule to protect my mornings (in other words, I usually don't schedule things in the office until 9:00). I need to spend time alone in the morning to be ready to be with people all day long. We all need to have that time to meditate, pray and read Scripture. If I am not renewed of spirit, heart and body in the morning before the Lord, it's going to be tough day. It's the morning or not at all when it comes to this kind of soul-satisfying time alone with God.

I need to be returning from my run by 8:00 so I can connect (at least a bit!) with my wife and kids before I miss out (I hate it when I cut all the corners and wind up running out the door with breakfast in my hand). On the days when I oversleep or skip the run or fail to read Scriptures I live with such guilt. A man should own his mornings! I have come far on this in the last couple years, but I know I can do better--much better.

Finally, why? Why get up early enough to be able to accomplish important (if focused mostly on my soul's health), but (some would say) optional tasks? Because my people (family) need me, and yours need you. They need me to be sound-minded and spiritually refreshed. They need me to be seeking God. They need me to be physically healthy. They need me to be pursuing God so they get a sense of what it looks like to follow God. They need me to do God's will and to fight temptation. They need me to have good judgment and fresh perspective. They need me to live my whole life without remorse, regrets and the painful pattern of laziness. In fact, laziness is a factor that puts huge pressure on a marriage.

For me, the morning is the moments of solitude and refreshment that I must have to remain alive. God's Word, and specifically His lovingkindness, is better than life itself. God's creation is a reminder and a sign to me of His eternal attributes and power. God's presences is what you and I were made to enjoy.

So husbands, and dads, join me in this effort in faith to win the day by winning the morning. I'll write about the afternoons and evenings later, and I will remind myself again about why those moments alone with the Lord in the morning are so crucial later in the day.

Simply happy

2007-10-10T09:39:00.000-07:00

What makes you happy? What "floods your soul with joy"? I have met people that would struggle for long periods of time to answer this question. The inspiration of my wife is what makes me stop and think about this. Otherwise, I would just walk through life with a smile on my face. She inspires me to think hard about what it is that keeps me happy. Here are a few thoughts on the subject . . .

Living a life of genuineness and authenticity with my beloved wife. No secrets. No fear of confrontation. No avoidance. All of me all the time for all of her. We share everything. While I love sharing lots of things with others, too, I love how much that is just between us and God.
Even more than that (imagine!), is knowing that I walk daily in right relationship with God. He has paid for my sin and calls me to live boldly within the relationship that He established and maintains. I glory in the grace of God! I can only have right and healthy thinking as my thinking dwells on His truth. Where I have emotional and physical health it is an echo of His mind and a gift from His hand.
My children are amazing. I know there will be roads and bridges that we travail together in deliberate fashion. I know that I will have to be become weaker and weaker to depend more on God through prayer. I even know that there is heartache ahead--whether through "owning" hard moments or just letting go. Bring on the pain! God will be there with me in it. I embrace God's order and live with an understanding that they belong to Him (at least I think I do--talk to me in 8 years!).
The simple list (random order):

My favorite: pushing myself to surge in mile 4 of a 6 mile tempo run and feeling the air burn in my lungs in resistance to what I am forcing them to do. Push harder? Absolutely--throw the hammer down in mile 6. I love it! The only thing better? Finishing uphill and into the wind.
The first cup of coffee of the morning. When I walk into the kitchen and my wife has the coffee ready. The first ingredient in her coffee is sacrifice, and it makes that coffee so rich and bold. Coffee store coffee pales in comparison to Nikki's!
The colors and climate of fall. Monday: 85 degrees. Today: 55 and very windy. I cannot wait until the first frost, the first snow and my first sub-zero run.
Sweet Tea. I don't want to brag, but I make the best sweet tea I've ever had (it's my blog).
Correcting my kid's math homework. I love checking up on what I've told them to do. I especially love the look of security on their face when they delight in doing what they understood that they were supposed to do. It's like them saying everyday: I know that my place is with you dad--you're showing me how to do it. Thanks.
My drive home along the Lake. I live along a Great Lake. When I drive home up our hill and see the Lake's mood of the day, I always wonder at God's creativity and generosity. Every day. I have lived near the same spot on this Lake for over 20 of my 37 years and it never gets old.
When my wife has a hard issue to talk over. I love seeing and knowing her heart. I love that she would trust me with the inner-most places of her being. I love knowing her better than anyone. I love that Scripture (and God!) has already arrived in this place and gives us all we need to deal with hard stuff.
My sister turns 50 today (edited, 10/12). Wow. I was born into a family of 7 kids. We're all still here, including my parents. As I read that, it looks morbid. I am reminded of a message I heard from James MacDonald this week: "The doctor cannot tell you 'if' you have a terminal disease--you have a terminal life. He can give you a handle on 'when' you may die, but not 'if.' You are going to die."
"Every second of every day is a gift of life from God until He justly decides to stop giving them."
My other sister delivered a baby boy, Nolan Thomas, into the world this week (her ninth child). Wooooooo! Praising God with her and her family.
The depths of the wisdom of God. Every time I study the culture more I see that God has already spoken His truth to us and it it still the thing that every person needs. Whether it's a broken leg, a broken mind, or a broken family, God's Word says what you need and how you need it. God's Spirit makes it all real.

In closing, let me say that I believe you can only chose moment-by-moment joy when you stand right before God, and if you stand right before God you will choose moment-by-moment joy. I have a long way to go, and life is always moving. As God as my help I way that nothing will ever separate me from the love of God--not things past, present or yet to come.

What did he say?

2007-10-09T07:09:00.000-07:00

I remember distinctly as a kid having particular anxiety when it was time to listen to instructions from adults. It could be anything. In shop class, the instructor could talk 'till he was blue in the face (I usually made him red) about perpendicular cuts and the like, but I didn't get it verbally at all. I went to a youth group where we played made up (and fun) games that always had to be explained in depth. The guy would be explaining the rules and gist of the game, but he always lost me just after, "Okay, listen up." And worst of all? Football practice. A coach, taking a fun game that I had played all my life and reducing it to complete embarrassment while he described my job to me in front of the whole team, and then yelled at me when I didn't do it right (in front of the whole team). I really didn't get verbal instructions.

But then the action began. I watched the kid next to me begin to make his sheet-metal pin-wheel and all the instructions began to make sense. The teacher came over and showed me HOW to do what he said. I made a really cool pin-wheel. And those made-up games? After I played about 5 minutes of the actual game (usually asking questions of the kids around me--apparently not everyone was as dense as I), I got it. I even had fun.

I discovered that I am a VISUAL learner. (It's weird, then, that my Master's degree is in the very conceptual and non-visual field of theology.)

Oh, and God did this, too. First he said it (verbal instructions). Though He was clear, it was evident that most people didn't get it (exhibit A: Simon Peter). So (this was His plan from the beginning), He showed up Himself and "paced" with us ("the Word became flesh and dwelt among us"). He wasn't, of course, just an example, but while He accomplished the Father's will and accomplished all that He came to do, He is the perfect example (Pacer)!

Anyway, I have since learned that almost all of "this generation" are visual learners. They want to "get with" some "programs," but verbal commands and lectures make it border on the impossible. Some suggestions that I am learning to implement:

When I instruct my kids, verbal instructions are less than half of the goal. After giving your children verbal instructions the next step is to DO the activity (take out ALL the garbage, clean your room, wash the dishes) WITH them. While you do the jobs alongside them, occasionally make suggestions and show them HOW to improve. I must patiently show them how. In his book, "Shaping the Spiritual Lives of Students," Rick Dunn calls this "pacing" and contrasts it with "telling" our students what to do. I like that! Words are not sufficient; they need my physical example.
Anxiety in my child's heart about my expectations of them can cause shut-down. It's easier for them to say "I don't know" when asked about why they didn't accomplish a task than to say "I did not understand your instructions and felt anxiety in my heart about your expectations and therefore, didn't try." Often, when they aren't sure what to do, they'll ignore the instructions they heard and do whatever they think is best. This is dangerous. Ultimately, they would rather appear lazy than stupid.
Every kid walks a different pace. I have one kid who needs almost constant pacing and another who does very well when I mostly tell him what to do. I have to be careful to not pace too much with the one who needs it most and neglect the "easy" kid. You know that all of parenting is a tight-rope. It's my goal to reward the verbal kid (easy one) with more pacing, and gradually heighten the expectations of the kid that needs pacing most.
Accountability. Kids do very well when we say we're gonna check the work, show them what our expectations of their work is and then actually check their work. It's a three-fold approach that takes T-I-M-E. So tell them, show them and check them--consistently. Then start over again.
How much is enough? This is the toughest for me, personally. First we must manage the parental relationship (Dad has one set of expectations, and Mom another--this can't be. We have to come to one set of expectations that is biblical and embraced by both Dad and Mom--this takes work and biblical leadership.) How high should my expectations be? I always revert to theology: how much does my heavenly Father expect of me? On the one hand, when I didn't perform (I am guilty of damnable sin), He did all the work completely for me (on the cross He said, "It is finished" in my place). On the other hand, whatever I find to do I am instructed to do "as to the Lord"--with all my strength. I guess what I am saying is that expectations must be firm and certain and managed with grace, not a hammer.

I close this post on expectations with the words God inspired through Paul: "Love covers a multitude of sins." Let this concept guide your relationship and expectations of your student. It is imperative that you and your student begins with love (a commitment to do what's best for the other).

I am amazed that God spoke a Word, revealing to us who He is. Then He went a step further: He showed us Himself "incarnate" (God "enfleshed"!). Now we mimic that pattern with our kids. Tell them, show them, check-up on them, repeat.

Stop me if you've heard this one

2007-10-05T13:43:00.000-07:00

I am finishing up my day of study on the topic of communicating with "today's generation." That title seems so yesterday. Anyway, in studying for this I have sifted pages on topics from post-modernism to Christian worldview to intact, healthy family. I've considered new definitions for old words, a shift in an understanding of "objective truth" and my mind has been swimming through all these concepts. I am coming up for air to write down this simple entry before I make my end of the day phone calls and go home.

Will somebody PLEASE judge me?

Yes, you read that correctly. Please judge me. In a world of withholding judgment (skepticism), "who am I to judge" (fearful false humility) and "whatever works" (self-righteousness), I am asking someone to judge me. Take a look at my beliefs, my way of thinking, my claims to faith and then see if they line up with REALITY.

I guess you can hear in my tone here that I have lost my patience for this concept of "Don't judge me." I have been reading statistics over and over again about how many people view today's church as judgmental. That is a crock. We tend to be so grace-oriented that we expect little from people, and would call them to task over few (if any) misdeeds. One of the problems that we need to confront together in the church is our LACK of judmentalism.

One example in the news is the case in San Fransisco that has churches and their leaders all but mute while vile behavior takes place in their streets (Folsom Street Fair). In fact, speaker of the house (can you believe that?) Nancy Pelosi became speaker for the church (I thought there was some sort of "separation of church and state" she was interested in widening, yet as Speaker of the House she is speaking for the church) when she said that a twisted derangement of perverts arranged to mimic the famous "Last Supper" painting had no impact on the church. Pelosi's press secretary said it this way: "As a Catholic, the speaker is confident that Christianity has not been harmed." I would comment on this vehemently, but I use her words today only as an example of what we've become: "Don't judge anybody--it's the greatest virtue."

Here's my point: casting judgment on people's MOTIVES is wrong . . .

But casting judgment on people's ACTIONS is RIGHT. Judging people's behavior as "wrong" or "right"; "bad" or "good"; "evil" or "upright" is simply exercising GOOD JUDGMENT.

We are in for a swift and certain end of the Christian faith if Christ's followers stop calling evil, "evil," and good "good." That's not judgmental. It's only judgmental if I try to guess your motives for doing what you do.

If we won't teach your kids that one must exercise judgment, this world will teach them that any utterance that proceeds from their mouths that is based on an objective sense (from God himself) of right and wrong is sin. To these people, the only sin that exists is judgmentalism.

Parents, let us stop this business of "who am I to say." If you are following Christ and have devoted your life to Him then you carry His mission and are His representative in this world. You belong to Him.

Who are you to resist that call? Who am I to keep His words to myself? Who am I to call evil "good" when God has spoken?

Exercise good judmentalism. Change someone's life!

The joy of minstering to students

2007-10-05T09:34:00.001-07:00

A couple Junior High Small Groups at last week's y/g/08

When a child should be given independence

2007-10-02T07:57:00.001-07:00

Never.

That's the easiest answer, and most helpful. Sometime ago someone convinced us that the goal of parenting is independence, didn't they? They were wrong.

I know, we live in a world of independence. "I can do it myself," comes out of their mouths when they are 2. "We don't want help." So, again and again we hand over opportunities for independence. Children are more self-sufficient (read: ISOLATED) and more independent (read: UNSUPERVISED) than ever before. We give them their sleepovers (at their demand), drop them off a block before the mall or movie theatre, and try to get their best talent on display somewhere (the stage, the field, the newspaper) as soon as possible.

But the real world, the one we want to get them ready for has very little to do with individual performances (unless they live in Hollywood). The real world is a world of real and deepening interdependent relationships. These relationships challenge us (they even irritate us sometimes), spur us on, lift us up, and provide the friction we need for forward traction. One of the most significant aspects of the church is FAMILY, but we raise our kids to avoid this real world (and, therefore, to avoid the natural accountability that should be a part of "church").

And by the way, one of the reasons for the brevity of friendships (and marriages) in this world is a sea full of kids who have become so independent that they refuse to be interdependent throughout their entire lives.

And by the way again, I absolutely despise the concept in modern psychology of "co-dependent." I know what the term is trying to convey, and we can hang on too tightly to the wrong relationships, but I think this term is an abuse of the word, "dependent." When did the fact of dependence (we depend on air, someone choosing to become a garbage collector and gasoline to be available for our cars, for example) become evil?

So our goal is not independence, but maturity. Not just direction and decisiveness, but meekness. Not only certainty, but humility. And it's this maturity that gives them the ABILITY to embrace dependence (to really love people).

So (as you know), our kids will not learn what we TELL them, but what we MODEL. I am called to examine my own sense of interdependence, humility and meekness. Do I avoid relationships that challenge me? Do I resist leading in humility? Is my life characterized by a long series of brief (and ever-ending) friendships? Or am I in it for the long haul? Dependent.

There is no such thing as independence if we are committing ourselves to follow Jesus Christ. There is such a thing as maturity, and we should strive for it so our children can see what it "looks like" in real life.

More on Marathon

2007-09-24T13:00:00.000-07:00

You can read that title two ways, can't you?

I am 4-and-a-half weeks away from my third marathon. The mileage is going up. The longs runs are not necessarily getting any longer, but they are getting a little bit faster.

I am running one of the largest marathons in the world on October 28, "The Marine Corps Marathon." I cannot imagine what it is going to be like to line up with 30,000 runners to complete a race like this. Unbelievable.

The best part: it's a family adventure. We will spend a week and a half out in DC and see all the sights. I have never been to DC before, so it is as exciting for me as for my kids (though my amazing wife may be more excited than all of us!).

I can't wait!

Mind Your Own Business

2007-09-24T12:06:00.000-07:00

Most of the time I like this idea. "If I want your opinion, I'll ask for it," right? I have faced some difficult situations over the years when I minded someone else's business. Besides, we live in a world when you're not only supposed to do things your "own" way, but you're also supposed to let everyone else do things their own way. Not only "let" them do things their way, but "tolerate" it and even applaud it.

But I've been re-thinking this idea recently. I have come to the conclusion that this idea has contributed strongly to the end of the neighborhood as we once knew it. If everyone "minds their own business" then who is offering advice, holding people accountable for their actions, being the eyes and ears of parents who both work, or re-directing wrong thinking. There, I said it, people can think wrongly.

We need each other!

So, though there are times and places when one must mind one's own business (I am never going to tell a woman that she has toilet paper on her shoe, or, "that dress makes you look pregnant"), I am more convinced than ever that if we are to reside in a true community, everyone must mind other people's business.

To that end, I am declaring today, September 24, 2007, "National Mind Your Neighbor's Business Day." I give you permission to stop acting like you don't see your neighbor's kids lighting off fireworks. I empower you to confront (with much love) the much-too-young-to-be-out-this-late children who are out in front of your house at 11:00 on Friday night. I urge you to bake a cake for your neighbor who is undergoing his third treatment for hemorrhoids (but not spice cake). I invite you (I am going to try to do this, too) to build extra time into your Saturday outside project just HOPING the neighbor will come home with groceries you can help carry in (or just talk about "kids these days"). I implore you to call the police when you hear inordinate screaming coming from houses around you. Get involved.

You can mind other people's business appropriately when you realize a couple things:

There is a right way to live and a wrong way. Be empowered by Truth.
Live out humility all the time (make room for your neighbor to mind your business, too). Don't be defensive. Hear'em out.
No one wants a lecture, everyone wants to be loved. How you say it is as important as what you say.

At the ripe old age of 37 I have decided to stop living as if I don't notice half of the goings on in the world because I am afraid to get involved, tick someone off or I'm simply out of practice. Let's mind each other's business.

In an aside, Hallmark will be getting on board this idea beginning in 2008. Some of the early suggestions they made for 2008 Mind Your Neighbor's Business Day greeting cards:
-Cover: "If I had it to do over again, I would've . . ." Inside: "Told you this 3 years ago."
-Cover: "Thanks for keeping . . ." Inside: "a close eye on your Boa Constrictor."
-And my personal fave: Cover: "If I were you . . ." Inside: "I'd ask for some help."

I have asked that my holiday colors be Magenta and Clear.

Hey, let's get involved in each other's lives. It's a beautiful thing!

us vs them

2007-09-21T12:34:00.000-07:00

We insist that our children become one of them. Become a soccer player or a member of the band, or anything through which we feel our student is going to gain a sense of confidence and learn to get along with others. I've even heard this as a stated goal by some: "My child needs socialization."

They do need to learn how to relate to others, play hard for the team and hone their various skills. But socialization? Has our culture produced such a track record of success that we want our children defined by what their peers may produce in them? Not me.

And as they get older their "them-ness" grows. Sports, computers, and the worst "them" of all: dating. And our children's every pull from there on out has to do with their desire to be "them" self. Their hair, their parties, their random speak, their iPods, their computer time, their cell phones and their "freedom."

So we have a world of very talented, very gifted, unbelievably athletic "thems" out there, all disconnected from the usses and connected only with one another. Does anyone else see a problem here?

What's worse is our incessant insistence at creating these thems as early as possible. It used to be that there was only us (the nuclear family). Then (as I've referred to recently) came wars and universities and the like for young singles 18 and older that divided their understanding of who they were. But now we want to get our three year-olds in tee ball, bowling, ballet and water polo as early as we can. Build that self-esteem.

And then, when our kids are 16 ( or is that 7?), parents sit in a support group and ask each other when they lost the dreamy "us" that they always hoped their families would become. Each child does his own thing in his own way on his own time table. And somewhere along the way we killed us.

So here's the point to this little entry: embrace your family "us." Make (Parents have the right and responsibility to make their kids do things. Any refusal of this responsibility is simply saying that we would rather let the culture and their teammates and teachers force them into their mold rather than being responsible to force them into a mold that we believe is best. If you abdicate this role you are, by definition, a hypocrite.) your kids identify themselves as "us" as long as humanly possible. Cultivate family memorials, traditions and inside stories. Rehearse your history. Tell the stories. When your student gets too old for this, help the whole family continue to embrace their becoming (sometimes). Do everything in your power to limit non-essentials that add to a sense of "them"ness in your student.

You cannot make your child stay a child forever--and I know you don't want to. And building the above sense of "us" will eventually take most or all of your resources. We all eventually want to send our children out into the world to impact it for Christ, so I'm not saying "shelter," at least not in an unhealthy way. I'm saying to teach your child that their identity is appropriately (and in a sense permanently) linked to who they are as your kid. It will REALLY help them later when they are trying to identify themselves as God's kids, if they haven't done so already. Peculiarity? Sacrifice? Denying myself? Doing what's best for my little sister? Ya. That's right. It's all transferable to the concept of following Christ.

So USE the idea of "us vs them" to your advantage. Keep your kids an "us" and find every way you can to break down their idea of them-ness. Swim upstream.

Never Forget

2007-09-11T09:30:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday, September 11, 2001 I turned on my car radio as I travelled to a morning prayer meeting at a local school. I sat in my van doubtfully listening to the events of the story continue to unfold. A second plane? Another incident with a plane elsewhere?

The hatred and physical violence perpetrated against the United States on September 11, 2001 is unprecedented. There haven't been many wars on "our" soil in the last 100 years and never has there been that kind of attack against innocent civilians in the USA. How can this be?

But the war did not begin that day. The war, waged by religious extremists simply spilled over onto our soil that day. This war has been raging since the 8th Century and prior, as a religion expands through physical force and murder. This war is being fought in the Sudan and all throughout Africa. This war, when reduced to rhetoric, has been lost by well-meaning people throughout Europe.

We forget about the lessons we learned on September 11 when:

We hate a religious extemist. The lesson we learned? Hate the hate.
We confuse forgiveness and consequences. It's ironic that in practice most "liberal" leaders want to forgive the extremists while imposing no consequences; most "conservatives" want to impose consequences without forgiveness. Lesson learned? Forgiveness and consequences co-exist in our hearts if we are wise and just.
We trust our government (leaders, military, diplomacy). Lesson learned? Since the overthrowing of deceit is up to God, we must pray as if the entire enterprise is up to God because it is.
We vote in our next election based on untried and unproven strategies. Lesson learned? Listen for this theme in your candidate's speeches: JUSTICE. I think Tony Blair got it right:

"So what do we do?
Don't overreact some say. We aren't.
We haven't lashed out. No missiles on the first night just for effect.
Don't kill innocent people. We are not the ones who waged war on the innocent. We seek the guilty.
Look for a diplomatic solution. There is no diplomacy with Bin Laden or the Taliban regime.
State an ultimatum and get their response. We stated the ultimatum; they haven't responded.
Understand the causes of terror. Yes, we should try, but let there be no moral ambiguity about this: nothing could ever justify the events of 11 September, and it is to turn justice on its head to pretend it could.
The action we take will be proportionate; targeted; we will do all we humanly can to avoid civilian casualties. But understand what we are dealing with. Listen to the calls of those passengers on the planes. Think of the children on them, told they were going to die.
Think of the cruelty beyond our comprehension as amongst the screams and the anguish of the innocent, those hijackers drove at full throttle planes laden with fuel into buildings where tens of thousands worked.
They have no moral inhibition on the slaughter of the innocent. If they could have murdered not 7,000 but 70,000 does anyone doubt they would have done so and rejoiced in it?
There is no compromise possible with such people, no meeting of minds, no point of understanding with such terror.
Just a choice: defeat it or be defeated by it. And defeat it we must

The above picture will never return. It's just a picture and it's just buildings. But together we must never forget how the changed landscape forces us to consider justice.

In closing, God can only forgive me because of justice. He had to hold Someone responsible, and punish that Someone to the full extent of the Law in order to justly forgive me. Don't gloss over the extent of my sin. Grace and justice exist side-by-side as lessons learned on 9-11. Never forget.

Too busy

2007-08-29T08:30:00.000-07:00

I guess there is complete irony in my heart as I type this. Like many of you I am responsible for getting some pretty major things off the ground each fall. I plan the school year calendar for 7th-12th grade at my church, plan the Sunday School curriculum, re-write the youth group curriculum, communicate all this to my 20 small group leaders and then make sure it all gets mailed out to parents. It's what we all do.

Tonight is my leaders meeting. The details of the calendar are coming together. Today is about checking the details of the curriculum through about Thanksgiving, printing it out, making certain small groups are set and then training my volunteers. Some of them should probably be doing the training tonight because they are experienced and passionate!

With all this on my plate today I found myself thinking, "So what?" So I got the stuff printed and handed it out. The lessons have come together (and they look great to me). I have been busy for weeks trying to pull this together as I live the regular busyness of life and work. And now it's together, and I'll hand it over to my leaders tonight.

I want to share the truth, and I want my adult leaders to be ready to do so, too, but it's my life (and theirs) that our students need. The information must be backed up by a corresponding obedience to the truth and a willingness to share our lives with them. (1 Thess 2:8 says, "We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.")

So right here in this moment when I probably should be scurrying around trying to finalize another detail I sit down to write. I can't help but think that the more beneficial thing to do would be to pray for my small group leaders: Jason, Ehren, Linda, Danielle, Heather, Liz, Connie, Ben, Nikki, Mike, Lori, Bryan, Kent, Lyn, Heather, Terry, Jeanie, Carol, Brenda and even me. Oh ya, I need 3 or 4 more, Lord. Especially guys. Help me, Lord!

I long for these people to walk closely with the Savior. I long for them to be familiar with the Word who is Jesus. The Spirit is going to have to fill their mouths with the words of life to a generation of rich kids. The rich kids have heard this all before. If any of them come to Christ it's going to be a miracle because they trust themselves so much, and their parent's wealth. I did that, too. But it's possible if we trust God for a miracle.

So as I prepare for the curriculum and the calendar, I may just fail by succeeding at all the wrong things. Lord, stop my busyness and help me pray!

My favorite song

2007-08-17T08:50:00.000-07:00

I grew up in a great era for Christian music. It was before the contemporary worship movement. I remember Keith Green calling Christian artists to stop charging so much for their LPs ("Long Playing" 33 1/3 RPM Vinyl Records). He was calling the Christian music industry to stop trying to pattern themselves after the money-making pattern of the "secular" music industry. In those days we had about 9 choices for Christian rock, and all of them were quite conservative in the way they taught and sang Scripture and Scriptural songs. I loved it.

Someday I will post my thoughts about "today's CCM", but not today.

So anyway, those were the first days of the Walkman and other personal listening devices. Headphones began to catch on and everyone could listen to whatever they wanted whenever they wanted to. And we did. There was the clock radio and waking up to music. There was music while we got ready for school. On the way to school, talk radio filled the air inside our cars. While we shopped after school (no matter the store), music played. And sometimes there was TV after that throughout the evening. (Mind you, I am not necessarily describing "my house." I am describing the world as me and my friends generally knew it.)

At some point I got burnt out on the noise.

I love the quiet.

One of my favorite things in the world is to spend time with my family and talk. Any ongoing noise tends to distract me. When I run, I almost always run without headphones. I have an iPod, and I'll use it once in a while, but there is something so refreshing about running when it's quiet. Yesterday I saw a small Turkey family cross the street just ahead of me and could hear their feet patter across the street. My heart was refreshed as a heard the birds call to one another (though sometimes this can really freak me out--are they talking about me??).

So, no, I'm not a rabid naturalist. I am not going to take a vow of silence anytime soon. I have some favorite music and I'll turn on a radio almost just as much as the next person. But for restoration and solitude, give me the quiet place!

I love carving out some time every day when there is nothing coming at me in terms of voice or music. And I can observe, and listen, and think, and pray and re-charge. It's usually in a moment like this that I finally feel like I can hear the still, small voice.

And that's my favorite song of all.

New invention: I lost my head

2007-08-14T07:33:00.000-07:00

The family is the building block of all sane and decent civilization. Because of decent relationships in families girls and young ladies are protected and boys and young men learn to work, learn to serve others and learn to respect those young ladies. It's a beautiful thing when it operates like this.

And we know that this is God's plan for the family. He said as much in Genesis 2 when he said (about a man who had no parents) that the only reason any man would "leave" his father and mother would be that he himself was establishing a new family--one in which he was responsible to take care of (protect) one woman--namely, his wife. So it seems obvious, doesn't it? People are designed of God to live in tight relationships with their families. They live under the headship of their parents until such time that they are ready to establish their own homes. They are accountable to parents until they are accountable as parents (or at least mates).

(Obviously many are called to singleness. It seems in that case that we remain accountable to our parents for a longer period of time, and/or we also rely more heavily on the local church for relational accountability in that case.)

In steps WWI and the last 9o years of US history. Not only have we accepted the idea that young men must sometimes be disconnected from their own heads (in war, etc.), but then we embraced that as a value and actually force them out of that accountability relationship. Now we tell them that when the government views them as a free agent (18 years old), we do too. So "Go," we tell them. And they do.

We used to think that handling our responsibilities with care and in accountable relationships brought great freedom and a deep sense of accomplishment. Now we think that if we give them enough personal freedom that they will eventually become responsible.

It was a bad enough mistake with our boys. But how any dad or mom can think about giving their girls the above kinds of headlessness is completely beyond me. Case in point: The College Years.

I tell all the students I know that the college years are an invented forest that is dark and deadly. We beg you to disconnect from your parents, connect with your peers (we call this healthy socialization) and then be taught by some of the most questionable academics on the face of the earth. And it's not just accepted anymore. We thrust this twisted "rite of passage" on almost every young adult, even our girls.

So here's my bullet list of thoughts on this topic:

I value the home even OVER education. Sure you can sometimes do both (I have a Master's degree). But every chance I get I tell anyone who will listen that the greatest goal a young woman can have in her life is to become a wife and mother.

If becoming a wife and mother is your goal, keep a close eye on your debt load. Why go $20-$70K in debt for "education" if your goal is to be a great wife and mom.

Live every day of your life embracing headship (familial accountability). Young man, you are under the authority and headship of your parents and family. College can't be viewed as years of free agency. They're not. Wise parenting is needed here. The wise parent finds a way to keep handing over more and more responsibility and the wise student freely embraces the ways of the family. So if son or daughter lives far away (military or school) they still view themselves as a "Smith," or "Davis"--and act in accordance with their head. They impose family rules on themselves because they are still under that father/mother until they establish their own home.

Embrace the local church. If there is a "home away from home," it's a Christ-centered, Bible-saturated, God-adoring fellowship of believers. If you do move on to a military or school experience that is geographically separated from your family, get involved in this family of believers! Commit to serving. And no, (I say this in love) college ministries that meet on campus on some week night do not "count" for church attendance! You need to be serving (and not everyone sings or does Power Point). You need little old ladies coming up to you on Sunday mornings and telling you that you need more sleep because "you look terrible." You need to be surrounded by other solid families.

So some inventions need to be traded in. "Young adulthood" may be one of them. Just a thought.

Happiness

2007-08-10T11:16:00.000-07:00

Is happiness different than joy? I have always heard people say that the two are different. Happiness is positive emotions that may flow from some recent circumstance. You know, the Brewers won again, the Custard Stand is serving my favorite as their "Flavor of the Day," you got a promotion at work and Grandma's cancer is in remission. That's happiness.

But joy, they say, is that positive mindset that you keep even when things go bad. This all used to make sense to me. Maybe, in general, it still does.

But the older I get, the happier I become. I'm not talking about an internal mindset, I am thinking about the gladness of heart that comes all the time because of my relationship with Jesus Christ and the certainty of my position in Him. I am forgiven. Let that sink in. And God has given me the privilege of knowing the most incredible woman in this world. I can hear from God through His Word and by His Spirit. God has opened my eyes to His fame and made me see how pitiful my attempts to get fame for myself have become. When I fail this afternoon or next week, God will hold me in His hands.

Let me include a list of things that I am happy about that I wrote in my journal about a year ago. They all come because of His resurrection. Happiness is:

God created me from nothing. He saw my "unformed substance" and knit me together.
God allowed me to experience an upbringing that centered on Him.
God has forgiven my sin and helped me place my faith in Him. What if I died today? God is still good. He owes me nothing except death--he gave me life in His Son.
God uses my little light to tell this world that He is reigning on His throne.
God has chosen ME for good works (and he prepared them for me "in advance" of me even being here).
God is granting an increasing measure of grace to constantly put to death the "flesh," and walk with Him in obedience.
God has granted me the ability to see and comprehend literature and inspires me with the literary works of His servants through the ages.
God has blessed me with an amazing wife and family. Though I often choose selfishly, He also empowers me to prefer their needs over my own and serve them.
God has blessed me with the incredible privilege of embracing things that this world calls foolishness. Creation? I believe it. Miracles? I serve the God of them. Heaven? My hope is there with the Promise-Giver Himself.
God matured my faith along the way from a timid "hope so," to a tenacious mature belief in His Son. I know that I utterly need the Body of Christ.
God has opened my eyes to the joy of giving stuff (money) away.
My life has purpose and meaning.
Because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ, when I die I am guaranteed a place in heaven with Him forever. One day I will posses a new body(as Christ was raised from the dead, I will be too!) and be physically present with Jesus Christ. What will that be like? This is reason to celebrate!
God will use the life of the obedient believer (even mine) to bring more and more people into His family.

I have actually had people say to me that they "don't know what God ever did for" them. What!? Start with the above list and then add your own! How has God shown His love for you? The list is never-ending.

So we can haggle about joy and happiness. I can't imagine the two are very far apart. If the Brewers lose; if my job contains things I don't like, if my childhood was painful, if the tumor is malignant--blessed be the name of the Lord. I choose gladness.

So today, I remind myself again . . .

More on New Orleans

2007-08-06T11:43:00.001-07:00

Last night the New Orleans Missions Trip gave their official report to our church body. So many people contributed to the evening. Several led singing, a couple helped with sound and tech stuff, and others shared about their experiences in New Orleans. Of those around the area (at least one has already left for college), we had 100 percent participation. The church body came out en masse to support their missionaries. From the 12 minute PowerPoint (150 pictures!) to the heartfelt statements about life-change I relived many of the highlights.

I am glad that the lessons learned brought emotions, but were not controlled by emotions. Maybe that's the heart of this post. I heard students talk about emotional highlights and the way their heart was moved. And I alos heard a ton of talk about how God is using trips like this to guide and direct our students in His service. So here are a couple of summary statements:

Start serving! By beginning to serve you develop a servant's heart. Did you ever think that it worked the other way ("Once I get a servant's heart I will start to serve")? It doesn't. So many times God uses our experiences to encourage us toward deeper obedience. It's NOT our behavior that determines what we believe, I don't believe that. But I do believe that working hard toward common goals with God's people is a privilege that is (generally) self-sustaining. It is so rewarding to give!
Serve in areas that you are uncomfortable in. I can't tell you how many people I have met that have basically relegated themselves to do only the tasks that tend to fall within their areas of "giftedness." I know that's how God has generally put the church together, but can you imagine how many monumental tasks would have NEVER been completed if the person who did them opted out because they didn't feel it was their "area"? Moses almost messed things up, Paul, I could go on and on. So embrace the fun of serving. Serve wherever there is a need. You may find out where you are NOT gifted, but you may find an additional gift or passion that lies submerged beneath your surface.
Don't consider a foreign "Missions" trip unless you are engaged in the mission here and now. It kills me that so many people will display a heart of service in Ethiopia (or wherever) but they would not dream of serving their mom or wife or neighbor. If you aren't serving in your private life, don't fake it in the public eye. I'm not saying, "Don't ever go." I am saying, "Start serving now in your local church and then sign-up later for the big trip." The mission is not a "foreign field" mission, it's global. And if you live on the globe, your neck of the woods is the field.
It's not what you do, it's who you are. That's my favorite lesson learned. Some people asked me, "What did you get done?" I don't know, we pulled weeds, we deconstrcuted walls, we moved stuff and we played with kids. I am amazed by the narratives that tell us about what Jesus did while He was here on the earth. He was unwilling to do anything that wasn't part of His purpose (He came to seek and to save that which was lost). But along the way he attended weddings, ate with tax collectors, showed compassion on people and connected with children. He didn't do one act of organization that produced a life-changing organization. He produced a shift in the way people should think about their lives. The Spirit has produced the organism, the Church. I'm not saying, "Don't accomplish something," I am saying, "Love compassionately while you accomplish things." "Be," not just "do."

Check out our trip Blog here.

I thank my God for His grace in allowing Nikki and me to lead this trip with the other adults. What a privilege to serve our Lord like this!

Glad heart

2007-07-31T10:13:00.000-07:00

I have always been the eternal optimist. My wife calls my state of mind, "Jonny World." You tell me that someone is going through financial distress and I think of it as their opportunity to learn. I hear about someone's cancer and I am thankful that we have opportunity to deal with hard issues before they die. You tell me the bread is burned and I remind you that "That is my favorite part."

I am a Youth Pastor by trade. This week has opened my eyes to deep personal struggles that many of "our" former students have faced as they left our ministry and went on to early adulthood. Their struggles have made my optimistic heart soar with joy.

What is my Jonny world spin on their struggles? It's two-fold. First, for those who will return to their faith with all their hearts at least some of their painful experiences that God will eventually use to turn them are behind them. Yes, they will have to deal with the shame, the regret and the awful pain of utter brokenness before a holy God. But they aren't going to get there the easy way. So let the hard times roll. In fact, the harder the times become the more they are feeling the REAL love of that holy God. If God loves them He will expose them to utter pain and brokenness that will lead them to repentance before it's too late. That's love!

Second, there are some students who continue to fight the fight and walk with Christ. I could tell you the stories of Pete or Paul or Zach or Scott. It's so natural for us all to walk away, why did God bestow His loving hand on these students in such a way that they have not wandered away from their faith? Why has He graciously tethered them to His Son? How good is that God?

My heart rejoices that God chastened me. Through the hard and choppy waters of doubt and selfishness (which I still wade into all too often) God has siezed even me.

I cannot make choices for someone else, and I am not God. So I will leave the cosmic things in His care and do what He asks of me. God, open my selfish eyes to see how I might proclaim you to the students we have today. Keep them in your care. Guard the steps of this year's graduates and next year's seniors. Have mercy and help them be utterly captured by Your beauty, Your goodness, Your peace!

Christians having a good time

2007-07-30T14:05:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the hiatus.

I have often heard that people need to see that Christians know how to have a good time. I agree that many sour-faced Christians have made it seem like the Christian life is only slightly better than perpetual root canal. They can take something that they have struggled with in the past, make a new rule for themselves (and everyone else) and then judge everyone in sight. Sometimes I catch myself doing that, don't you?

So some well-intentioned grace-lovers swung the pendulum as far as possible and came up with the idea that if the world just saw Christians having a good time that people who felt judged by religious people would convert to Christ in droves. It almost seems to make sense (because I want it to). But it doesn't; and it is runs completely contrary to Scripture.

But alas, we have now seen the truth that this "good time" principle is actually an embarrassment to Christians everywhere, and an offense to Christ Himself. Will I really affect someone with my "good time"? I am trying to imagine the moment in my life when that happened, and it's not coming. When I went to the amusement park? Saw the Team win? Shot a low round? Ran a fast time? THere can be glory for God in some of those moments if I am focusing on caring for others through these moments, but I don't think that anyone cares if I am having a good time.

Instead, I believe that the world will take note of our Savior when they see that we rejoice in Christ no matter what kind of trial we are facing today. So many times I find that I want to hide my pain inside a stupor of "having fun" instead of dealing with the problem with Christlike humility and choosing to rejoice in Him (read: "taking my faith seriously").

I would say that the world around us is sick of observing Christians who mostly want to "have a good time," and would rather see them "continually happy because their joy comes from Christ."

This is not a rant against fun. It's a soul-searching effort to get to the core of reality. I don't expect to change the world by having fun in their presence. I expect the world to keep hating my Savior (doesn't it pain you to read that?). At every turn where they hate Him, I will love Him deeper until the world sees that I am serious about loving Him whether I live or I die. Oh that I would choose joy again today.

Now that is a good time!

A Trip to New Orleans

2007-06-25T12:23:00.000-07:00

You probably know that I have been in New Orleans for the past week on a missions trip with 22 amazing students and adults from my church fam. We had a great time together! God provided safety, opportunities to grow in our love for each other and understanding of how He made each of us and tons of learning.

Here are a couple of tips that I took away from our experience:

If you have the choice for transportation, DRIVE. Sure it takes a lot longer, but the conversations and experiences cannot be duplicated. We stopped in Memphis and just happened to be near "Graceland." We had emergency restroom stops for almost every member of our travelling potty. (Whoops, I meant, "party.") Our two vans stayed connected via two-way radio, and even that was fun. And we met new friends at the Grace Evangelical Free Church in Memphis who amazed us with their hospitality.

Go with no expectations. It's ironic, isn't it that we ask people to plan, house and feed us on a missions trip and then get very picky and crabby if they do things their way instead of ours. My prayer and mindset going in was, "this is Urban Impact's week. We will do whatever they ask us with a gracious heart. We will not critique their ways or plans." So I DID have to fight my own critical heart into submission. Sometimes I lost. I learned a lot from them along the way.

Let the emotions be the icing on the cake. All of us as adults know this, but our kids live as they feel from day-to-day. Missions is about a choice to give of yourself (love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind and love your neighbor as yourself). You can do that in New Orleans or in your own hometown. You can do that when it "feels good" and when it is the last thing you want to do. You can do that when it gives you warm fuzzies and when you have to grit it out. The cake is your commitment and choice to serve Jesus Christ no matter how you feel. The icing is the way it makes you feel. I really don't like much icing on my cake.

If possible, find a way to report back to the families left at home. We started a blog that was pretty cool. Maybe there are other ways, too.

Listen. I found myself trying to discipline myself to be quiet throughout the week. I needed quiet to renew my soul. Other leaders needed quiet from me, except in specific and crucial moments. The Urban Impact staff needed quiet from me when they were doing their jobs, but encouragement at other times. And the students needed quiet from me in group times, so they could speak. The older I get, the more I love trying to become a little more quiet. (Stop laughing everyone.)

Pray. Obviously, this is first in priority. I think I will try to flesh out certain lessons I learned along the way at different times on this blog. But if there's one over-arching element it is that a group of people (like our New Orleans Team) could experience exactly the same external stimuli (week-long experiences) and react in two opposing ways. I can react in the flesh ("What did "I" or "my students get out of it or feel?") and live through the duration of the commitment (spend time doing something). Or, we can walk in the Spirit ("God taught me about my gifts," etc.). God keep me from walking students through a series of experiences that are of the flesh only! May your Spirit be doing what I/we could NEVER do.

So the trip was a life-changing experience--hopefully for all of us. Some of us had icing, and some of us only had cake. But we all participated in building the Kingdom. We helped to build it in others, but again found that God is busy building it in us.

Waiting and Prayer

2007-06-11T12:23:00.000-07:00

Last summer we celebrated my Grandma's 90th birthday. She told us to do this. Basically she came right out and said, "I'd like you to throw me a 90th birthday party." Seems a little presumptious, huh? I don't know.

She has lived a pretty hard life, by my estimations--some of it at her own hands, but the worst of it was thrust upon her. Her husband was unfaithful to her and she has lived alone for four decades. She one-ups you with her stories, adjusts your thermostat to her liking (she gets cold easy), and doesn't mind complaining about unmet expectations. Even right to your face (especially if you're the one she expected something from). And I love her.

She laughs easily, plays a mean hand of hearts and it is obvious that all she really wants is to feel cared about. It's the cry of the human heart, right? Who will care for me?? She basically wears this desire on her sleeve.

I was praying over her health recently and asked the Lord to confirm in my heart that this woman has trusted Him alone for her salvation. (I know that this prayer is basically very selfish, but hey, this is my blog. If I can't write this here, where can I write it?) From her hospital room she summoned me. I felt like I was going to be scolded for not coming sooner and making her feel more appreciated. The first words out of her mouth actually floored me.

"I am so glad you came, Jon. Sit down." I did (it's easier that way). "Now Jon," she continued, "I just want to be sure that I know that my sins will be forgiven when I die. Tell me again." "Okay Grandma," I began, "let's start at the beginning." At one point she protested, "I thought I should be getting closer to Him all these years, but I feel as though I have lost my way recently."

We talked about how God is the King, ruling over His creation. We talked about how each person must recognize that we have rebelled, deserve death and that Christ is God, and that He alone has purchased forgiveness for those who trust Him. And then she prayed an amazing prayer of confession and faith. She abruptly ended (is there any other way?) with, "That's all I know to say. That's it." Only Grandma.

So there. It's been a wait. She has "prayed the prayer" before. Quite frankly, she'd be the first to agree that the fruit of her life has made it difficult to discern how sincere she was. As sure as I can be about someone else's faith in Christ, I am sure of Grandma's. God answered my silly little selfish prayer request.

There's a lot about her life I think I'll never know. About the brokenness, the pain, the betrayal, the loneliness (I think loneliness was the most significant shaper of her fears, and it never had to be), and the secrets of her heart. I will trust God that with a little more waiting, maybe I'll hear her whole story.

I will never forget the 60 minutes I spent with Grandma on June 5. I'll never forget how she looked or the expressions of her face. I'll never forget the questions she asked and the things she confessed to me (that was somewhat weird). I will never forget the humility that came across in every question she asked. God is never late and rarely early. I love waiting (most of the time)!

Natural and Supernatural

2007-06-05T07:21:00.000-07:00

Everyone of us wants to be someone's Superman. From the moment we figure out how to ride a bicycle with one hand (or climb a tree or do a penny-drop off the monkey bars) we have been calling out, "look at me, look at me." We said it to anyone who would listen, but we saved our loudest shouts for attention for our parents; "Look at me, Dad." The truth is, many of us live our whole lives with that particular phrase still calling out of our subconscious.

And then we have a family and every eye is on us at all times. What will dad do? How will he act? How will he react? How well does he support the family? Can I spend any time with him? Does he live by what he says he believes? And the dream has finally come true. Someone is watching--all the time. They are "looking at me."

As a man transforming I am trying to keep several things in mind as they watch. Here's a couple of the highlights:

They care more about what I am doing when I DON'T ask them to watch me. When we were kids we would get the stunt ready and then ask for people to watch. But my wife rightfully cares a lot more about what I do and how I live in between stunts.
If I am not transforming they will not be transformed. In other words, if it's all about talk, nobody will change. They need to SEE the change in ME before they understand what change is all about.
The most supernatural powers are in my everyday character (as Jesus shines through). Who cares if I can provide a good living if I can't play with my kids? Who cares if I enter some Hall of Fame if my kids never really knew me. Who cares if I affect change at the corporate level if I wasn't patient with my wife? Nobody. But everybody important to me is watching. (In 1 Corinthians 13, Scripture says (paraphrased) who cares if you can move a mountain (like Superman)? What people really need is for you to move a mountain WITH LOVE. Then you have something.)

It's ironic to me that many homes are broken or hurting because all eyes are finally on the boy wonder (sorry, I didn't mean to change metaphors). As all eyes are on superman between stunts pressure mounts. Then some go looking to be superman for someone who is not looking so closely. Some come to the conclusion that they can be someone's saver if others just don't expect too much and don't look too closely. Maybe that's why Superman was always making a getaway after the save.

I want to invite the people closest to me to examine me more closely and know me better.

So one of my goals for this summer is to focus on my own submission to God in the area of my character. I want to talk less and listen more. I want to think less of my own needs and really think about the needs of my wife and kids and neighbors. I want to make time for celebrations of others--not just myself.

If I give less and less of my own attempts to impress this world, maybe this man transforming will be somebody's superman.

All of this poetry, of course, hinges on the one thing: the one and only Savior truly living in me to make me a man transformed.

Memorials

2007-05-29T11:14:00.000-07:00

How in the world will our children know who God is and what He is all about if we don't show and tell them? Obviously, they won't.

When people talk to me about people in foreign countries (and in the US, for that matter) who have never heard the name of Jesus Christ they often equate that concept with an unfair God. Would God send these "innocent people" to a Christless eternity? Without getting into these specifics (read Acts 4:12!) I usually start my response by reminding the questioner that in the Garden of Eden, and again after the Flood, that every father, mother and child on the face of the earth knew who God was and what he had said. Every one of then. So if there has been someone unfaithful, it hasn't been God, but fathers. Obviously, if fathers had been faithful from that day to this, every person on the face of the earth would have heard of the faithful God. But WE have not been faithful. God has been completely faithful.

I love the story in Exodus of God delivering His people from slavery and into the Promised Land. He said that one representative from each tribe should pile a stone on the West Bank of the Jordan so that "when your children ask for generations to come you could tell them" exactly what God has said and done. A stone tells a story to our children.

My wife has helped me so much with establishing traditions. One of our Memorial Day traditions is to go listen to the stones. We listen to the stone at the head of my faithful and dead grandfather, Owen. We listen to the stone at the head of Nik's grandfather, Richard. We listen to the instructions as they roll out of the lives of Ervin and Mildred and Jean and Bea (Bea is still living!). We are still watching and learning from Richard and Paula and Pam and Dennis. May God give us many years till we establish these stones.

A few rocks are just rocks. They may be inscribed with words, but they tell sad and selfish stories of faithlessness (think of the rocks at the head of Cain or Ham or Esau). They tell the stories of sons who could not get over the sins of their youth, who couldn't get others-focused, who did not rest in the promise of God. They are just rocks. Their own kids don't care what the stones say, because they know what the lives said. But there are other rocks that are a testament that God can and does change (man transformed) the heart.

Abel (you didn't live long, but you lived right).

Noah (you devoted all of your best years to one God-sized project in one place).

Jacob (with all your selfishness God still used your faith, Israel).

Erv (you, Mr. farmer, lived with simple faith)

Owen (you gave real life to one woman and died after a heart attack on the 4th tee box).

Richard (you came to Christ late in life--but you came !)

Oh, God, let me be faithful to expose my children to rocks that speak loudly! May You give them the ears to hear and the eyes to see. One day I want my rock to tell a story of God's faithfulness.

"What is this rock for?" It's another testament to the God who is faithful and transforms the hearts of men and women.

Marathon

2007-05-23T07:09:00.000-07:00

I finished my second marathon on Sunday, May 20. I think I'll just tell the story today and then try to pull a couple lessons learned out of it some other day.

I planned and trained to run 3:35. I had run 3:53 last year at the same course, and I know that I made tactical errors that killed me on that run. In other words, I should have run faster last year.

So this year I actually corrected what I thought I did wrong last year and trained a lot smarter with some decent results. I finished the run in 3:34:47 (I had to kick it in on the last half mile a bit in order to reach my goal!). I list the highlights:

CellCom Green Bay is a well organized race! They text message anyone you want with updates as you run. Nikki got little messages that told her where I was on the course. VERY cool. Nik has pictures of this event on her blog.
Somehow it's ALWAYS freezing in Green Bay on this May race day. It was 38F and extremely windy (especially from miles 17-22--that was brutal). I'll take that over hot any day (see my little "I got tagged" list below).
There were 6,700 participants in the three races (5K, Half- and Full Marathon). Of the 6,700, about 1,400 were marathoners. I finished #321.
I won't forget the feeling at about mile 11 when all the Half-ers turned to finish and the rest of us kept going. It was like moving from a sea to a trickling brook. You felt somewhat alone out there.
My three boys, Nik and her mom were there rooting me and Nik's dad (ya, he ran it, too) on. I saw them at mile 6 and again at 17. I knew I would see them at 17, so I took a 30 second walk break about 600 yards before I thought I'd see them so I would look strong. I think it worked.
I was averaging sub-8:00 minute miles until 23. Twenty Three!!!
I had to pee from mile 3 through 23 (when I finally found an open porta-john). Those were 20 interesting miles. I kept arguing with myself about where and when to stop. Jessica Lynds story (Vienna City Marathon) inspired me (though I did not go in the woods, Jess).
I already lovingly communicated this to the Marathon people: the finishers medal was very cool and the t-shirt was weak.
My favorite parts:

My whole family was there and really had a great time. Nikki is SO supportive. I love her and my boys!!!!!! It is amazing to share these memories with my family!
I love being able to share the experience with may father-in-law. I have about 5-6 people who inspire my life, and/or running--he does both. He shaved 8-9 minutes off his time from last year as well.
I got to lead a pre-race prayer rally for maybe 65 people (most of whom were waiting for the post-prayer "course lecture"). Anyways, I pray that the name of Jesus Christ was uplifted and that anxious marathoners were comforted.

The rest of the insights would be for rabid marathoners, and would begin to bore.

So that is pretty much the story. I felt recovered as of Tuesday, but after a run today I realize that my legs are still a bit heavy. I cannot wait for the next marathon. You know how it is! If you like to knit, to drink Diet Coke or to read ESPN The Magazine--it's a hobby you look forward to.

I close with one statement that is more for me than for you. Who cares about running? Life is not about a run. Life is about giving God glory with every relationship you have, every note you sing and every minute you live. Remember Eric Liddel (Chariots of Fire)? "I feel God's pleasure when I run" (that is probably a paraphrase). Okay. So life is about following Christ with my footsteps. So if I never run another step I praise God!! Life is his! I am his and he is mine! I hope you have a hobby that you like to give your all to once in a while. I hope we all keep it in perspective.

The phrase I repeated to myself 4 million times from miles 15-26.2: "It's only a marathon."